{"title":"Bureaucracy Office \u0026 Coworker Gifts","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor coworkers, office survivors, administrative professionals, and anyone who has ever sat through a meeting that should have been an email. Shop funny office and coworker gifts featuring bureaucracy jokes, fictional agencies, fake department seals, workplace sarcasm, paperwork humor, and dry commentary on getting through the workday.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-identify-as-american-40oz-insulated-travel-mug","title":"I Identify as American 40oz Insulated Travel Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our Insulated Travel Mug, the perfect companion for your adventures. Crafted from high-quality stainless steel, this stylish mug ensures your drinks stay hot or cold for hours, catering to your on-the-go lifestyle. Its large 40oz capacity is ideal for long trips, morning commutes, and outdoor activities. The ergonomic handle fits comfortably in your hand, making it easy to carry wherever your journey takes you. With a secure leak-proof lid, you can enjoy your favorite beverages without worrying about spills. Available in a variety of colors, this mug is perfect for anyone who loves to travel, stay active, or simply enjoy a hot cup at home. It's a thoughtful gift for holidays, birthdays, or any celebration that calls for a personal touch. Celebrate any occasion with this versatile and practical travel mug!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made from durable stainless steel to resist rust and corrosion\u003cbr\u003e- Double-wall insulation keeps drinks hot or cold for hours\u003cbr\u003e- Large capacity of 40oz ideal for long trips or outdoor activities\u003cbr\u003e- Ergonomic handle for comfortable gripping\u003cbr\u003e- Secure leak-proof lid with a tight seal to prevent spills\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher (put the product on top rack), or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e40oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.84\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth with handle, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.79\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca title=\"HOME\" href=\"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(200, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eALL COLLECTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"40oz \/ Teal","offer_id":50590473552147,"sku":"19107709370267658447","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"40oz \/ White","offer_id":50590473584915,"sku":"19158931185280138195","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/i-identify-as-american-40oz-insulated-travel-mug-by-epials-shop-2794528.jpg?v=1758001843"},{"product_id":"usa-accent-coffee-mug","title":"USA Accent Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our vibrant Accent Coffee Mug, designed to brighten up your mornings and elevate your coffee experience. Perfect for coffee lovers and tea enthusiasts alike, this mug adds a splash of color to your daily routine. The glossy finish and eye-catching color contrast make it a delightful addition to any kitchen or office space. Whether you're sipping on a warm brew while working from home or enjoying a cozy evening with friends, this mug sets the perfect atmosphere. Ideal for gifting on occasions like birthdays, holidays, and celebrations, it resonates with anyone who appreciates stylish and functional drinkware.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for convenient heating\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant colors with crisp designs\u003cbr\u003e- Available in two sizes: 11oz and 15oz\u003cbr\u003e- Lead and BPA-free for safe use\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":50675032686867,"sku":"22212446902156998497","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Navy","offer_id":50675032719635,"sku":"17373880805222553275","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Pink","offer_id":50675032752403,"sku":"14176029157887338807","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":50675032785171,"sku":"24074325005291538983","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Light Blue","offer_id":50675032817939,"sku":"33575802613001261122","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":50675032850707,"sku":"36085351008022761398","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Navy","offer_id":50675032883475,"sku":"19217859495036467474","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Pink","offer_id":50675032916243,"sku":"17917727693590007833","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":50675032949011,"sku":"12803626699549584183","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Light Blue","offer_id":50675032981779,"sku":"14167234816462736234","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/13520613418960006892_2048.jpg?v=1762530561"},{"product_id":"inspirational-tremendousa-insulated-coffee-mug-10oz","title":"Inspirational TremendoUSA Insulated Coffee Mug - 10oz","description":"\u003cp\u003eStay cozy and stylish with this Insulated Coffee Mug, perfect for enjoying your favorite hot or cold beverages. With its sleek stainless steel design and double-wall insulation, your drinks will remain at the ideal temperature while you’re on the go. The glossy finish and stipple print texture add a touch of elegance, making this mug a delightful addition to your morning routine or workday break. Whether you're commuting, working from home, or relaxing at a café, this mug elevates your drinking experience. Perfect for coffee lovers, busy professionals, or anyone who appreciates a good cup of coffee. Ideal for gifting on occasions like birthdays, holidays, or cozy winter gatherings. Enjoy your beverages in style!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Durable stainless steel construction prevents rust and corrosion\u003cbr\u003e- Double-wall insulation keeps drinks warm and eliminates condensation\u003cbr\u003e- Glossy finish with full color wraparound decoration\u003cbr\u003e- Spill-resistant and see-through acrylic push-on lid\u003cbr\u003e- Lead and BPA-free for safe drinking\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Hand wash only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e10oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter (with handle), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"10oz \/ White","offer_id":50741934063891,"sku":"10431470260797658437","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/13247630954011457762_2048.jpg?v=1762532162"},{"product_id":"motivational-coffee-mug-mocha-inspiration","title":"Political Parody Motivational Coffee Mug: Mocha Inspiration","description":"\u003cp\u003eEnjoy your favorite drinks in this vibrant Accent Coffee Mug, perfect for those who embrace a spirited vibe. With its eye-catching color contrast and glossy finish, this mug adds a splash of personality to your morning routine. Ideal for coffee lovers and tea enthusiasts alike, it’s great for home or office use. Celebrate special occasions like birthdays, holidays, or just a cozy afternoon treat! Perfect for gifting to friends, family, or colleagues who appreciate bold designs and functionality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReads: \"Some like it strong, some like it weak, some like it with milk, some like it black. But it's not just about COFFEE. It's about the AMERICAN SPIRIT. It's about waking up each morning saying, “I’M GONNA GET THINGS DONE!” And there's no better way to start than with a good cup of COFFEE.