{"title":"Bureaucracy Clothing \u0026 Accessories","description":"\u003cp\u003eOfficial attire for completely unofficial business. Explore funny sweatshirts, hoodies, long sleeves, bags, hats, socks, and other accessories featuring imaginary agencies, unnecessary departments, bureaucratic satire, and dry humor.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"make-america-green-again-classic-dad-cap-eco-friendly-style-for-st-patricks-day","title":"Make America Green Again Classic Dad Cap - Eco-Friendly Style for St. Patrick's Day","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our stylish Dad Cap, perfect for anyone looking to add a touch of relaxation to their daily outfits. This cap embodies a laid-back vibe, ideal for weekend outings, picnics, or just lounging around. Tailored for adults, it suits anyone who enjoys casual style without compromising comfort. Whether you're celebrating Father’s Day, going on a summer vacation, or simply enjoying a sunny day, this cap is your go-to accessory. Embrace the outdoors and make a statement with every wear!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Comfortable fit with unstructured body and low profile for all-day wear\u003cbr\u003e- Durable 6-panel structure and eyelets for breathability\u003cbr\u003e- Precurved visor with coordinating underbill color\u003cbr\u003e- Adjustable snap closure for a perfect fit\u003cbr\u003e- Made from 100% cotton (Green Camo is a cotton-poly blend)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca title=\"HOME\" href=\"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eALL COLLECTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":50505189785875,"sku":"11537864971091063758","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":50505189818643,"sku":"15752933934696981320","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/make-america-green-again-classic-dad-cap-eco-friendly-style-for-st-patricks-day-by-epials-shop-7819226.jpg?v=1758002759"},{"product_id":"make-america-green-again-foam-trucker-hat-stylish-and-fun-for-st-patricks-day-celebration","title":"Make America Green Again Foam Trucker Hat - Stylish and Fun for St. Patrick's Day Celebration","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our stylish Foam Trucker Hat, the perfect accessory to elevate your casual look! This hat brings a contemporary vibe with its structured six-panel design and eye-catching embroidered slogan. Ideal for outdoor adventures, weekend get-togethers, or just a sunny day in the park, this hat provides both comfort and style. It’s a great fit for anyone who loves expressing their personality through fashion. Perfect for St. Patrick's Day celebrations, casual gatherings, or simply adding a fun touch to your everyday outfit!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- One size fits most for ultimate comfort.\u003cbr\u003e- Made with durable 100% polyester for long-lasting wear.\u003cbr\u003e- Structured design with a six-panel construction for a polished look.\u003cbr\u003e- Pre-curved visor with eight rows of stitching for added style.\u003cbr\u003e- Adjustable plastic snap closure ensures a secure fit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02 - 25.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003ePanel height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca title=\"HOME\" href=\"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eALL COLLECTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":50505194897683,"sku":"78107418188275598300","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Black\/White","offer_id":50505194930451,"sku":"29551505384377683177","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/make-america-green-again-foam-trucker-hat-stylish-and-fun-for-st-patricks-day-celebration-by-epials-shop-5021733.jpg?v=1758002854"},{"product_id":"identifies-as-american-sublimation-socks","title":"Identifies as American Sublimation Socks","description":"\u003cp\u003eStep into comfort and style with these cozy sublimation socks. The all-over print is vibrant and eye-catching, perfect for expressing your personality. With a soft fleece lining, these socks provide a warm embrace for your feet on chillier days. Their unisex fit makes them a great addition to anyone’s wardrobe, whether for lounging around the house or adding flair to your outfit. Ideal for casual wear, gift-giving occasions, or celebrating holidays like Christmas and birthdays, these socks are a thoughtful present for friends and family who appreciate unique accessories. Treat yourself or someone special to a blend of comfort and creativity!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Super soft fleece lining for maximum comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant all-over print design\u003cbr\u003e- Crew length offers calf coverage and warmth\u003cbr\u003e- Made from a durable blend of polyester and spandex\u003cbr\u003e- Available in 3 different sizes for a perfect fit\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Dry flat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eTotal Length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.14\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWomen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6 - 8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.5 - 11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.5 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eMen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5 - 6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7 - 9.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca title=\"HOME\" href=\"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eALL COLLECTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":50590499504403,"sku":"31173165129496173716","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":50590499537171,"sku":"15813335906043717594","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":50590499569939,"sku":"83324712142867995843","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/identifies-as-american-sublimation-socks-by-epials-shop-3495873.jpg?v=1758002105"},{"product_id":"i-identify-as-american-unisex-distressed-cap","title":"I Identify as American Unisex Distressed Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our stylish Unisex Distressed Cap! This cap offers a perfect blend of comfort and vintage charm, making it a must-have accessory for anyone looking to express their personality. Its relaxed fit and unstructured design ensure you can wear it all day with ease, whether you're out and about or enjoying a casual day at home. Ideal for those who celebrate individuality, this cap is perfect for friends, family, and anyone with a love for unique fashion. It’s great for casual outings, outdoor events, or just lounging with friends. It makes an excellent gift for holidays like Independence Day, Memorial Day, and birthdays, celebrating the spirit of being American with a fun twist.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton twill for a vintage look\u003cbr\u003e- Comfortable fit with unstructured design\u003cbr\u003e- Unique distressed elements for added style\u003cbr\u003e- 6-panel structure with curved visor\u003cbr\u003e- Sewn-in label with adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth of front panel, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eBill length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/\" title=\"HOME\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eALL COLLECTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size","offer_id":50590518346003,"sku":"10222570033119763683","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/i-identify-as-american-unisex-distressed-cap-by-epials-shop-8272295.jpg?v=1758002107"},{"product_id":"unisex-trendy-distressed-usa-cap","title":"Unisex Trendy Distressed USA Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our stylish Unisex Distressed Cap, a perfect blend of casual charm and vintage flair. This cap radiates a laid-back vibe that complements any outfit, making it a staple for everyday outings. Ideal for both men and women, it’s perfect for adding a touch of personality to your seasonal wardrobe. Whether you're heading out for a picnic, enjoying a sunny day at the park, or just running errands, this cap effortlessly elevates any look.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCelebrate special occasions like summer outings, music festivals, or casual gatherings with friends. It's also a unique gift for holidays such as birthdays, Father’s Day, or Mother’s Day, appealing to anyone who appreciates stylish and comfortable accessories. Stay cool and trendy with this must-have cap!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton twill for a vintage look\u003cbr\u003e- Comfortable unstructured fit\u003cbr\u003e- Unique distressed style\u003cbr\u003e- 6-panel design with curved visor\u003cbr\u003e- Self-fabric strap with metal D-ring slider\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth of front panel, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eBill length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":52605032169747,"sku":"24066832884717870582","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dashing Red \/ One size","offer_id":52605032202515,"sku":"13322920901082944434","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nickel \/ One size","offer_id":52605032235283,"sku":"14656490249058304545","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Scotland Blue \/ One size","offer_id":50674908954899,"sku":"33513271060488011602","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ One size","offer_id":52605032268051,"sku":"23241337204601362274","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Pink \/ One size","offer_id":52605032300819,"sku":"72948203212430851966","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/15535952946947793337_2048.jpg?v=1762616977"},{"product_id":"usa-embroidered-cap-closed-back-baseball-hat","title":"USA Embroidered Cap - Closed-Back Baseball Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the perfect Closed-Back Structured Cap for anyone looking to combine style with comfort! This cap boasts a timeless design with a six-panel structure, ensuring a great fit while enhancing your casual outfits. Whether you're at a family gathering, enjoying a day out with friends, or heading to a sporting event, this cap adds a touch of flair to any occasion. Ideal for summer picnics, outdoor adventures, or simply lounging in the sun, it’s a must-have for those who love a relaxed, sporty vibe. Perfect for fashion-conscious individuals, sports enthusiasts, or anyone wanting to showcase their pride on holidays like Independence Day!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Six-panel structure for a classic look\u003cbr\u003e- One-size-fits-most design with a stretchy band\u003cbr\u003e- Crafted from a comfortable polyester-cotton blend\u003cbr\u003e- Detailed embroidery area for personal flair\u003cbr\u003e- Stylish silver undervisor for added design appeal\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\/M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\/XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.26 - 22.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.36 - 23.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.92\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003ePanel height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S\/M","offer_id":50679196254483,"sku":"33078280631823882689","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicam Green \/ S\/M","offer_id":50679196287251,"sku":"10302961380343868375","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50679196320019,"sku":"98568112699405739435","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicam Green \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50679196352787,"sku":"28309350777177273958","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/4471139516748988772_2048.jpg?v=1762616638"},{"product_id":"usa-flag-necktie-blue-patriotic-tie-for-celebrations-and-events","title":"USA Flag Necktie - Blue Patriotic Tie for Celebrations and Events","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"68\"\u003eClean. Patriotic. Just a little side-eye.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"70\" data-end=\"300\"\u003eThis crisp blue tie keeps things classic until you notice the detail near the tip, where “USA” shows up with just enough attitude to make you look twice. It’s straightforward, familiar, and not quite as simple as it first appears.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"454\"\u003eFrom a distance, it’s polished and professional. Up close, it carries a little extra personality, the kind that doesn’t need a speech to make its point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"456\" data-end=\"720\"\u003eThe smooth satin finish gives it that sharp, put-together look, while the lightweight feel keeps it comfortable through long days and whatever conversations come with them. It knots clean, holds its shape, and does exactly what it needs to without trying too hard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"763\"\u003eClassic. Confident. Not entirely neutral.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"765\" data-end=\"787\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"765\" data-end=\"785\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"789\" data-end=\"1050\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4xnujt\" data-start=\"789\" data-end=\"842\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kq195n\" data-start=\"843\" data-end=\"893\"\u003eSoft satin finish with a smooth, refined sheen\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"izip35\" data-start=\"894\" data-end=\"940\"\u003eLightweight fabric (3.10 oz\/yd² \/ 105 gsm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1azr0bz\" data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"992\"\u003eOne-sided print with detail placed near the tip\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"10auykg\" data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"1032\"\u003eClean V-shaped end with keeper loop\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"142q1wr\" data-start=\"1033\" data-end=\"1050\"\u003eSewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1073\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1077\" data-end=\"1187\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1n1aemz\" data-start=\"1077\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003eDo not wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1093\" data-end=\"1110\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"bmv6ke\" data-start=\"1111\" data-end=\"1132\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ppbe1v\" data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"jo92fq\" data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1187\"\u003eDry clean only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1199\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1197\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1201\" data-end=\"1247\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sv22b3\" data-start=\"1201\" data-end=\"1221\"\u003eLength: 55.91 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e2cct\" data-start=\"1222\" data-end=\"1247\"\u003eWidth: 1.57 – 3.94 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1249\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1249\" data-end=\"1281\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1285\" data-end=\"1429\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThis item is made to order just for you. It may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps reduce overproduction and keeps things intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50705506009363,"sku":"22565532603901822266","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/7629968839482821881_2048.jpg?v=1762612333"},{"product_id":"calm-down-just-a-red-hat","title":"Unisex Distressed Cap - Calm Down Just a Red Hat","description":"\u003ch2\u003eDiscover the Unisex Distressed Cap - Calm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than just a fashionable accessory—it's a statement piece that speaks to your personality and style. Whether you're headed to the beach, running errands, or just relaxing at home, this unisex distressed cap offers the perfect blend of comfort and style. Made from high-quality materials, this cap ensures longevity while providing a laid-back vibe that's perfect for any occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose the Calm Down Just a Red Hat?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen it comes to headwear, the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e stands out for its unique design and practicality. Here are some of the key features that make this cap a must-have:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e**Stylish Design**: The distressed look adds a vintage charm to your outfit while the bold red color ensures you’re making a statement.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e**Adjustable Fit**: With a convenient strap at the back, you can customize the fit to suit your comfort.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e**Lightweight and Breathable**: Ideal for warm days, this cap is designed to keep you cool, making it perfect for outdoor activities.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e**Versatile Use**: Whether you’re dressing up for a casual outing or lounging at home, this cap complements any ensemble.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis cap defines versatility. It effortlessly transitions from casual outings to more relaxed environments, making it an essential part of your wardrobe. The unisex design ensures that it suits everyone, making it a fantastic gift for friends, family, or even yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eComfort Meets Style\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e prioritizes your comfort without compromising on style. The materials used in its construction are handpicked to ensure soft touch and breathability, allowing your head to feel fresh even after long hours of wear. The distressed detailing not only enhances its aesthetic appeal but also provides a unique character that sets you apart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect for Every Season\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the standout features of the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is its year-round usability. In warmer months, you can shield yourself from the sun, while in cooler seasons, it adds an extra layer of warmth. No matter the season, this cap remains a reliable and stylish accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith its vibrant color and unique design, it’s easy to pair the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e with any outfit, whether it’s casual jeans and a t-shirt or a relaxed dress. This adaptability makes it easier for you to express your personal style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDurability You Can Count On\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInvesting in the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e means choosing quality. Made from durable fabric, this cap is designed to withstand regular wear and tear. Its sturdiness ensures it maintains its shape and form even after numerous washes. You won’t just be buying a cap; you'll be making a long-term style investment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo keep your \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e in top condition, gentle care is recommended. Hand-washing with mild detergent and air-drying is ideal to preserve the fabric and shape. Avoid harsh chemicals or excessive heat to extend the lifespan of your hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eIdeal Gifting Option\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSearching for the perfect gift? Look no further. The \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is an ideal choice for birthdays, holidays, or just to let someone know you’re thinking of them. Its unisex design and vibrant color make it a universally appealing accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCustomer Testimonials\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon’t just take our word for it! Here’s what some of our happy customers are saying about the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e“Absolutely love this cap! It's comfortable and goes with everything I wear.” - Sarah T.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e“Finally, a red hat that fits well and has character! I'm getting one for my partner.” - Dan R.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e“Perfect for my beach days and casual outings. Highly recommend!” - Lisa M.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShop Now\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReady to elevate your style? Don’t miss out on the chance to own the \u003cstrong\u003eCalm Down Just a Red Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e. Click the button below to add this fantastic accessory to your collection today! Your wardrobe will thank you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy Now\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Dashing Red \/ One size","offer_id":50853672386835,"sku":"15403183676743794920","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/unisex-distressed-cap-calm-down-its-just-a-red-hat-by-epials-shop-4910437.jpg?v=1758000521"},{"product_id":"freedom-felines-camo-embroidered-hat","title":"Freedom \u0026 Felines Camo Embroidered Hat","description":"\u003ch2\u003eDiscover the Perfect Style with the Freedom \u0026amp; Felines Camo Embroidered Hat\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong\u003eFreedom \u0026amp; Felines Camo Embroidered Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e, a unique blend of style and passion for cat lovers and outdoor enthusiasts alike. This hat isn't just an accessory; it's a statement of individuality and a love for our feline friends. 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Each stitch signifies the joy and adventures shared between humans and their pets. As you wear this hat, you carry with you the spirit of independence that cats symbolize.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect for Every Occasion\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether enjoying a sunny day at the beach, taking a hike, or just hanging out with friends, the versatility of our camo hat makes it ideal for various occasions. Layer it over your favorite tee or hoodie, and you’re ready to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton for breathable comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e Adjustable fit suitable for everyone\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Unique camo pattern with an embroidered cat design\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hand wash recommended to maintain quality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eCustomer Satisfaction Guaranteed\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt Freedom \u0026amp; Felines, we prioritize our customers. Each \u003cstrong\u003eFreedom \u0026amp; Felines Camo Embroidered Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is meticulously crafted to ensure high quality and satisfaction. We are confident that this hat will quickly become an essential part of your wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eBe Part of Our Community\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing the \u003cstrong\u003eFreedom \u0026amp; Felines Camo Embroidered Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is not just about style; it's about joining a community of like-minded individuals who share your passion for cats and the outdoors. Share your adventures with us on social media using #FreedomAndFelines – we love seeing how you rock your hat!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eOrder Yours Today!\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon’t miss out on the opportunity to express your love for adventure and our feline friends. The \u003cstrong\u003eFreedom \u0026amp; Felines Camo Embroidered Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is the perfect accessory for anyone who cherishes freedom and cats. Click the “Add to Cart” button now and elevate your style today!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S\/M","offer_id":50969005850899,"sku":"10352679344872518006","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Navy \/ S\/M","offer_id":50969005883667,"sku":"36461031164640867206","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S\/M","offer_id":50969005916435,"sku":"28798562511311645349","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicam Black \/ S\/M","offer_id":50969005949203,"sku":"16615037243151623454","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50969005981971,"sku":"12319623550499799679","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Navy \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50969006014739,"sku":"14059889604044444237","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50969006047507,"sku":"14249197253253714656","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicam Black \/ L\/XL","offer_id":50969006080275,"sku":"13920809171732780533","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/freedom-felines-camo-cap-structured-embroidered-hat-for-cat-lovers-by-epials-shop-4053025.jpg?v=1757999924"},{"product_id":"nope-statement-shoulder-handbag","title":"Anti Shoulder Handbag, Unique Statement Purse","description":"\u003cp\u003eDiscover our vibrant Shoulder Handbag, a bold accessory that showcases your unique style while providing everyday functionality. This eye-catching bag features a stunning double-sided print, perfect for making a statement at any outing. Whether you're heading to brunch, a casual day out, or running errands, this handbag brings a lively atmosphere to your ensemble. Designed for the fashion-forward, it appeals especially to those who enjoy expressing their personality through their accessories. Ideal for holidays like birthdays, fun celebrations, or just to brighten up your everyday look, this handbag is sure to become your go-to companion.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant colors achieved through advanced printing techniques for standout designs.\u003cbr\u003e- Crafted from 100% high-grade PU leather for a luxurious feel without the guilt.\u003cbr\u003e- Includes an adjustable and removable shoulder strap for versatile carrying options.\u003cbr\u003e- Spacious interior features a zippered pocket and two open pockets for organization.\u003cbr\u003e- Stylish black handles complement the bold design, making it perfect for any occasion.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not expose to the sun, keep in a dry place\u003cbr\u003e- Before cleaning the bag, remove all the items from the bag. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e9.45\" x 8.27\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eShoulder strap length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e49.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle length , in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"9.45\" x 8.27\" \/ Black","offer_id":51967632834835,"sku":"11103596104950214243","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/12897318022902959456_2048.jpg?v=1762612576"},{"product_id":"huge-bag-weekend-bag-handbag","title":"HUGE BAG! Parody Design – Bold Political Humor Tote","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"337\"\u003eMake a statement that’s larger than life with our \u003cstrong data-end=\"414\" data-start=\"387\"\u003eHUGE BAG! Parody Design\u003c\/strong\u003e — a cheeky nod to big personalities and even bigger opinions. Featuring a cartoonish, over-the-top politician character in a bright suit with a red tie and power pose, this design blends humor, confidence, and classic comic-book flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"920\" data-start=\"654\"\u003ePerfect for tote bags, weekender bags, T-shirts, mugs, or any gift item, this artwork celebrates bold expression with a wink of satire. The transparent background keeps it print-ready and versatile — ideal for anyone who loves political humor without taking sides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1119\" data-start=\"922\"\u003eWhether you’re gifting a friend with a great sense of humor or collecting witty statement pieces for yourself, this \u003cstrong data-end=\"1051\" data-start=\"1038\"\u003eHUGE BAG!\u003c\/strong\u003e design is sure to get laughs, nods, and maybe a few double-takes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1138\" data-start=\"1121\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1136\" data-start=\"1121\"\u003eHighlights:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1415\" data-start=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1179\" data-start=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1179\" data-start=\"1141\"\u003eExclusive EpilepticAL parody artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1245\" data-start=\"1180\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1245\" data-start=\"1182\"\u003eVibrant, patriotic color palette (red, white, blue, and gold)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1326\" data-start=\"1246\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1326\" data-start=\"1248\"\u003ePlayful, comic-style illustration of a confident “politician-type” character\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1371\" data-start=\"1327\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1371\" data-start=\"1329\"\u003ePerfect for bags, shirts, mugs, or décor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1415\" data-start=\"1372\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1415\" data-start=\"1374\"\u003eGreat conversation starter and gag gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24\" × 13\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51973637210387,"sku":"17398120824465222343","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/4850877837279741083_2048.jpg?v=1762496519"},{"product_id":"hater-fun-political-parody-bucket-hat","title":"Hater Fun Political Parody Bucket Hat","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"668\"\u003eMake shade fashionable — and funny — with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"466\" data-end=\"507\"\u003eHater Fun Political Parody Bucket Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"668\"\u003eDesigned for those who can laugh at life (and themselves), this statement hat combines comfort, durability, and a touch of mischief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"670\" data-end=\"972\"\u003eCrafted from sturdy polyester and available in multiple sizes, it’s built for sunny adventures — from music festivals to backyard lounging. Choose your stitching color to make it uniquely yours. Whether you’re relaxing poolside or throwing subtle shade, this hat keeps you cool in more ways than one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"977\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"1006\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"986\" data-end=\"1006\"\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1007\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1007\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e100% durable polyester material for strength and longevity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1070\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003eChoice of stitching color for a personalized accent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1126\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1128\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003eProvides reliable sun protection for outdoor fun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1179\" data-end=\"1240\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1240\"\u003eAvailable in three convenient sizes for a comfortable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1241\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1243\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eProudly made in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1273\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1275\" data-end=\"1303\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1282\" data-end=\"1303\"\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1304\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1304\" data-end=\"1344\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1306\" data-end=\"1344\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C or 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1363\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1365\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003eDry flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1376\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1378\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1412\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1414\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003eDry clean if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1437\" data-end=\"1440\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1467\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1449\" data-end=\"1467\"\u003eDesign details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1468\" data-end=\"1721\"\u003eThe \u003cem data-start=\"1472\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003eHater Fun Political Parody Bucket Hat\u003c\/em\u003e features high-quality stitching and lightweight polyester construction for all-day comfort. 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width: 100.06%; height: 105px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"height: 21px;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px; width: 46.5128%; height: 21px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px; width: 10.1914%; height: 21px;\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px; width: 14.8986%; height: 21px;\"\u003eMedium\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px; width: 10.3191%; height: 21px;\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"height: 21px;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 46.5128%; height: 21px;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; 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color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 14.8986%; height: 21px;\"\u003e2.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 10.3191%; height: 21px;\"\u003e2.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"height: 21px;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 46.5128%; height: 21px;\"\u003eHead circumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 10.1914%; height: 21px;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word; width: 14.8986%; height: 21px;\"\u003e21.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; 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This beanie is perfect for anyone looking to add a touch of coziness to their outfit while staying warm during those chilly days. Crafted for both men and women, it offers versatility and can fit into any personal style seamlessly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose the One Big Beautiful Beanie?\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't just a typical beanie—it's a statement piece that combines high-quality materials with a chic design. The \u003cstrong\u003eOne Big Beautiful Beanie for Him\/Her\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than just a fashion accessory; it is designed to elevate your overall look while providing the warmth and comfort you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eKey Features of the One Big Beautiful Beanie for Him\/Her\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for everyone! 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The oversized design means it fits comfortably over any hairstyle, allowing you to flaunt your look effortlessly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003ePerfect for All Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhether you're heading out for a hike, running errands, or just enjoying a cozy day indoors, this beanie is incredibly versatile. Pair it with a winter coat for a polished look or wear it with your favorite casual outfit to effortlessly pull together your style.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eGift the Warmth\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eLooking for the perfect gift for a friend or family member? The \u003cstrong\u003eOne Big Beautiful Beanie for Him\/Her\u003c\/strong\u003e is an ideal choice! It combines practicality with style, making it a suitable present for birthdays, holidays, or just because. Show someone you care by gifting them warmth and comfort!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCustomer Reviews\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon’t just take our word for it! 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Order the \u003cstrong\u003eOne Big Beautiful Beanie for Him\/Her\u003c\/strong\u003e today and experience the combination of style, warmth, and comfort firsthand. 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Don’t wait – grab your \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Badass Unisex Distressed Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e today and enjoy the blend of comfort, quality, and edgy style. Click ‘Add to Cart’ now and be the badass you truly are!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Stone \/ One size","offer_id":52113135698195,"sku":"20317445326363762266","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/big-beautiful-badass-unisex-distressed-hat-by-epials-shop-2232674.jpg?v=1757998005"},{"product_id":"black-white-freedom-necktie","title":"Black \u0026 White Freedom Necktie – Patriotic Formalwear","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"54\"\u003eBlack. White. No gray area.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"56\" data-end=\"262\"\u003eThe Black \u0026amp; White Freedom Necktie keeps it clean, sharp, and very clear about where it stands. 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Not up for debate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"705\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"703\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4xnujt\" data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kq195n\" data-start=\"761\" data-end=\"811\"\u003eSoft satin finish with a smooth, refined sheen\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"izip35\" data-start=\"812\" data-end=\"858\"\u003eLightweight fabric (3.10 oz\/yd² \/ 105 gsm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"kh9f5j\" data-start=\"859\" data-end=\"902\"\u003eOne-sided print with clean V-shaped end\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lwfq82\" data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"945\"\u003eKeeper loop for a secure, polished fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"142q1wr\" data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"963\"\u003eSewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"988\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1n1aemz\" data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003eDo not wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1006\" data-end=\"1023\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"bmv6ke\" data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1045\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ppbe1v\" data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1081\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"jo92fq\" data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003eDry clean only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1102\" data-end=\"1112\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1102\" data-end=\"1110\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1114\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sv22b3\" data-start=\"1114\" data-end=\"1134\"\u003eLength: 55.91 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e2cct\" data-start=\"1135\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003eWidth: 1.57 – 3.94 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1162\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1162\" data-end=\"1194\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1342\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThis item is made to order just for you. It may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps reduce overproduction and keeps things intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52398700822803,"sku":"18605097271687862197","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/6086475793390449461_2048.jpg?v=1758555242"},{"product_id":"bold-red-freedom-necktie-statement-accessory","title":"Bold Red Freedom Necktie – Patriotic Statement Accessory","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"flex flex-col text-sm pb-25\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:2f31fddd-6482-49cd-80b4-e986a7d164ff-98\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-110\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"cf790925-b96b-4fdc-87e8-efeb52c1372f\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-3-instant\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full wrap-break-word dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"72\"\u003eBold color. Clear message. No overexplaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"74\" data-end=\"266\"\u003eThe Bold Red Freedom Necktie doesn’t try to blend in, and it’s not supposed to. It brings classic power-tie energy with a word that already knows what it means to you. No long speech required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"268\" data-end=\"498\"\u003eClean, sharp, and confident, this is the kind of piece that shows up ready. Whether you’re headed into a meeting, an event, or just choosing to wear what you believe instead of talking about it, it does the job without hesitation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"667\"\u003eThe smooth satin finish keeps it polished, the lightweight feel keeps it comfortable, and the structured shape holds steady through long days and longer conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"669\" data-end=\"711\"\u003eDirect. Intentional. Exactly what it says.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"735\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"733\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"737\" data-end=\"993\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4xnujt\" data-start=\"737\" data-end=\"790\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kq195n\" data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"841\"\u003eSoft satin finish with a smooth, refined sheen\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"izip35\" data-start=\"842\" data-end=\"888\"\u003eLightweight fabric (3.10 oz\/yd² \/ 105 gsm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"kh9f5j\" data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"932\"\u003eOne-sided print with clean V-shaped end\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lwfq82\" data-start=\"933\" data-end=\"975\"\u003eKeeper loop for a secure, polished fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"142q1wr\" data-start=\"976\" data-end=\"993\"\u003eSewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"1018\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"1016\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1n1aemz\" data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1035\"\u003eDo not wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1036\" data-end=\"1053\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"bmv6ke\" data-start=\"1054\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ppbe1v\" data-start=\"1076\" data-end=\"1111\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"jo92fq\" data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003eDry clean only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1132\" data-end=\"1142\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1132\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sv22b3\" data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1164\"\u003eLength: 55.91 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e2cct\" data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003eWidth: 1.57 – 3.94 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1224\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1372\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThis item is made to order just for you. It may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps reduce overproduction and keeps things intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52398701248787,"sku":"15102669099510198629","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/11238459318599851965_2048.jpg?v=1758555171"},{"product_id":"freedom-weekender-bag","title":"Black \u0026 White Freedom Weekender Bag – Patriotic Travel Tote","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"374\" data-end=\"543\"\u003eCarry your values wherever adventure takes you with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eBlack \u0026amp; White \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"461\"\u003eFreedom Weekender Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e — a statement piece that blends function, freedom, and timeless American style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"545\" data-end=\"905\"\u003eThis spacious travel tote features a \u003cstrong data-start=\"582\" data-end=\"640\"\u003eclean white design with bold black “FREEDOM” lettering\u003c\/strong\u003e and a subtle \u003cstrong data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"674\"\u003eU.S. flag accent\u003c\/strong\u003e, symbolizing independence, confidence, and unity. Made from \u003cstrong data-start=\"735\" data-end=\"761\"\u003edurable spun polyester\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s lightweight, wrinkle-resistant, and built for the journey — whether that’s a weekend getaway, beach escape, gym trip, or daily commute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"907\" data-end=\"1155\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"938\"\u003e27\" cotton rope handles\u003c\/strong\u003e ensure a comfortable grip and sophisticated look, while the \u003cstrong data-start=\"999\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003ecream sheeting interior lining\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps your essentials secure and organized. Proudly assembled in the USA, this bag celebrates liberty with every carry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1157\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1162\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1188\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1609\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1193\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003e100% spun polyester exterior for durable, wrinkle-free performance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1327\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1264\" data-end=\"1327\"\u003eBold black “FREEDOM” lettering on white with U.S. flag accent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1328\" data-end=\"1407\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1407\"\u003eComfortable 27\" cotton rope handles with gold grommets for a polished touch\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1477\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1410\" data-end=\"1477\"\u003eFlexible 24\" × 13\" size for weekend travel or everyday essentials\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1480\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eCream sheeting interior lining for clean, elegant organization\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1545\" data-end=\"1609\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1609\"\u003eProudly assembled in the USA with globally sourced materials\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1611\" data-end=\"1614\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1616\" data-end=\"1646\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1623\" data-end=\"1644\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1831\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1683\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1649\" data-end=\"1683\"\u003eRemove all items before cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1684\" data-end=\"1737\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1686\" data-end=\"1737\"\u003ePretreat visible stains with gentle stain remover\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1738\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1740\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003eMix warm water with mild detergent and clean using a soft cloth or brush\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1815\" data-end=\"1831\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1817\" data-end=\"1831\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24\" × 13\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52403604291859,"sku":"30003531132335640580","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/5371750551104514006_2048.jpg?v=1775526409"},{"product_id":"the-best-bag-huge-tremendous-black-gold-weekender-bag","title":"The Best Bag. Huge. Tremendous. — Black \u0026 Gold Weekender Bag","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"373\" data-end=\"519\"\u003eMeet \u003cstrong data-start=\"378\" data-end=\"413\"\u003eThe Best Bag. Huge. Tremendous.