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features:\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for convenient heating\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant colors with crisp printing\u003cbr\u003e- Available in two sizes: 11oz and 15oz\u003cbr\u003e- Lead and BPA-free for safe use\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":51938611953939,"sku":"35606071146855079363","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51938611986707,"sku":"18050063844326472694","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":51938612019475,"sku":"92154393295654677007","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":51938612052243,"sku":"33000868925811920677","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51938612085011,"sku":"33527352059511251656","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":51938612117779,"sku":"19258944563350812591","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/13712714898851488416_2048.jpg?v=1762617582"},{"product_id":"parody-political-accent-coffee-mug","title":"Parody Political Accent Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing our vibrant Accent Coffee Mug, perfect for elevating your morning routine! This beautifully designed mug features a glossy finish and eye-catching color contrast that makes every sip a delightful experience. Whether you're enjoying a piping hot cup of coffee or a soothing tea, this mug brings joy and style to your everyday rituals. Ideal for coffee lovers, casual drinkers, and those who appreciate unique drinkware. It’s a fantastic gift for birthdays, holidays, or special occasions, making it a great addition to any home or office. Enjoy the perfect blend of functionality and aesthetic appeal with this charming coffee companion!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for safe heating of beverages\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant colors from advanced printing techniques\u003cbr\u003e- Available in two convenient sizes (11oz and 15oz)\u003cbr\u003e- Lead and BPA-free ceramic material for safe use\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":51950214676755,"sku":"89658976650086638530","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51950214709523,"sku":"11335877091541134656","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":51950214742291,"sku":"24287704197192371092","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Orange","offer_id":51950214775059,"sku":"27950991645127138727","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":51950214807827,"sku":"65935765999008941423","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51950214840595,"sku":"56910512230036636139","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":51950214873363,"sku":"17534250727920832174","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Orange","offer_id":51950214906131,"sku":"19175679311001606195","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/9937493445130093485_2048.jpg?v=1762531325"},{"product_id":"huge-gift-all-occasion-giftwrap","title":"Huge Parody Gift Wrapping Paper – Bold Political Humor","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"420\"\u003eMake your presents as unforgettable as what’s inside with our \u003cstrong data-start=\"325\" data-end=\"361\"\u003eHuge Parody Gift Wrapping Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e — the perfect blend of humor, attitude, and celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"422\" data-end=\"637\"\u003eFeaturing a cartoonish, over-the-top “politician-type” character striking a confident pose in front of bold block letters that read \u003cstrong data-start=\"554\" data-end=\"568\"\u003eHUGE GIFT!\u003c\/strong\u003e, this satirical design turns every package into a statement piece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"639\" data-end=\"932\"\u003eCrafted from premium satin-finish paper, it’s smooth, durable, and easy to work with — whether you’re wrapping birthday surprises, gag gifts, or festive holiday presents. The design pops with a vibrant red, white, blue, and gold color palette that brings energy and laughter to any occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"957\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eProduct Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"960\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003eAvailable in 3 sizes for all your wrapping needs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1011\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1013\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003ePremium 95gsm satin-finish paper for a professional, luxurious feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003eBold comic-style parody artwork that’s fun and eye-catching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1147\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003eSustainably sourced and 100% recyclable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1193\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003ePerfect for birthdays, holidays, or any “HUGE” celebration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003eMake every gift a conversation starter — because ordinary wrap just can’t compete with this much personality.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":51950578827539,"sku":"18519138665534792429","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":51950578860307,"sku":"84822174300957017234","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":51950578893075,"sku":"19985804686998788416","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":51950578925843,"sku":"88407423976597657723","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":51950578958611,"sku":"10828946561848966574","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":51950578991379,"sku":"33444218755954410054","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/10320255724516880281_4096.jpg?v=1762496317"},{"product_id":"anti-protest-coffee-mug","title":"Anti-Establishment Protest Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eStart your day with a splash of color and personality using our vibrant Accent Coffee Mug. This eye-catching piece not only serves as a functional coffee buddy but also doubles as a statement accessory for your kitchen or office. With its glossy finish and colorful interior, it brings a cheerful vibe to your routine. Perfect for coffee lovers, tea enthusiasts, or anyone who appreciates a unique design. This mug is ideal for gifting on special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, or just because you want to make someone smile. Celebrate individuality and spunk with every sip!