\u003c\/strong\u003e — a bold, elegant weekender designed for travelers who appreciate luxury \u003cem data-start=\"487\" data-end=\"492\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e a good political parody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"827\"\u003eThe exterior features a rich, solid black background paired with striking gold block lettering and tiny gold stars for a refined, high-end look. A small, discreet caricature of a blonde, bombastic politician sits near the bottom corner—subtle enough to stay stylish, but funny enough to spark conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"1103\"\u003eMade from durable spun polyester with a cream sheeting interior, this oversized bag is perfect for overnight trips, long weekends, gym gear, or as a statement carry-on. The T-bottom structure keeps it upright and roomy, while the thick rope handles offer a comfortable grip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1149\"\u003eIt’s elegant. It’s funny. It’s a whole vibe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003eBag Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1239\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1170\" data-end=\"1239\"\u003e100% spun polyester exterior — durable, structured, and lightweight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1281\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1281\"\u003eOne size: 24\" x 13\" (60.9 cm × 33 cm)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1282\" data-end=\"1344\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1344\"\u003eCream sheeting interior lining (50% cotton, 50% polyester)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1394\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1394\"\u003eT-bottom construction for shape and stability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1395\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003eThick rope handles for easy carrying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1436\" data-end=\"1497\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1497\"\u003eCrisp black exterior with gold lettering and accent stars\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1498\" data-end=\"1551\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1500\" data-end=\"1551\"\u003eDiscreet caricature illustration in bottom corner\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1552\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1605\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1652\"\u003ePlease note: Size tolerance ±0.75\" (1.9 cm)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1656\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1656\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1678\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1678\" data-end=\"1704\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1680\" data-end=\"1704\"\u003eWipe with a damp cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1705\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1707\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003eDo not machine wash, soak, or bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24\" × 13\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52690207768851,"sku":"99594015263022543291","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/1142918270939104426_2048.jpg?v=1763737379"},{"product_id":"so-much-swoop-so-little-space-political-parody-accessory-bag","title":"“So Much Swoop, So Little Space” – Political Parody Accessory Bag","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"366\" data-end=\"719\"\u003eCarry your essentials with a wink and a swoop. This sturdy accessory pouch delivers everyday function with a bold dose of political parody. Made from smooth, shape-holding spun polyester and lined with a protective non-woven laminate, it keeps your makeup, chargers, pens, receipts, or road-trip must-haves neatly tucked away without sagging or warping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003eThe diagonal header stripe adds punch, while the cheeky swoop graphic and playful text deliver the perfect hit of humor. Finished with a gold zipper pull for a polished touch, this lightweight pouch moves effortlessly from purse to car console to office drawer. Durable, vibrant, and unapologetically extra—just like the hair that inspired it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1066\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1071\" data-end=\"1095\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1093\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1096\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1096\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1121\"\u003e100% spun polyester\u003c\/strong\u003e — holds its shape and resists wrinkles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1231\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1231\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1194\"\u003eNon-woven laminate lining\u003c\/strong\u003e for added structure and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1232\" data-end=\"1300\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1300\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003eVibrant full-color printing\u003c\/strong\u003e for crisp, long-lasting graphics\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1301\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1303\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1303\" data-end=\"1329\"\u003eDurable zipper closure\u003c\/strong\u003e with gold-colored puller\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1357\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003eAvailable in multiple sizes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1391\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced components\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1453\" data-end=\"1478\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1476\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1479\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1479\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1481\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003eRemove all items before cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1567\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1567\"\u003ePretreat stains with a gentle remover if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1568\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1570\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003eMix warm water with mild detergent and clean using a terry cloth or soft brush\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1651\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1653\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003eLet air dry completely\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eTop length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eBottom length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.15\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":52745116352787,"sku":"18659963387192581653","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":52745116385555,"sku":"26846230284168363680","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/12406247755472923974_2048.jpg?v=1764686438"},{"product_id":"mock-presidential-seal-makeup-pouch-perfect-face-perfect-pouch","title":"Mock Presidential Seal Makeup Pouch – “Perfect Face. Perfect Pouch.”","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"353\" data-end=\"946\"\u003eThis bold and witty accessory pouch adds presidential-level flair to your everyday essentials. The center features a mock seal with a smiling, brush-wielding caricature surrounded by stars — a playful spin on “official” style that turns any makeup routine into a moment of greatness. Crafted from structured spun polyester with a smooth finish, this pouch keeps its shape whether it’s tossed in a tote, perched on a vanity, or packed for travel. The vivid red-white stripes or scattered stars backdrop creates a fun, patriotic punch, while the gold zipper pull adds a polished finishing touch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"948\" data-end=\"1041\"\u003ePerfect for makeup, chargers, pens, travel minis, or anything deserving of a “perfect pouch.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1048\" data-end=\"1072\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1050\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003e100% spun polyester\u003c\/strong\u003e for a structured, shape-retaining body\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1140\" data-end=\"1204\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1142\" data-end=\"1204\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1142\" data-end=\"1171\"\u003eNon-woven laminate lining\u003c\/strong\u003e adds durability and protection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1207\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003eBright, crisp \u003cstrong data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003efull-color printing\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the mock presidential seal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003eDurable zipper closure\u003c\/strong\u003e with gold-colored puller\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1371\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1371\"\u003eAvailable in multiple sizes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1372\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced materials\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1435\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1437\" data-end=\"1458\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1461\" data-end=\"1610\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1461\" data-end=\"1492\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1492\"\u003eEmpty pouch before cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1493\" data-end=\"1522\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1495\" data-end=\"1522\"\u003ePretreat stains if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003eClean with warm water + mild detergent using a soft cloth or brush\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1594\" data-end=\"1610\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1596\" data-end=\"1610\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eTop length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eBottom length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.15\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":52745491611923,"sku":"27895678951553141004","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":52745491644691,"sku":"21193523806548876543","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/10159413486517151581_2048.jpg?v=1764688195"},{"product_id":"comb-over-chaos-women-s-leggings","title":"Comb-Over Chaos Women’s Leggings","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"572\"\u003eBring a little political parody flair to your athleisure with these \u003cstrong data-start=\"314\" data-end=\"342\"\u003eComb-Over Chaos Leggings\u003c\/strong\u003e — a tongue-in-cheek pattern featuring swooshing hair icons and sunshine motifs scattered across a sleek black background. Bold enough to spark a laugh, stylish enough to wear anywhere, and comfortable enough for all-day movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"722\"\u003eWhether you're running errands, running the world, or running from the drama — these leggings keep things stretchy, silky, and hilariously on-brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"752\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"732\" data-end=\"752\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"831\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"831\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eThin elastic mid-rise waistband\u003c\/strong\u003e for a casual, comfortable everyday fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"832\" data-end=\"902\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"902\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eVivid, full-color print\u003c\/strong\u003e with a silky smooth finish on one side\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"997\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"997\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"939\"\u003eDurable, flexible fabric blend\u003c\/strong\u003e (83% polyester \/ 17% spandex) designed to move with you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"998\" data-end=\"1066\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1066\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1037\"\u003eAutomatic seam-thread color match\u003c\/strong\u003e for a clean, polished look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1136\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1069\" data-end=\"1136\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1069\" data-end=\"1116\"\u003ePrinted size and care info inside waistband\u003c\/strong\u003e for added comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1137\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1139\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1139\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1189\"\u003eAssembled in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e from globally sourced materials\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1277\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1257\" data-end=\"1277\"\u003e❌ Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1295\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1280\" data-end=\"1295\"\u003e❌ Do not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1298\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003e❌ Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1316\" data-end=\"1358\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1318\" data-end=\"1358\"\u003e✔️ Machine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e✔️ Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eInseam length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWaist width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e13.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHip width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.09\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768767251,"sku":"79732269424176443961","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768800019,"sku":"13504581492847801971","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768832787,"sku":"28494021583295094524","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768865555,"sku":"24790365100159493045","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768898323,"sku":"50211141890056941436","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Seam thread color automatically matched to design","offer_id":52750768931091,"sku":"71902088396927297080","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/15104230384419061374_2048.jpg?v=1764773871"},{"product_id":"border-patrol-cat-boxer-briefs-men-s-stretch-boxer-briefs","title":"Border Patrol Cat Boxer Briefs – Men’s Stretch Boxer Briefs","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"347\"\u003e📝 PRODUCT DESCRIPTION\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"348\" data-end=\"641\"\u003eThese men’s boxer briefs bring a wink of attitude to everyday essentials. Designed for comfort first and humor second (but only just), they feature a playful silhouetted cat “border patrol” circling the waistband and a bold \u003cstrong data-start=\"572\" data-end=\"589\"\u003eBORDER PATROL\u003c\/strong\u003e front print that doesn’t take itself too seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"1047\"\u003eThe soft, stretchy fabric moves with you without riding up or pinching, while breathable, quick-dry polyester helps keep things fresh through long days, busy schedules, and whatever else you’ve got going on. Whether you’re wearing them under work clothes, lounging at home, or packing for a weekend away, these boxer briefs add a subtle confidence boost — and a private joke you’ll appreciate every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1088\"\u003eComfortable. Functional. Slightly smug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1090\" data-end=\"1093\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1118\"\u003e✨ PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1121\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003e92% polyester, 8% spandex for stretch and shape retention\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003eSoft elastic waistband designed for all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1237\" data-end=\"1296\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1239\" data-end=\"1296\"\u003eVibrant, crisp all-over print with bold graphic details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1297\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1299\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003eBreathable antimicrobial fabric helps reduce odors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1354\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003eMedium-weight fabric (6.5 oz\/yd²) with regular fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1409\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003eSewn-in size label for convenience\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1447\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1452\" data-end=\"1477\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1480\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1520\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eTumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1545\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1563\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1565\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1579\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (circumference), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e13.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e13.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eInseam, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black stitching","offer_id":52803080913171,"sku":"82243495535252427758","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black stitching","offer_id":52803080945939,"sku":"10648190867687896844","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black stitching","offer_id":52803080978707,"sku":"33166721216811005478","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black stitching","offer_id":52803081011475,"sku":"24587049738843500750","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black stitching","offer_id":52803081044243,"sku":"25955621897679648537","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/border-patrol-cat-boxer-briefs-mens-stretch-boxer-briefs-by-epials-shop-2228215.jpg?v=1789596493"},{"product_id":"still-standing-eagle-necktie","title":"Still Standing Eagle Necktie","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"51\"\u003eNot soaring. Still here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"53\" data-end=\"279\"\u003eThis slim black satin tie features a worn, steady eagle set against the U.S. flag with the words “Still Standing” placed near the tip. It doesn’t shout. It doesn’t posture. It just stands, which, some days, is the whole story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"281\" data-end=\"445\"\u003eThis isn’t about victory laps or big speeches. It’s about showing up anyway. Tired, grounded, and still upright. The kind of strength that doesn’t need an audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"447\" data-end=\"565\"\u003eThe design sits low and quiet, noticeable only when someone’s paying attention. Which is exactly how it’s meant to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"567\" data-end=\"740\"\u003eWith a clean, modern cut and a soft satin sheen, it pairs easily with anything from formal wear to everyday sharp. It adds weight without noise, meaning without performance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"742\" data-end=\"813\"\u003eBecause sometimes resilience looks like nothing more than not quitting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"815\" data-end=\"837\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"815\" data-end=\"835\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"839\" data-end=\"1137\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4xnujt\" data-start=\"839\" data-end=\"892\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"18oye0w\" data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"943\"\u003eSoft satin finish with a subtle, refined sheen\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"izip35\" data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"990\"\u003eLightweight fabric (3.10 oz\/yd² \/ 105 gsm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"kh9f5j\" data-start=\"991\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eOne-sided print with clean V-shaped end\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lwfq82\" data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003eKeeper loop for a secure, polished fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"142q1wr\" data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1095\"\u003eSewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lahinz\" data-start=\"1096\" data-end=\"1137\"\u003eBlank product sourced internationally\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1139\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1139\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1164\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1n1aemz\" data-start=\"1164\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003eDo not wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1197\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"bmv6ke\" data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ppbe1v\" data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"jo92fq\" data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eDry clean only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sv22b3\" data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003eLength: 55.91 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e2cct\" data-start=\"1309\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003eWidth: 1.57 – 3.94 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1336\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1336\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1372\" data-end=\"1516\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThis item is made to order just for you. It may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps reduce overproduction and keeps things intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52803152445715,"sku":"11891639372622799060","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/16920966802762100328_2048.jpg?v=1767964194"},{"product_id":"total-success-baby-bodysuit-political-parody-edition","title":"Total Success Baby Bodysuit – Political Parody Edition","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"290\" data-start=\"263\"\u003e🍼 Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"639\" data-start=\"291\"\u003eSoft, snuggly, and proudly tiny, this baby bodysuit pairs everyday comfort with a tongue-in-cheek political parody emblem centered at the chest. Designed to look official while meaning just enough to be funny, the seal-style graphic delivers quiet satire without saying too much — a perfect fit for little humans already surrounded by big opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"988\" data-start=\"641\"\u003eMade from breathable 100% cotton, this short-sleeve bodysuit features an expandable lap-shoulder neckline and a higher-positioned snap closure to make outfit changes and diaper duty faster and calmer. Ribbed leg openings and rib cotton construction help the bodysuit keep its shape through washes, while printed labels ensure irritation-free wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1184\" data-start=\"990\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-end=\"1034\" data-start=\"1003\"\u003ewhite, pink, blue, and gray\u003c\/strong\u003e, it works equally well for cozy days at home, family visits, or layered under a sweater on cooler evenings. A small outfit with a big sense of irony.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1189\" data-start=\"1186\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1214\" data-start=\"1191\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1509\" data-start=\"1215\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1273\" data-start=\"1215\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1273\" data-start=\"1217\"\u003e100% soft, smooth cotton for comfortable everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1328\" data-start=\"1274\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1328\" data-start=\"1276\"\u003eExpandable lap-shoulder neckline for easy dressing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1329\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1331\"\u003eHigher-positioned bottom snap closure for quick diaper changes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1458\" data-start=\"1396\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1458\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003eRibbed leg openings with rib cotton to help maintain shape\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1509\" data-start=\"1459\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1509\" data-start=\"1461\"\u003ePrinted care label for irritation-free comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1514\" data-start=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1541\" data-start=\"1516\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1671\" data-start=\"1542\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1581\" data-start=\"1542\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1581\" data-start=\"1544\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1615\" data-start=\"1582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1615\" data-start=\"1584\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1634\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1634\" data-start=\"1618\"\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1655\" data-start=\"1635\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1655\" data-start=\"1637\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1671\" data-start=\"1656\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1671\" data-start=\"1658\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1676\" data-start=\"1673\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1702\" data-start=\"1678\"\u003e🎨 Available Colors\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1731\" data-start=\"1703\"\u003eWhite · Pink · Blue · Gray\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003ePreemie\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eNB (0M)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eNB (0-3M)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3-6M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e6-9M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e12M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e18M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24M\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.00 - 17.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.01 - 20.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.98 - 24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02 - 25.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.98 - 27.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.99 - 30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00 - 32.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.01 - 34.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWeight, lb\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.00 - 5.07\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.07 - 7.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.94 - 11.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.90 - 16.09\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.09 - 20.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.06 - 24.03\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.03 - 28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00 - 31.97\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Preemie \/ White","offer_id":52803199893779,"sku":"25079946236471174518","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"NB (0M) \/ White","offer_id":52803199926547,"sku":"77871336949106699910","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"NB (0-3M) \/ Blue","offer_id":52803199959315,"sku":"19819937036317718814","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"NB (0-3M) \/ Grey","offer_id":52803199992083,"sku":"18815090325117249702","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"NB (0-3M) \/ Pink","offer_id":52803200024851,"sku":"23936307732415499342","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"NB (0-3M) \/ White","offer_id":52803200057619,"sku":"32397750398709146966","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-6M \/ Blue","offer_id":52803200090387,"sku":"80301364124973477022","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-6M \/ Grey","offer_id":52803200123155,"sku":"11363245716375223423","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-6M \/ Pink","offer_id":52803200155923,"sku":"13515298157685901482","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-6M \/ White","offer_id":52803200188691,"sku":"12764769197418020894","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6-9M \/ Grey","offer_id":52803200221459,"sku":"14696124540578471414","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6-9M \/ Pink","offer_id":52803200254227,"sku":"23115266043206592063","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6-9M \/ White","offer_id":52803200286995,"sku":"15736825248520246511","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12M \/ White","offer_id":52803200319763,"sku":"16012715453597757299","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18M \/ White","offer_id":52803200352531,"sku":"26878166620974016977","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"24M \/ White","offer_id":52803200385299,"sku":"57379404967900612821","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/total-success-baby-bodysuit-political-parody-edition-by-epials-shop-5768458.jpg?v=1789596438"},{"product_id":"total-success-baby-beanie-political-parody-edition","title":"Total Success Baby Beanie – Political Parody Edition","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"233\" data-end=\"260\"\u003e👶 Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"261\" data-end=\"616\"\u003eSoft, stretchy, and officially unofficial, this baby beanie adds a playful dose of political parody to everyday newborn wear. Featuring a presidential-inspired crest printed on both sides, the design frames a tiny leader silhouette with stars and laurel leaves, topped off with the boldly confident phrase: \u003cstrong data-start=\"568\" data-end=\"616\"\u003e“TOTAL SUCCESS. TREMENDOUS! PERFECTLY DONE.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"618\" data-end=\"975\"\u003eLightweight and breathable, this cap is made to stay comfortably in place through wiggles, naps, and photo ops. The smooth interlock rib knit offers gentle stretch without pressure, keeping little heads cozy while still feeling soft against delicate skin. Printed on both sides for a reversible look, it’s equal parts warm, whimsical, and quietly hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"1104\"\u003ePerfect for casual days at home, baby announcements, or gifting to families who appreciate a little satire with their snuggles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1111\" data-end=\"1134\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1135\" data-end=\"1449\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1135\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1137\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and quick drying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1186\" data-end=\"1245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1245\"\u003eInterlock rib knit for a smooth feel and gentle stretch\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1246\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1248\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eMedium-weight fabric (6.0 oz\/yd²) that’s breathable yet cozy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1311\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1313\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003eSame design printed on both sides for reversible wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1369\" data-end=\"1449\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1449\"\u003eOne size fits newborns; pre-constructed seams may affect full-bleed coverage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1451\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1598\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1539\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1524\" data-end=\"1539\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1540\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1542\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1562\" data-end=\"1577\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1564\" data-end=\"1577\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1578\" data-end=\"1598\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1580\" data-end=\"1598\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":52803207332115,"sku":"18941558515023586537","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/total-success-baby-beanie-political-parody-edition-by-epials-shop-4300012.jpg?v=1789596371"},{"product_id":"the-best-necktie-faux-seal-political-parody-red","title":"The Best Necktie – Faux Seal Political Parody (Red)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"73\"\u003eLoud. Certain. Completely unbothered by facts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"379\"\u003eThis slim red satin tie doesn’t just make a statement, it declares it, stamps it, and moves on. Featuring a faux presidential-style seal near the tip, it leans all the way into the performance of authority, the kind that looks official enough to make people pause and bold enough to make them look twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"469\"\u003eIt’s satire with a straight face. Confident, a little ridiculous, and fully aware of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"471\" data-end=\"733\"\u003eThe rich red base brings classic power-tie energy, while the slim cut keeps it sharp and current. The satin finish adds just enough sheen to catch the light without begging for attention, and the lightweight feel means it knots easily and stays put without fuss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"735\" data-end=\"772\"\u003eThis is not subtle. That’s the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"796\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"794\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"1121\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4xnujt\" data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"851\"\u003e100% polyester for durability and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kq195n\" data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"902\"\u003eSoft satin finish with a smooth, refined sheen\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"izip35\" data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"949\"\u003eLightweight fabric (3.10 oz\/yd² \/ 105 gsm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"kh9f5j\" data-start=\"950\" data-end=\"993\"\u003eOne-sided print with clean V-shaped end\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lwfq82\" data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"1036\"\u003eKeeper loop for a secure, polished fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1rstkob\" data-start=\"1037\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003eSlim, modern profile\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"142q1wr\" data-start=\"1062\" data-end=\"1079\"\u003eSewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1lahinz\" data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1121\"\u003eBlank product sourced internationally\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1148\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1n1aemz\" data-start=\"1148\" data-end=\"1163\"\u003eDo not wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1164\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"bmv6ke\" data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ppbe1v\" data-start=\"1204\" data-end=\"1239\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"jo92fq\" data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003eDry clean only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1270\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1318\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sv22b3\" data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003eLength: 55.91 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e2cct\" data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1318\"\u003eWidth: 1.57 – 3.94 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1320\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1320\" data-end=\"1352\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1571\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eThis tie is made to order just for you as soon as you place your order. That means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it also means less waste and no overproduction. Thoughtful choices, even when the tie isn’t.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52803268608275,"sku":"21228117075552164737","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/the-best-necktie-faux-seal-political-parody-red-by-epials-shop-4237209.jpg?v=1789596553"},{"product_id":"still-standing-eagle-men-s-high-top-sneakers","title":"Still Standing Eagle Men’s High-Top Sneakers","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"665\" data-start=\"266\"\u003eThese men’s high-top sneakers are built for steady footing and quiet resolve. The deep blue canvas sets a confident backdrop for the bold eagle graphic and subtle flag detail — a symbol of endurance that doesn’t need to shout. Designed for everyday wear, they balance visual impact with real comfort, featuring soft foamed lining and a cushioned memory foam insole that supports you step after step.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1054\" data-start=\"667\"\u003eDurable details like a pleather-covered round toe, reinforced rubber outsole, and metal eyelets make these shoes ready for regular rotation, while the full wraparound print creates a seamless, intentional look across the sides and tongue. Whether paired with jeans, joggers, or worn as a statement piece, these sneakers carry a message of strength, persistence, and standing your ground.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1059\" data-start=\"1056\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1086\" data-start=\"1061\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1084\" data-start=\"1064\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1494\" data-start=\"1087\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1164\" data-start=\"1087\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1164\" data-start=\"1089\"\u003e100% polyester canvas upper with soft foamed lining for broken-in comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1247\" data-start=\"1165\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1247\" data-start=\"1167\"\u003eEVA deodorant memory foam insole for cushioning, shock absorption, and support\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1313\" data-start=\"1248\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1313\" data-start=\"1250\"\u003ePleather-covered round toe for added durability and structure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1358\" data-start=\"1314\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1358\" data-start=\"1316\"\u003eDurable rubber outsole for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1424\" data-start=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1424\" data-start=\"1361\"\u003eSilver metal eyelets and PU leather accents for reinforcement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1494\" data-start=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1494\" data-start=\"1427\"\u003eFull wraparound print across sides and tongue for cohesive design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1499\" data-start=\"1496\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1527\" data-start=\"1501\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1525\" data-start=\"1504\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1720\" data-start=\"1528\"\u003eTo maintain cleanliness, use warm water with dish soap to gently clean dirt spots.\u003cbr data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1610\"\u003eIt’s not necessary to soak the entire shoe.\u003cbr data-end=\"1659\" data-start=\"1656\"\u003eFor tougher areas, use a soft-bristled brush.\u003cbr data-end=\"1707\" data-start=\"1704\"\u003eAir dry only.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1725\" data-start=\"1722\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1764\" data-start=\"1727\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1762\" data-start=\"1730\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2118\" data-start=\"1765\"\u003eThis product is made to order and produced by one of our international manufacturing partners. Because of this, production and shipping times may be longer than standard retail items. Each pair is crafted specifically for your order, helping reduce waste and overproduction. Thank you for your patience and support of small-batch, purpose-driven design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 13\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 14\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149617427,"sku":"59077008116445112105","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149650195,"sku":"27303036813176528224","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149682963,"sku":"23296220199368472474","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149715731,"sku":"33999325076686351094","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149748499,"sku":"83497389482526860007","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149781267,"sku":"12221595077620544188","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149814035,"sku":"28354342377553899608","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149846803,"sku":"64865684699895581657","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149879571,"sku":"38397342321356896728","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 13 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149912339,"sku":"10521267180171014759","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 14 \/ White sole","offer_id":52807149945107,"sku":"12204729591878991709","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/still-standing-eagle-mens-high-top-sneakers-by-epials-shop-2659534.jpg?v=1789596318"},{"product_id":"fake-news-embroidered-knit-beanie","title":"Fake News Embroidered Knit Beanie","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"241\" data-end=\"497\"\u003eThis cuffed knit beanie brings a bold, conversational edge to everyday wear. The classic 12\" cuff creates a clean frame for the embroidered \u003cstrong data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"396\"\u003e“Fake News”\u003c\/strong\u003e message, finished with a subtle stitched accent that adds just enough attitude without overdoing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"499\" data-end=\"877\"\u003eMade from soft, stretchy turbo acrylic, the beanie holds its shape while staying lightweight and warm. The embroidery is crisp and tactile, designed to stand up to repeated wear and plenty of double-takes. Hypoallergenic fabric makes it comfortable for all-day use, whether you’re heading out on a cold morning commute, grabbing coffee, or stepping into a spirited conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"996\"\u003eIt’s familiar, sturdy, and unapologetically expressive — the kind of hat that says plenty without raising your voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"998\" data-end=\"1001\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1003\" data-end=\"1026\"\u003e✨ PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1027\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1027\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1029\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e12\" cuffed beanie with stretchy, one-size adult fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1156\"\u003eHigh-quality embroidered front design for lasting texture and clarity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1157\" data-end=\"1222\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1159\" data-end=\"1222\"\u003e100% turbo acrylic for lightweight warmth and shape retention\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1223\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003eHypoallergenic knit — comfortable for sensitive skin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1280\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1282\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003eClassic, everyday style that layers easily with coats and hoodies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1351\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1381\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1432\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1384\" data-end=\"1432\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1435\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003eDo not soak entire beanie\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1465\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1512\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1514\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003eAir dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Uncuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Cuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.25 - 18.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":52817814290707,"sku":"44248792443872519712","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Brown","offer_id":52817814323475,"sku":"10722760829244438694","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":52817814356243,"sku":"28652295459125217603","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Navy","offer_id":52817814389011,"sku":"52990461614408666280","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Red","offer_id":52817814421779,"sku":"53596295790192026400","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Royal","offer_id":52817814454547,"sku":"11842504045468120041","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/fake-news-embroidered-knit-beanie-by-epials-shop-5138476.jpg?v=1789596441"},{"product_id":"certified-six-seven-one-piece-swimsuit","title":"Certified Six–Seven – One-Piece Swimsuit","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"498\" data-start=\"262\"\u003eSlide into a one-piece that feels deliberate and bold without trying too hard. This swimsuit features a sleek black base scattered with repeating emblem-style graphics — confident, graphic, and instantly recognizable without being loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"858\" data-start=\"500\"\u003eThe classic U-shaped neckline in both the front and back keeps the silhouette clean and flattering, while lightweight, stretchy fabric moves easily in and out of the water. An inner elastic band provides added chest support, and elastic-trimmed edges help the suit stay comfortably in place whether you’re swimming laps, floating, or stretching out poolside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1006\" data-start=\"860\"\u003eThe fit runs \u003cstrong data-end=\"891\" data-start=\"873\"\u003esnug by design\u003c\/strong\u003e, offering a sculpted, secure feel. If you’re between sizes or prefer a more relaxed fit, sizing up is recommended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1187\" data-start=\"1008\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-end=\"1038\" data-start=\"1021\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e, helping reduce waste while ensuring each piece is produced specifically for you. Delivery times may be longer than standard ready-to-ship swimwear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1192\" data-start=\"1189\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1217\" data-start=\"1194\"\u003e✨ PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1551\" data-start=\"1218\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1267\" data-start=\"1218\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1267\" data-start=\"1220\"\u003eInner elastic band for improved chest support\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1317\" data-start=\"1268\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1317\" data-start=\"1270\"\u003eVivid, fade-resistant all-over printed design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1376\" data-start=\"1318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1376\" data-start=\"1320\"\u003e85% polyester \/ 15% spandex for stretch and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1422\" data-start=\"1377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1422\" data-start=\"1379\"\u003eLightweight fabric with quick-dry comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1459\" data-start=\"1423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1459\" data-start=\"1425\"\u003eU-shaped front and back neckline\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1512\" data-start=\"1460\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1512\" data-start=\"1462\"\u003eElastic-trimmed edges for a secure, stay-put fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1551\" data-start=\"1513\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1551\" data-start=\"1515\"\u003eSnug fit for a sculpted silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1556\" data-start=\"1553\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1579\" data-start=\"1558\"\u003e🚚 SHIPPING NOTE\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1750\" data-start=\"1580\"\u003eThis swimsuit is made to order by an international partner. Please allow additional production and delivery time compared to ready-to-ship items. Tracking will be provided once your order ships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1755\" data-start=\"1752\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1782\" data-start=\"1757\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1911\" data-start=\"1783\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1823\" data-start=\"1783\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1823\" data-start=\"1785\"\u003eMachine wash warm (max 40°C \/ 105°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1836\" data-start=\"1824\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1836\" data-start=\"1826\"\u003eDry flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1872\" data-start=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1872\" data-start=\"1839\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1890\" data-start=\"1873\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1890\" data-start=\"1875\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1911\" data-start=\"1891\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1911\" data-start=\"1893\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth at armpits, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e13.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWaist width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e13.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHip width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSide length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength across front, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.05\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52825153929491,"sku":"13537997027212046653","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52825153962259,"sku":"16232489975922708895","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52825153995027,"sku":"25572906057401288297","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52825154027795,"sku":"25662032189747594464","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52825154060563,"sku":"11016888714834484116","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52825154093331,"sku":"17802109537300504781","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52825154126099,"sku":"45003698240138392646","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/certified-six-seven-one-piece-swimsuit-by-epials-shop-5673611.jpg?v=1789596555"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-cuffed-knit-beanie","title":"Adulting, Like You Wouldn’t Believe – Cuffed Knit Beanie","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"161\" data-end=\"399\"\u003eThis classic cuffed knit beanie brings just the right amount of humor to cold mornings and long days. Made from lightweight yet warm acrylic, it stretches comfortably for a flexible, everyday fit while holding its shape wear after wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"401\" data-end=\"661\"\u003eThe embroidered front design reads \u003cstrong data-start=\"436\" data-end=\"478\"\u003e“ADULTING, like you wouldn’t believe.”\u003c\/strong\u003e Clean, bold stitching gives the phrase a tactile finish that feels intentional, not loud — a quiet nod to the fact that you’re doing your best, even when it doesn’t feel glamorous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"663\" data-end=\"797\"\u003eEasy to style and easy to wear, this beanie works for errands, outdoor events, travel days, or anytime adulting requires extra layers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"799\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"804\" data-end=\"828\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"888\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"888\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"857\"\u003e12\" cuffed knit beanie\u003c\/strong\u003e for a classic, adaptable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"953\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"953\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"927\"\u003eDurable embroidered front design\u003c\/strong\u003e with textured stitching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"954\" data-end=\"1023\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"956\" data-end=\"1023\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"956\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e100% turbo acrylic\u003c\/strong\u003e for lightweight warmth and shape retention\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1081\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1026\" data-end=\"1081\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1026\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003eHypoallergenic fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e suitable for sensitive skin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1112\"\u003eAdult one-size-fits-most\u003c\/strong\u003e with comfortable stretch\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1140\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1142\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003eMade with \u003cstrong data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003esafety-compliant materials\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1184\" data-end=\"1187\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1215\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1266\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1266\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1267\" data-end=\"1300\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1300\"\u003eDo not soak the entire beanie\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1301\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1303\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for tougher spots\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Uncuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Cuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.25 - 18.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":52827404501267,"sku":"49557185324794296482","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Brown","offer_id":52827404534035,"sku":"32948455742873139442","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":52827404566803,"sku":"19622862639896405209","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Navy","offer_id":52827404599571,"sku":"79178621364173536962","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Royal","offer_id":52827404632339,"sku":"18451235267676924517","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/adulting-like-you-wouldnt-believe-cuffed-knit-beanie-by-epials-shop-6966432.jpg?v=1789596501"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-fleece-sweatpants","title":"Adulting Like You Wouldn’t Believe Fleece Sweatpants","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"643\"\u003eThese garment-dyed fleece sweatpants are built for peak off-duty excellence. Soft, broken-in, and intentionally understated, they deliver lived-in comfort with a wink of personality. The muted olive tone feels calm and grounded, while the vertical, slightly distressed graphic running down one leg reads like a quiet declaration: \u003cem data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"643\"\u003eyes, this counts as adulting.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"645\" data-end=\"957\"\u003eThe relaxed fit keeps things easy without looking sloppy, and the medium-weight fleece makes them a year-round staple. Drawstring waist and cuffed ankles keep the silhouette tidy whether you’re headed out for coffee, settling in for a long day at home, or accomplishing the bold task of doing absolutely nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"1084\"\u003eThey’re the kind of sweatpants that feel better the more you wear them — effortless, unfussy, and fully committed to comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1086\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1091\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1094\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1115\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1115\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1117\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003e100% ring-spun cotton for a smooth, durable feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1239\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1170\" data-end=\"1239\"\u003eGarment-dyed after construction for soft color and lived-in texture\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1317\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1317\"\u003eMedium-weight fleece (6.5 oz\/yd² \/ 220 g\/m²) suitable for year-round wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1318\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1320\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003eRelaxed fit with side seams for natural movement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1373\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003eAdjustable drawstring waistband and cuffed ankles for comfortable structure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1451\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1453\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003eMade in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1475\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003ePart of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1517\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1586\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1586\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1587\" data-end=\"1605\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1589\" data-end=\"1605\"\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1606\" data-end=\"1644\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1608\" data-end=\"1644\"\u003eIron, steam, or dry on medium heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1678\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1678\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1679\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1681\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWaist width, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eInseam, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"L \/ Pepper","offer_id":52836419830035,"sku":"23814220157657427084","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pepper","offer_id":52836419862803,"sku":"17896483295627675973","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Jean","offer_id":52836419895571,"sku":"17003909296450962627","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Ivory","offer_id":52836419928339,"sku":"27912160852537768227","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/adulting-like-you-wouldnt-believe-fleece-sweatpants-by-epials-shop-2725172.jpg?v=1789596439"},{"product_id":"unofficial-seal-weekender-bag-political-parody-carryall","title":"Unofficial Seal Weekender Bag – Political Parody Carryall","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"262\" data-end=\"289\"\u003e📝 PRODUCT DESCRIPTION\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"290\" data-end=\"988\"\u003eThis structured weekender bag turns quiet satire into a carry-on statement. Featuring a bold, fake-official seal graphic with a familiar bombastic silhouette at its center, the design leans into authority aesthetics without saying a single word. Clean, monochrome, and deliberately over-serious, it reads like something stamped, approved, and waved through—whether or not it should have been. The spacious T-bottom interior makes room for weekend essentials, overnight plans, or whatever you’re packing for the next departure, while cream rope handles and gold-tone grommets give it an unexpectedly polished finish. It’s political parody done in deadpan form: confident, wordless, and unmistakable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"993\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"1018\"\u003e⭐ PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1081\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1081\"\u003eDurable 100% spun polyester exterior that resists wrinkles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003eComfortable 27\" cream cotton rope handles with gold-color grommets\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1153\" data-end=\"1230\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1230\"\u003eSpacious one-size design (24\" × 13\") with T-bottom for structured packing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1303\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1303\"\u003eCream 50\/50 cotton-poly interior lining for a soft, visible interior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1304\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1306\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1357\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003eSize tolerance ±0.75\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1385\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1387\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1632\"\u003eBefore cleaning, remove all items from the bag. Pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and gently clean using a terry washcloth or soft-bristle brush. Allow the bag to air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24\" × 13\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52847754772755,"sku":"25801501925446460281","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/unofficial-seal-weekender-bag-political-parody-carryall-by-epials-shop-3398755.jpg?v=1789596555"},{"product_id":"unofficial-seal-duffel-bag-political-parody-travel-bag-small-large","title":"Unofficial Seal Duffel Bag – Political Parody Travel Bag (Small \u0026 Large)","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"315\"\u003ePRODUCT DESCRIPTION\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"1009\"\u003eThis duffel bag carries the same bold, wordless political parody seal as the weekender—official in appearance, questionable in authority. The faux-government emblem with its unmistakable silhouette turns a classic travel staple into a deadpan statement piece. Designed for everything from quick overnights to longer getaways, the structured Oxford canvas holds its shape while offering practical storage inside and out. With a secure double-zip main compartment, interior zip pocket, and an adjustable shoulder strap, this bag balances function with satire. Available in two sizes, it’s ideal for those who prefer their travel gear understated, intentional, and quietly loaded with commentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1011\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003ePRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1042\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003eDurable 100% polyester Oxford canvas that retains shape and dries quickly\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1189\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1189\"\u003eMain compartment with double zipper closure for secure, easy access\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1190\" data-end=\"1266\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1266\"\u003eInternal zip pocket with sewn-in name tag plus exterior mesh side pocket\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1267\" data-end=\"1365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1365\"\u003eRemovable, adjustable 1.5\" shoulder strap with padded shoulder pad and brushed nickel hardware\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"1381\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"1395\" data-end=\"1404\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/strong\u003e sizes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1465\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1415\" data-end=\"1465\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1466\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1468\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003eSize tolerance ±0.5\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1495\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003eCARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1521\" data-end=\"1536\"\u003eDry clean only.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1538\" data-end=\"1541\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1543\" data-end=\"1563\"\u003eSIZE OPTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1564\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1564\" data-end=\"1646\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1566\" data-end=\"1646\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1566\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003eSmall Duffel\u003c\/strong\u003e – Ideal for gym sessions, overnight trips, or carry-on travel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1649\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1649\" data-end=\"1665\"\u003eLarge Duffel\u003c\/strong\u003e – Designed for weekend getaways, longer trips, or shared packing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eMain strap length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle width , in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":52847803400467,"sku":"36141285662072704602","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":52847803433235,"sku":"52045930944220945653","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/unofficial-seal-duffel-bag-political-parody-travel-bag-small-large-by-epials-shop-5227300.jpg?v=1789596382"},{"product_id":"believe-me-women-s-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes","title":"Believe Me Women’s High-Top Sneakers – Political Parody Statement Shoes","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"237\" data-end=\"265\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"240\" data-end=\"263\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"266\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eThese women’s high-top sneakers put a wink where most shoes stay quiet. Set against a classic black canvas, the distressed “Believe Me” authorized-seal graphic reads like a tongue-in-cheek emblem of confidence, conviction, and cultural commentary. The high-top silhouette adds a timeless edge, while the lightweight construction keeps them comfortable for everyday wear—whether you’re walking downtown, heading to a rally (of any kind), or just making a statement without saying a word. Finished with durable stitching, a cushioned insole, and a clean rubber sole, these sneakers balance streetwear style with sharp political parody. Wear them when you want your footwear to quietly smirk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"960\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"987\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"985\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003eDurable canvas upper with crisp, high-resolution printed graphic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1057\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1059\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003eClassic women’s high-top silhouette with lace-up closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1158\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1158\"\u003eCushioned insole for all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1159\" data-end=\"1202\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1161\" data-end=\"1202\"\u003eSturdy rubber outsole for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1203\" data-end=\"1264\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1264\"\u003eBlack exterior with white stitching and sole for contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1265\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1267\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003eDesigned for casual wear, street style, and statement outfits\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1332\" data-end=\"1335\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1410\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1410\"\u003eSpot clean with a soft cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1411\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003eDo not machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1435\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1437\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1452\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1454\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003eAvoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight to preserve print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1569\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1535\" data-end=\"1567\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1570\" data-end=\"1850\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1583\" data-end=\"1600\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-start=\"1628\" data-end=\"1668\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-start=\"1761\" data-end=\"1780\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This helps reduce waste and ensures every item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1852\" data-end=\"1855\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1857\" data-end=\"1876\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1860\" data-end=\"1874\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1877\" data-end=\"2039\"\u003eThis product is a work of \u003cstrong data-start=\"1903\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147192083,"sku":"18282649959439226191","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147224851,"sku":"24644177442797969054","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147257619,"sku":"19549827553229307910","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147290387,"sku":"13144547674694535730","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147323155,"sku":"13990941331098982440","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147355923,"sku":"67637550517603063305","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147388691,"sku":"22442240751212200334","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147421459,"sku":"63480079134309316290","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852147454227,"sku":"33865273575404585551","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/believe-me-womens-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes-by-epials-shop-2673163.jpg?v=1789595899"},{"product_id":"believe-me-men-s-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes","title":"Believe Me Men’s High-Top Sneakers – Political Parody Statement Shoes","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"298\" data-start=\"270\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"296\" data-start=\"273\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"959\" data-start=\"299\"\u003eThese men’s high-top sneakers deliver a quiet punch of political parody wrapped in a classic streetwear silhouette. The black canvas upper features the distressed “Believe Me” authorized-seal graphic, designed to read like an official emblem while clearly winking at the absurd. Clean white stitching and a crisp rubber sole keep the look timeless, while the high-top cut adds structure and edge. Comfortable enough for everyday wear and bold enough to spark a double take, these sneakers are made for anyone who appreciates satire that doesn’t shout—but definitely speaks. A subtle statement for walks, weekends, errands, and anywhere irony feels appropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"964\" data-start=\"961\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"991\" data-start=\"966\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"989\" data-start=\"969\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1348\" data-start=\"992\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1053\" data-start=\"992\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1053\" data-start=\"994\"\u003eDurable canvas upper with high-resolution printed graphic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1112\" data-start=\"1054\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1112\" data-start=\"1056\"\u003eClassic men’s high-top silhouette with lace-up closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1165\" data-start=\"1113\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1165\" data-start=\"1115\"\u003eCushioned insole for comfort during all-day wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1219\" data-start=\"1166\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1219\" data-start=\"1168\"\u003eSturdy rubber outsole for traction and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1284\" data-start=\"1220\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1284\" data-start=\"1222\"\u003eBlack exterior with white stitching and toe cap for contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1348\" data-start=\"1285\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1348\" data-start=\"1287\"\u003eDesigned for casual wear, street style, and statement looks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1353\" data-start=\"1350\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1381\" data-start=\"1355\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1379\" data-start=\"1358\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1543\" data-start=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1428\" data-start=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1428\" data-start=\"1384\"\u003eSpot clean with a soft cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1452\" data-start=\"1429\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1452\" data-start=\"1431\"\u003eDo not machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1469\" data-start=\"1453\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1469\" data-start=\"1455\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1543\" data-start=\"1470\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1543\" data-start=\"1472\"\u003eAvoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight to preserve print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1548\" data-start=\"1545\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1587\" data-start=\"1550\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1585\" data-start=\"1553\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1890\" data-start=\"1588\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-end=\"1618\" data-start=\"1601\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-end=\"1686\" data-start=\"1646\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-end=\"1798\" data-start=\"1779\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This made-to-order process helps reduce waste and ensures every item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1895\" data-start=\"1892\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1916\" data-start=\"1897\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1914\" data-start=\"1900\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2079\" data-start=\"1917\"\u003eThis product is a work of \u003cstrong data-end=\"1974\" data-start=\"1943\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 13\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 14\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149387539,"sku":"27158057552990340744","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149420307,"sku":"91636021001201893608","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149453075,"sku":"31520082753194354578","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149485843,"sku":"21089690641349493067","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149518611,"sku":"15759050886086573506","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149551379,"sku":"26822899394680956940","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149584147,"sku":"12209418071279070681","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149616915,"sku":"18177352783484059163","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149649683,"sku":"12988838101067388622","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 13 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149682451,"sku":"28325379532734029261","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 14 \/ White sole","offer_id":52852149715219,"sku":"15208992481886088775","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/believe-me-mens-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes-by-epials-shop-8986560.jpg?v=1789595958"},{"product_id":"believe-me-political-parody-crew-socks-67-edition","title":"Believe Me Political Parody Crew Socks – 67 Edition","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"275\" data-end=\"303\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"278\" data-end=\"301\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003eThese crew-length socks bring low-volume confidence to everyday wear. Designed in classic black with a subtle, stamped-style political parody seal, they read like an inside joke rather than a shout. Soft fleece lines the footbed for warmth and comfort, while cushioned soles absorb the small shocks of daily life—commuting, walking, standing, or pacing while muttering under your breath. The all-over sublimation print wraps the sock so the design peeks just above shoes and under pant cuffs, right where it belongs. Finished with a ribbed tube and a stretchy polyester-spandex blend, these socks stay put without squeezing. Comfort-forward, quietly opinionated, and easy to wear anywhere irony is welcome. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1017\" data-end=\"1042\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1040\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1094\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1045\" data-end=\"1094\"\u003eFleece-lined foot for added warmth and softness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003eAll-over sublimation print wrapping the entire sock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1202\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1153\" data-end=\"1202\"\u003eCrew length for calf coverage and everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1203\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003eCushioned bottoms for comfort during long hours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1257\" data-end=\"1318\"\u003e95% polyester \/ 5% spandex blend for stretch and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1319\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1321\" data-end=\"1362\"\u003eRibbed tube provides a snug, unisex fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003eNote: Minor seam color variations may occur where print panels meet. This is a normal result of flat sublimation printing and does not affect wearability.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1551\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1661\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1556\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1594\" data-end=\"1606\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1596\" data-end=\"1606\"\u003eDry flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1624\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1609\" data-end=\"1624\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1625\" data-end=\"1640\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1627\" data-end=\"1640\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1641\" data-end=\"1661\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1643\" data-end=\"1661\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1663\" data-end=\"1666\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1668\" data-end=\"1705\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1671\" data-end=\"1703\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1706\" data-end=\"2007\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1719\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-start=\"1764\" data-end=\"1804\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-start=\"1897\" data-end=\"1916\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This made-to-order process helps reduce waste and ensures each item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2009\" data-end=\"2012\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2014\" data-end=\"2033\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2017\" data-end=\"2031\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2034\" data-end=\"2198\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"2062\" data-end=\"2093\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eTotal Length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.14\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWomen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6 - 8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.5 - 11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.5 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eMen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5 - 6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7 - 9.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":52856050090259,"sku":"18448179288285074423","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":52856050123027,"sku":"15517617444708500584","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":52856050155795,"sku":"13471170983017913514","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/believe-me-political-parody-crew-socks-67-edition-by-epials-shop-3856284.jpg?v=1789595843"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-political-parody-crew-socks","title":"Adulting Like You Wouldn’t Believe Political Parody Crew Socks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"286\" data-end=\"314\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"312\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"315\" data-end=\"1060\"\u003eThese blue crew socks capture the quiet exhaustion of modern responsibility with a straight face and a dry sense of humor. Featuring the phrase \u003cem data-start=\"459\" data-end=\"498\"\u003e“Adulting Like You Wouldn’t Believe,”\u003c\/em\u003e the design reads like an official badge of competence—whether earned or merely implied. Soft fleece lines the foot for warmth and comfort, while cushioned soles take the edge off long days filled with errands, meetings, or pretending you know what you’re doing. The all-over sublimation print wraps the sock so the message peeks above shoes and under pant cuffs, right where fellow adults will notice. Finished with a ribbed tube and a flexible polyester-spandex blend, these socks stay put without squeezing. Equal parts irony, comfort, and low-key commentary. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1062\" data-end=\"1065\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1070\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1093\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1093\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003eFleece-lined foot for added warmth and softness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1213\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1147\" data-end=\"1213\"\u003eAll-over sublimation print with bold political-parody typography\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003eCrew length for calf coverage and everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1266\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1268\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003eCushioned bottoms for comfort during extended wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1321\" data-end=\"1384\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1384\"\u003e95% polyester \/ 5% spandex blend for stretch and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1385\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1387\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eRibbed tube for a secure, unisex fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1427\" data-end=\"1583\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1427\" data-end=\"1583\"\u003eNote: Minor seam color variations may occur where print panels meet. This is a normal result of flat sublimation printing and does not affect wearability.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1585\" data-end=\"1588\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1593\" data-end=\"1614\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1724\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1619\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1657\" data-end=\"1669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1669\"\u003eDry flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1670\" data-end=\"1687\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1672\" data-end=\"1687\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1688\" data-end=\"1703\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1690\" data-end=\"1703\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1704\" data-end=\"1724\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1706\" data-end=\"1724\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1729\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1734\" data-end=\"1766\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1769\" data-end=\"2070\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1782\" data-end=\"1799\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-start=\"1827\" data-end=\"1867\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-start=\"1960\" data-end=\"1979\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This made-to-order process helps reduce waste and ensures each item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2072\" data-end=\"2075\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2077\" data-end=\"2096\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2094\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2097\" data-end=\"2261\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eTotal Length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.14\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWomen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6 - 8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.5 - 11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.5 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eMen's US size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5 - 6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7 - 9.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10 - 13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":52856062050579,"sku":"33694514238506749210","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":52856062083347,"sku":"19614371990373895909","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":52856062116115,"sku":"16713410138449724079","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/adulting-like-you-wouldnt-believe-political-parody-crew-socks-by-epials-shop-6255916.jpg?v=1789596082"},{"product_id":"executive-hairline-women-s-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes","title":"Executive Hairline Women’s High-Top Sneakers – Political Parody Statement Shoes","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"332\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"307\" data-end=\"330\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"333\" data-end=\"946\"\u003eThese women’s high-top sneakers turn a familiar silhouette into unmistakable satire. Set against a bold blue canvas, the minimalist graphic nods to a very recognizable hairstyle and tie—no face, no name, just enough to make the joke land. The design is clean, clever, and instantly readable to anyone paying attention. Built on a classic high-top profile, these sneakers offer everyday comfort with a cushioned insole, durable stitching, and a crisp rubber sole. Easy to wear, easy to pair, and impossible to miss, they’re made for errands, casual outings, and moments when subtle parody speaks louder than words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"948\" data-end=\"951\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"953\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"956\" data-end=\"976\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"1016\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"981\" data-end=\"1016\"\u003eDurable canvas upper in bold blue\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1017\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003eClassic women’s high-top silhouette with lace-up closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1118\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1118\"\u003eCushioned insole for all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1121\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003eSturdy rubber outsole for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1214\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1214\"\u003eWhite toe cap, stitching, and sole for contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003eMinimalist political parody graphic for a clean, modern look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1281\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1289\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1313\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1313\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1315\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003eSpot clean with a soft cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1360\" data-end=\"1383\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1383\"\u003eDo not machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1384\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1386\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1401\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1403\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003eAvoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight to preserve print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1479\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1481\" data-end=\"1518\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1516\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1519\" data-end=\"1821\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-start=\"1577\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-start=\"1710\" data-end=\"1729\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This made-to-order process helps reduce waste and ensures every item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1823\" data-end=\"1826\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1828\" data-end=\"1847\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1831\" data-end=\"1845\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1848\" data-end=\"2012\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"1876\" data-end=\"1907\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797438739,"sku":"32704249241196038721","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797471507,"sku":"20848341775273645972","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797504275,"sku":"33647408154737409126","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797537043,"sku":"22606302288991288024","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797569811,"sku":"30743032724556265207","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797602579,"sku":"23889712159482519181","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797635347,"sku":"20162411170365963289","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797668115,"sku":"14902021573133412685","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859797700883,"sku":"23425828724651604640","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/executive-hairline-womens-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes-by-epials-shop-9158696.jpg?v=1789596080"},{"product_id":"executive-hairline-men-s-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes","title":"Executive Hairline Men’s High-Top Sneakers – Political Parody Statement Shoes","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"249\" data-end=\"277\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"275\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"278\" data-end=\"849\"\u003eThese men’s high-top sneakers deliver political parody with restraint and precision. Set on a bold blue canvas, the minimalist graphic hints at a very recognizable hairstyle and tie—no face, no name, just enough detail to let the joke do the work. It’s satire without shouting, designed for those who appreciate clever understatement. Built on a classic high-top silhouette, these sneakers feature a cushioned insole, durable stitching, and a crisp rubber sole for everyday comfort. Ideal for casual wear, errands, or any setting where quiet commentary feels appropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"851\" data-end=\"854\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"856\" data-end=\"881\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"859\" data-end=\"879\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"882\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"882\" data-end=\"919\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"884\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eDurable canvas upper in bold blue\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"922\" data-end=\"978\"\u003eClassic men’s high-top silhouette with lace-up closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"1019\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"981\" data-end=\"1019\"\u003eCushioned insole for all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1063\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1022\" data-end=\"1063\"\u003eSturdy rubber outsole for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1064\" data-end=\"1115\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1066\" data-end=\"1115\"\u003eWhite toe cap, stitching, and sole for contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003eMinimalist political parody graphic for a clean, modern look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1213\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1190\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1260\"\u003eSpot clean with a soft cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1261\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eDo not machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1285\" data-end=\"1301\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1287\" data-end=\"1301\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1304\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003eAvoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight to preserve print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1377\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1419\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1385\" data-end=\"1417\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1420\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003eThis item is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our \u003cstrong data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1518\"\u003einternational manufacturing partners\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because each pair is created specifically for your order, production and shipping may take \u003cstrong data-start=\"1611\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003eup to two weeks\u003c\/strong\u003e. This made-to-order process helps reduce waste and ensures every item is made just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1724\" data-end=\"1727\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1729\" data-end=\"1748\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1732\" data-end=\"1746\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1749\" data-end=\"1913\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"1777\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 13\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 14\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798454547,"sku":"12201869137829549302","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798487315,"sku":"64998999341681876860","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798520083,"sku":"20914270579869756116","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798552851,"sku":"20663590031607980582","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798585619,"sku":"25020794247764882142","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798618387,"sku":"21736662406552299153","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798651155,"sku":"11793944620383478762","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798683923,"sku":"59417204074287354312","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798716691,"sku":"10023462829535320236","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 13 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798749459,"sku":"30941781836533139512","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 14 \/ White sole","offer_id":52859798782227,"sku":"21802476863543016109","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/executive-hairline-mens-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes-by-epials-shop-6604876.jpg?v=1789595959"},{"product_id":"democrazy-cuffed-beanie-political-satire-knit-hat","title":"Democrazy Cuffed Beanie – Political Satire Knit Hat","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"258\" data-end=\"286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"261\" data-end=\"284\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"287\" data-end=\"684\"\u003eThis classic cuffed beanie pairs everyday comfort with sharp political wit. Embroidered with the word \u003cstrong data-start=\"389\" data-end=\"405\"\u003e“Democrazy,”\u003c\/strong\u003e the design blends \u003cem data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"435\"\u003edemocracy\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"447\"\u003ecrazy\u003c\/em\u003e into a single, expressive statement — a nod to the passion, frustration, noise, and unpredictability that often surround modern civic life. It’s not a slogan with instructions; it’s a reflection, open to interpretation and conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003eMade from soft, durable turbo acrylic, this beanie offers lightweight warmth and a comfortable, one-size-fits-most stretch. The structured cuff keeps its shape while the clean embroidery adds just enough edge without shouting. Wear it to spark discussion, signal humor, or quietly acknowledge the absurd moments we all recognize.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1017\" data-end=\"1225\"\u003eThis beanie is made to order, created specifically for you after purchase. Producing items on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction — thank you for supporting thoughtful, intentional shopping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1227\" data-end=\"1230\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1232\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1313\"\u003e12\" cuffed design for a structured, comfortable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1314\" data-end=\"1365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1316\" data-end=\"1365\"\u003eEmbroidered “Democrazy” text for lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1431\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1431\"\u003e100% turbo acrylic knit for lightweight warmth and durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1432\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003eHypoallergenic material suitable for sensitive skin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003eOne size fits most adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1520\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003eBlank product sourced from Vietnam, Bangladesh, or Korea\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1580\" data-end=\"1583\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1585\" data-end=\"1611\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1588\" data-end=\"1609\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1612\" data-end=\"1742\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1612\" data-end=\"1662\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1614\" data-end=\"1662\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1663\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1665\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn spots\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1712\" data-end=\"1742\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1742\"\u003eDo not soak the entire hat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Uncuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength (Cuffed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; 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Others… evolve. \u003cstrong data-end=\"423\" data-start=\"398\"\u003eIn Biggitude We Trust\u003c\/strong\u003e is a sharp, minimalist nod to the modern belief that confidence, scale, and repetition can substitute for substance. It’s political satire distilled into a single phrase—familiar, exaggerated, and unmistakably pointed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"972\" data-start=\"644\"\u003eThis relaxed, low-profile dad hat delivers the message without theatrics. Clean embroidery keeps the look understated while the meaning lands exactly where it’s supposed to. Comfortable enough for everyday wear and clever enough to reward a second glance, it’s made for those who prefer their commentary subtle but unmistakable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"977\" data-start=\"974\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"998\" data-start=\"979\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"996\" data-start=\"982\"\u003eDefinition\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1126\" data-start=\"999\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1012\" data-start=\"999\"\u003eBiggitude\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem data-end=\"1021\" data-start=\"1013\"\u003e(noun)\u003c\/em\u003e — The quality of being impressively large, emphatically stated, and confidently repeated until believed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1131\" data-start=\"1128\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1158\" data-start=\"1133\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1156\" data-start=\"1136\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1585\" data-start=\"1159\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1219\" data-start=\"1159\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1219\" data-start=\"1161\"\u003eUnstructured 6-panel body for a relaxed, comfortable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1294\" data-start=\"1220\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1294\" data-start=\"1222\"\u003ePrecurved Permacurv® visor with matching underbill and 4-row stitching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1295\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1297\"\u003eAdjustable self-fabric hideaway strap with antique brass buckle and grommet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1451\" data-start=\"1375\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1451\" data-start=\"1377\"\u003e100% cotton shell\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1484\" data-start=\"1452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1484\" data-start=\"1454\"\u003eSewn-in label for durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1545\" data-start=\"1485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1545\" data-start=\"1487\"\u003eBrand sticker on visor and small embroidered logo detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1585\" data-start=\"1546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1585\" data-start=\"1548\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-end=\"1585\" data-start=\"1561\"\u003eBlack, Red, and Navy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1590\" data-start=\"1587\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1618\" data-start=\"1592\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1616\" data-start=\"1595\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1749\" data-start=\"1619\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1669\" data-start=\"1619\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1669\" data-start=\"1621\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1718\" data-start=\"1670\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1718\" data-start=\"1672\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1749\" data-start=\"1719\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1749\" data-start=\"1721\"\u003eDo not soak the entire hat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1754\" data-start=\"1751\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1793\" data-start=\"1756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1791\" data-start=\"1759\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2069\" data-start=\"1794\"\u003eThis hat is made to order and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Because each item is created specifically for your order, production and shipping times may vary slightly. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is crafted just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2074\" data-start=\"2071\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2095\" data-start=\"2076\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2093\" data-start=\"2079\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2275\" data-start=\"2096\"\u003eThis product is intended as political satire and parody. All humor is expressive commentary and not affiliated with or endorsed by any political candidate, party, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":52868979556627,"sku":"23185002221049981634","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":52868979589395,"sku":"29368410191831578551","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cranberry \/ One size","offer_id":52868905959699,"sku":"22726243524904309088","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/in-biggitude-we-trust-dad-hat-by-epials-shop-5044707.jpg?v=1789596022"},{"product_id":"certified-opinion-holder-dad-hat-very-official-political-parody","title":"Certified Opinion Holder Dad Hat – Very Official Political Parody","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"308\" data-end=\"335\"\u003e📝 Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"336\" data-end=\"396\"\u003eSome opinions are casual. Others are \u003cem data-start=\"373\" data-end=\"395\"\u003eofficially certified\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"398\" data-end=\"700\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"402\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eCertified Opinion Holder Dad Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers understated political parody with an embroidered seal that looks serious enough to demand respect and silly enough to invite conversation. Clean, classic, and quietly authoritative, this unstructured cap pairs everyday comfort with unmistakable satire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"702\" data-end=\"967\"\u003eMade from breathable cotton with a relaxed fit, it’s designed for errands, events, debates, and situations where your opinion has already been decided. The curved visor and adjustable strap keep things comfortable, while the embroidered emblem does all the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003eRelaxed fit. Official energy. Very certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1019\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1044\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1045\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1045\" data-end=\"1105\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1047\" data-end=\"1105\"\u003eUnstructured 6-panel body for a relaxed, comfortable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003ePrecurved Permacurv® visor with matching underbill and 4-row stitching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1260\"\u003eAdjustable self-fabric hideaway strap with antique brass buckle and grommet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1261\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e100% cotton shell for breathable, everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1313\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1315\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003eSewn-in label for durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1346\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1348\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003eBrand sticker on visor and small embroidered logo detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1438\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1569\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1441\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1538\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1538\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1539\" data-end=\"1569\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1541\" data-end=\"1569\"\u003eDo not soak the entire hat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1571\" data-end=\"1574\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1576\" data-end=\"1612\"\u003e📦 Production \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1613\" data-end=\"1902\"\u003eThis hat is made to order and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Because each item is created specifically for your order, slight variations in embroidery placement or finish may occur. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is crafted just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1907\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1909\" data-end=\"1927\"\u003e⚠️ Disclaimer\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1928\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"1956\" data-end=\"1987\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. All humor is expressive commentary and is \u003cstrong data-start=\"2031\" data-end=\"2117\"\u003enot affiliated with or endorsed by any political candidate, party, or organization\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":52875348869395,"sku":"12010671797461563113","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ One size","offer_id":52875348902163,"sku":"28793912420781805351","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":52875348934931,"sku":"23563917084722034023","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ One size","offer_id":52875348967699,"sku":"26109528817030876625","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":52875349000467,"sku":"36798991565420576245","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/certified-opinion-holder-dad-hat-very-official-political-parody-by-epials-shop-2490183.jpg?v=1789595840"},{"product_id":"very-official-contents-approved-duffel-bag-political-parody-travel-bag","title":"Very Official Contents Approved Duffel Bag | Political Parody Travel Bag","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"351\" data-start=\"324\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"405\" data-start=\"352\"\u003eThis bag has been reviewed.\u003cbr data-end=\"382\" data-start=\"379\"\u003eThe contents? Approved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"697\" data-start=\"407\"\u003eFeaturing an official-style seal that reads \u003cstrong data-end=\"522\" data-start=\"451\"\u003e“Very Official – Contents Approved – Everyone Is Talking About It,”\u003c\/strong\u003e this duffel bag delivers peak parody with a straight face. Designed to look authoritative while carrying gym gear, weekend essentials, or absolutely nothing important at all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"937\" data-start=\"699\"\u003eLightweight yet durable, this bag is built for movement — gym runs, day trips, overnights, or situations requiring plausible deniability. Easy to carry by hand or over the shoulder, it balances function with a quietly loud sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1004\" data-start=\"939\"\u003eOfficial status:\u003cbr data-end=\"958\" data-start=\"955\"\u003eUnclear.\u003cbr data-end=\"969\" data-start=\"966\"\u003eConfidence level:\u003cbr data-end=\"989\" data-start=\"986\"\u003eExtremely high.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1009\" data-start=\"1006\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1035\" data-start=\"1011\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1392\" data-start=\"1036\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1111\" data-start=\"1036\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1111\" data-start=\"1038\"\u003e100% polyester Oxford canvas for durability and lightweight performance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1150\" data-start=\"1112\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1150\" data-start=\"1114\"\u003eAvailable in small and large sizes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1215\" data-start=\"1151\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1215\" data-start=\"1153\"\u003eBlack adjustable shoulder strap with padded shoulder support\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1258\" data-start=\"1216\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1258\" data-start=\"1218\"\u003eEasy carry handles for grab-and-go use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1302\" data-start=\"1259\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1302\" data-start=\"1261\"\u003eName tag sewn inside for identification\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1355\" data-start=\"1303\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1355\" data-start=\"1305\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1392\" data-start=\"1356\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1392\" data-start=\"1358\"\u003eSize tolerance: ±0.5 in (1.3 cm)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1397\" data-start=\"1394\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1424\" data-start=\"1399\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1514\" data-start=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1464\" data-start=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1464\" data-start=\"1427\"\u003eSpot clean with mild soap and water\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1476\" data-start=\"1465\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1476\" data-start=\"1467\"\u003eAir dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1514\" data-start=\"1477\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1514\" data-start=\"1479\"\u003eDo not machine wash or tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1519\" data-start=\"1516\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1557\" data-start=\"1521\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1805\" data-start=\"1558\"\u003eThis duffel bag is made to order and assembled in the USA using globally sourced components. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each item is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eMain strap length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle width , in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":52888760844563,"sku":"82991704646573813106","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":52888760877331,"sku":"30063256914237511483","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/very-official-contents-approved-duffel-bag-political-parody-travel-bag-by-epials-shop-3130127.jpg?v=1789596129"},{"product_id":"grandiloquent-truth-dad-hat-political-parody-cap","title":"Grandiloquent Truth Dad Hat | Political Parody Cap","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"289\" data-start=\"262\"\u003e🧢 Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"375\" data-start=\"290\"\u003eSometimes the statement doesn’t need to be loud.\u003cbr data-end=\"341\" data-start=\"338\"\u003eIt just needs to sound… \u003cem data-end=\"374\" data-start=\"365\"\u003ecertain\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"613\" data-start=\"377\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"413\" data-start=\"381\"\u003eGrandiloquent Truth Dad Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e is a minimalist political parody for people fluent in exaggerated certainty, oversized confidence, and declarations that arrive fully formed. Clean embroidery. Official energy. No footnotes provided.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"828\" data-start=\"615\"\u003eWith its relaxed, unstructured fit and classic dad-hat profile, this cap pairs easily with everyday wear while quietly delivering a message that feels both authoritative and suspiciously vague — exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"909\" data-start=\"830\"\u003eWear it ironically. Wear it knowingly. Wear it because everyone already agrees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"914\" data-start=\"911\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"939\" data-start=\"916\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1341\" data-start=\"940\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1000\" data-start=\"940\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1000\" data-start=\"942\"\u003eUnstructured 6-panel body for a relaxed, comfortable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1075\" data-start=\"1001\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1075\" data-start=\"1003\"\u003ePrecurved Permacurv® visor with matching underbill and 4-row stitching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1155\" data-start=\"1076\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1155\" data-start=\"1078\"\u003eAdjustable self-fabric hideaway strap with antique brass buckle and grommet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1207\" data-start=\"1156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1207\" data-start=\"1158\"\u003e100% cotton shell for breathable, everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1240\" data-start=\"1208\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1240\" data-start=\"1210\"\u003eSewn-in label for durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1301\" data-start=\"1241\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1301\" data-start=\"1243\"\u003eBrand sticker on visor and small embroidered logo detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1341\" data-start=\"1302\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1341\" data-start=\"1304\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-end=\"1341\" data-start=\"1317\"\u003eBlack, Red, and Navy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1346\" data-start=\"1343\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1373\" data-start=\"1348\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1504\" data-start=\"1374\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1424\" data-start=\"1374\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1424\" data-start=\"1376\"\u003eSpot clean using warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1473\" data-start=\"1425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1473\" data-start=\"1427\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1504\" data-start=\"1474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1504\" data-start=\"1476\"\u003eDo not soak the entire hat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1509\" data-start=\"1506\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1547\" data-start=\"1511\"\u003e📦 Production \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1836\" data-start=\"1548\"\u003eThis hat is made to order and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Because each item is created specifically for your order, slight variations in embroidery placement or color may occur. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is crafted just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":52907998183699,"sku":"20303070789380355023","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cranberry \/ One size","offer_id":52907998216467,"sku":"72363989837264216183","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/grandiloquent-truth-dad-hat-political-parody-cap-by-epials-shop-7304769.jpg?v=1789595539"},{"product_id":"black-high-top-canvas-sneakers-graphic-streetwear-style","title":"Quiet Confidence — Minimal Line High-Top Sneakers","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"215\" data-end=\"250\"\u003eNot loud. Not flashy. Just correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"500\"\u003eThese black high-top sneakers bring a clean, intentional look with a minimalist line graphic that feels more like a signature than a design. They’re built for everyday wear but carry just enough attitude to suggest you didn’t pick them by accident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"502\" data-end=\"687\"\u003eComfortable, durable, and easy to style, they move from street to sideline without needing a wardrobe change or a personality shift. Think: low effort, high standards, zero explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1ez7cnd\" data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"698\" data-end=\"758\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love Them (Even If You Don’t Say It Out Loud)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"761\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"u9g1w6\" data-start=\"761\" data-end=\"827\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eBreathable Canvas Upper\u003c\/strong\u003e – keeps things cool under pressure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"141i4r4\" data-start=\"828\" data-end=\"885\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"830\" data-end=\"856\"\u003eMemory Foam Cushioning\u003c\/strong\u003e – soft landing, every step\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1j3n8r6\" data-start=\"886\" data-end=\"943\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eReinforced Toe\u003c\/strong\u003e – because life happens, repeatedly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1ctem7p\" data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"1016\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"975\"\u003eMinimalist Graphic Detail\u003c\/strong\u003e – subtle, sharp, and a little bit smug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sd7szw\" data-start=\"1017\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003eEveryday Versatility\u003c\/strong\u003e – goes with everything, including your mood\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1091\" data-end=\"1094\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"whoai2\" data-start=\"1096\" data-end=\"1122\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1100\" data-end=\"1120\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1407\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"k0xwyx\" data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1176\"\u003e100% polyester canvas upper with breathable weave\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"u3pavm\" data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003eEVA memory-foam insole for shock absorption and all-day comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"13epx4p\" data-start=\"1245\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003ePleather-reinforced round toe for added durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1eaascd\" data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003eDurable rubber outsole with full wraparound print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1moa619\" data-start=\"1354\" data-end=\"1407\"\u003eSilver metal eyelets with classic lace-up closure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1409\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1hiwnlk\" data-start=\"1414\" data-end=\"1441\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1418\" data-end=\"1439\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1646\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"n8xe3\" data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1501\"\u003eUse warm water and mild dish soap to clean surface dirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"xi822d\" data-start=\"1502\" data-end=\"1554\"\u003eSpot clean only; no need to soak the entire shoe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"192pnot\" data-start=\"1555\" data-end=\"1602\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for tougher areas\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"v1u9a1\" data-start=\"1603\" data-end=\"1646\"\u003eAir dry completely before wearing again\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1648\" data-end=\"1651\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"qqohr4\" data-start=\"1653\" data-end=\"1683\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1657\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003eLifestyle Image Note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1684\" data-end=\"1826\"\u003eLifestyle photos may include additional items for scale or styling context. Any extra elements shown are not included. The focus is the shoes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 13\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 14\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883348243,"sku":"81224389922301414475","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883381011,"sku":"27744341870565071045","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883413779,"sku":"23662474851822109925","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883446547,"sku":"30080978943275444808","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883479315,"sku":"88124549968518811653","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883512083,"sku":"19284081811312650523","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883544851,"sku":"15557132043456193627","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883577619,"sku":"29971277848299936068","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883610387,"sku":"29724564082865401734","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 13 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883643155,"sku":"98945854263332499902","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 14 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939883675923,"sku":"28974239731996127018","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/quiet-confidence-minimal-line-high-top-sneakers-by-epials-shop-3958813.jpg?v=1789595116"},{"product_id":"women-s-black-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes","title":"Women’s Black High-Top Sneakers – Political Parody Statement Shoes","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"261\" data-end=\"576\"\u003eA classic high-top silhouette with a sharp edge. These women’s black canvas sneakers feature a clean, high-contrast design that leans into political parody without saying a word out loud. Understated at a glance, unmistakable up close, they’re built for everyday wear, street style, and quietly provocative outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eDesigned for comfort and durability, the cushioned insole and sturdy rubber outsole make these an easy choice for all-day wear, while the crisp printed graphic turns a familiar staple into wearable commentary. Equal parts casual and intentional, these shoes don’t shout — they smirk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"863\" data-end=\"945\"\u003ePerfect for those who appreciate satire, subtlety, and a well-placed visual punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"947\" data-end=\"950\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"952\" data-end=\"977\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"955\" data-end=\"975\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1325\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"980\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003eDurable canvas upper with crisp, high-resolution printed graphic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1047\" data-end=\"1107\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1107\"\u003eClassic women’s high-top silhouette with lace-up closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1148\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1110\" data-end=\"1148\"\u003eCushioned insole for all-day comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1192\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1192\"\u003eSturdy rubber outsole for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1193\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1195\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003eBlack exterior with white stitching and sole for bold contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1325\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1325\"\u003eDesigned for casual wear, street style, and statement outfits\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1332\" data-end=\"1358\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003eSpot clean with a soft cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1429\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1429\"\u003eDo not machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1432\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eAir dry only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1447\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1449\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003eAvoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight to preserve print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1564\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1565\" data-end=\"1818\"\u003eThis item is made to order and produced by one of our international manufacturing partners. Each pair is created specifically for your order, which helps reduce waste and supports small-batch production. Production and shipping may take up to two weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1820\" data-end=\"1823\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1825\" data-end=\"1844\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1828\" data-end=\"1842\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003eThis product is a work of political satire and parody. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced by any political figure, campaign, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 5.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 6\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 7\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 8\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 9\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 10\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 11.5\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eUS 12\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eEU size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeel to toe (inside), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"US 5.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884364051,"sku":"31507757608099699629","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 6 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884396819,"sku":"39567449758037111988","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 7 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884429587,"sku":"23465810305125096416","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 8 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884462355,"sku":"17710204210368864077","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 9 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884495123,"sku":"17816190017939011109","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 10 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884527891,"sku":"24788129888401450447","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884560659,"sku":"16765347840858973079","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 11.5 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884593427,"sku":"27106914755409007875","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"US 12 \/ White sole","offer_id":52939884626195,"sku":"33024147299465188920","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/womens-black-high-top-sneakers-political-parody-statement-shoes-by-epials-shop-5179797.jpg?v=1789594882"},{"product_id":"patriotic-usa-map-weekender-bag-political-parody-travel-tote","title":"Patriotic USA Map Weekender Bag – Political Parody Travel Tote","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"355\"\u003eBecause even your luggage has opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"357\" data-end=\"592\"\u003eThis oversized weekender bag features a bold, stylized USA map wrapped in stars and stripes—designed as sharp political parody with a distinctly American sense of irony. It’s not subtle. It’s not neutral. And it definitely isn’t quiet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"872\"\u003eBuilt for short trips, overnights, and statement-making errands, this structured tote pairs durable construction with eye-catching design. The wrinkle-resistant exterior holds its shape, while the roomy interior and reinforced rope handles make it as practical as it is pointed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"874\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eWhether you read it as satire, commentary, or just unapologetic attitude, this bag says what it says—and carries everything you need while doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1027\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1029\" data-end=\"1052\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1032\" data-end=\"1052\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1115\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1115\"\u003eDurable 100% spun polyester exterior that resists wrinkles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003eComfortable 27\" cream cotton rope handles for easy carrying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003eGold-color metal grommets for reinforced strength\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1236\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003eSpacious one-size design (24\" × 13\") with structured T-bottom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003eCream 50\/50 cotton-poly interior lining for easy visibility\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1416\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1416\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1417\" data-end=\"1442\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1419\" data-end=\"1442\"\u003eSize tolerance ±0.75\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1443\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1445\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003eDesigned as a political parody statement piece\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1495\" data-end=\"1498\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1500\" data-end=\"1524\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1524\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003eRemove all items before cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1562\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1564\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003ePretreat visible stains with stain remover\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1609\" data-end=\"1691\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1611\" data-end=\"1691\"\u003eClean gently using warm water and laundry detergent with a soft cloth or brush\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1692\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1694\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003eAllow to air dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1717\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1719\" data-end=\"1754\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1722\" data-end=\"1754\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1755\" data-end=\"1939\"\u003eThis item is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e24\" × 13\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e12.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53382005948691,"sku":"12809294407300775175","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/patriotic-usa-map-weekender-bag-political-parody-travel-tote-by-epials-shop-3165962.jpg?v=1789594928"},{"product_id":"usa-map-embroidered-hat-patriotic-political-parody-cap","title":"USA Map Embroidered Hat – Patriotic Political Parody Cap","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"299\" data-end=\"332\"\u003eSome statements don’t need words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"334\" data-end=\"614\"\u003eThis classic cotton cap features a high-quality embroidered USA map filled with stars and stripes—designed as subtle political parody with everyday wearability. Clean, structured, and intentionally understated, it works just as well at the grocery store as it does at the cookout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"616\" data-end=\"833\"\u003eThe structured front panel keeps its shape, while the adjustable strap ensures a comfortable, customizable fit. Lightweight and breathable, this hat is built for all-season use without drifting into novelty territory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"922\"\u003eWear it as satire, commentary, or quiet defiance. Interpretation is part of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"924\" data-end=\"927\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"929\" data-end=\"952\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"932\" data-end=\"952\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"953\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"953\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"955\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003eSoft, durable cotton fabric for everyday comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1006\" data-end=\"1065\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1008\" data-end=\"1065\"\u003eStructured front panel with a clean, classic silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1066\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1068\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003eAdjustable strap for a customizable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1110\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003eHigh-quality embroidered design with crisp, lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1173\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1175\" data-end=\"1223\"\u003eLightweight and breathable for all-season wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1257\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eSpot clean only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1275\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1277\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1314\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1295\" data-end=\"1314\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1315\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003eDo not iron directly on embroidery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1358\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1360\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1363\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1396\" data-end=\"1579\"\u003eThis hat is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":53382072107283,"sku":"29232395845300236904","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ One size","offer_id":53382072140051,"sku":"18420485554114017082","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":53382072172819,"sku":"31653926539304488289","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ One size","offer_id":53382072205587,"sku":"49485788149888685323","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ One size","offer_id":53382072238355,"sku":"16572188989787092375","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":53382072271123,"sku":"21224938515102851419","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/usa-map-embroidered-hat-patriotic-political-parody-cap-by-epials-shop-1694150.jpg?v=1789595119"},{"product_id":"alternate-reality-department-embroidered-hat-satirical-seal-cap","title":"Alternate Reality Department Embroidered Hat – Satirical Seal Cap","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"326\" data-end=\"386\"\u003eOfficial-looking. Entirely fictional. Comfortably confident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"388\" data-end=\"681\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"392\" data-end=\"440\"\u003eAlternate Reality Department Embroidered Hat\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers crisp satire wrapped in a clean, classic silhouette. Featuring a detailed embroidered seal on the front and a subtle U.S. map accent on the side, this hat looks like it belongs in a government briefing — from an alternate universe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"984\"\u003eMade from soft, durable cotton with a structured front panel, it’s designed for everyday wear without taking itself too seriously. Adjustable, breathable, and intentionally ambiguous, this cap is perfect for people who appreciate dry humor, quiet commentary, and accessories that reward a second look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"986\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eWear it straight-faced. That’s part of the joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1036\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1041\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003e⭐ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1065\" data-end=\"1335\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1065\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003eSoft, durable cotton fabric for everyday comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1177\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1177\"\u003eStructured front panel with a clean, classic silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1178\" data-end=\"1221\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1221\"\u003eAdjustable strap for a customizable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1222\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1224\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eHigh-quality embroidered design with crisp, lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1285\" data-end=\"1335\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1287\" data-end=\"1335\"\u003eLightweight and breathable for all-season wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1340\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1367\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1370\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003eSpot clean only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003eDo not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003eDo not iron directly on embroidery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1468\" data-end=\"1471\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1509\"\u003e📦 Production \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1510\" data-end=\"1693\"\u003eThis hat is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCrown height, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.62 - 7.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eCircumference, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.87 - 24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eVisor length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":53385217802515,"sku":"78209760437922516387","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ One size","offer_id":53385217835283,"sku":"15856043291317010508","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":53385217868051,"sku":"33537557230447307473","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":53385217900819,"sku":"33314684204666519615","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cranberry \/ One size","offer_id":53385217933587,"sku":"26599692976469039739","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/alternate-reality-department-embroidered-hat-satirical-seal-cap-by-epials-shop-6281993.jpg?v=1789594882"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/collections\/alternate-reality-department-embroidered-hat-satirical-seal-cap-by-epials-shop-9420840_7e306909-97a5-42f1-a060-8f869717710a.jpg?v=1789606444","url":"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/collections\/bureaucracy-clothing-accessories.oembed?page=4","provider":"EpiAl's Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}