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for easy heating of beverages\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for hassle-free cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Features vibrant colors with crisp designs\u003cbr\u003e- Crafted from white ceramic with a colored interior\u003cbr\u003e- Available in two convenient sizes: 11oz and 15oz\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":51954925633811,"sku":"26357806475696183433","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51954925666579,"sku":"30964061161417727782","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":51954925699347,"sku":"29189024896025962176","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":51954925732115,"sku":"12370420050239092515","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51954925764883,"sku":"28358824764066658384","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":51954925797651,"sku":"96866909016355409548","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/8195060632449705059_2048.jpg?v=1762527228"},{"product_id":"commander-chief-coffee-mug","title":"Commander Chief Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eEnjoy your favorite beverages in style with this vibrant Accent Coffee Mug. The cheerful design adds a splash of personality to your morning routine, making it a perfect companion for coffee lovers. Whether you're starting your day or taking a break, this mug sets a warm and inviting atmosphere. It’s the ideal gift for friends, family, or coworkers who appreciate unique and colorful drinkware. Great for holidays, birthdays, or just a thoughtful surprise, this coffee mug is sure to brighten anyone's day!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for quick reheating\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant colors thanks to advanced printing techniques\u003cbr\u003e- Made of durable white ceramic with colorful interior and handle\u003cbr\u003e- Available in two sizes: 11oz and 15oz, with multiple color options.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":51954978357523,"sku":"27784879086751398708","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51954978390291,"sku":"96871049952049522155","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":51954978423059,"sku":"15351767104029969110","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":51954978455827,"sku":"22591980245468855318","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Navy","offer_id":51954978488595,"sku":"19124734615903475367","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":51954978521363,"sku":"10119573377862756993","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/14023200909165761705_2048.jpg?v=1762531867"},{"product_id":"big-beautiful-birthday-gift-wrapping-paper-roll","title":"Big Beautiful Birthday Gift Wrapping Paper Roll","description":"\u003ch2\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Wrap for Every Celebration\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen it comes to celebrating birthdays, presentation is just as important as the gift itself. That's where our \u003cstrong\u003ebig beautiful birthday gift wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e comes in. This eye-catching wrapping paper is designed to add a touch of elegance and excitement to any birthday celebration. Crafted with high-quality materials and stunning designs, our gift wrap is not only visually appealing but also sturdy enough to handle any gift size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Our Big Beautiful Birthday Gift Wrap?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis premium wrapping paper roll boasts a range of features that make it a must-have for your party preparations. Here are just a few reasons to make our gift wrap your go-to choice this birthday season:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGenerous Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each roll offers ample wrapping material, allowing you to cover multiple gifts or larger items with ease.\u003c\/li\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant Designs:\u003c\/strong\u003e Featuring colorful patterns and festive motifs, our gift wrap enhances the overall feel of your birthday celebrations.\u003c\/li\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-Quality Paper:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made from thick, durable paper, this gift wrap prevents tearing and ensures your presents look perfect right up until the moment they're unwrapped.\u003c\/li\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEco-Friendly Options:\u003c\/strong\u003e We offer sustainable wrapping paper options that are both beautiful and kind to the planet, making your celebrations more responsible.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eVersatile for Any Occasion\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhile perfect for birthdays, our \u003cstrong\u003ebig beautiful birthday gift wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e can be used for a variety of occasions. Whether you’re wrapping gifts for a baby shower, wedding, or holiday celebration, our versatile designs will serve your needs beautifully. This wrapping paper not only complements a range of themes but also elevates the gifting experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eTips for the Perfect Gift Wrapping\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrapping a gift can be as fun as choosing it, especially with our vibrant and exciting gift wrap. Here are some simple tips for achieving that polished look:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMeasure Before Cutting:\u003c\/strong\u003e Always measure your gift before cutting the wrapping paper to ensure you have enough material.\u003c\/li\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUse Double-Sided Tape:\u003c\/strong\u003e For a clean finish, use double-sided tape to secure your wrap discreetly.\u003c\/li\u003e\n   \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdd a Personal Touch:\u003c\/strong\u003e Complement your wrapping with a ribbon or a handwritten card for a heartfelt finishing touch!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eCustomer Satisfaction Guaranteed\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe pride ourselves on delivering products that not only look great but also meet your expectations. Our \u003cstrong\u003ebig beautiful birthday gift wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e is designed with you in mind. We are confident that you'll love the quality and aesthetic of our wrapping paper. Should you have any concerns, our customer support team is here to help!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eOrdering Made Easy\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s never been easier to elevate your birthday gifting game. Simply add the \u003cstrong\u003ebig beautiful birthday gift wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e roll to your cart, choose your preferred quantity, and proceed to checkout. Our streamlined process ensures you can quickly get back to planning that perfect birthday celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eOrder Now and Celebrate in Style!\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon’t let your gifts go unnoticed this birthday season. Make a statement with our stunning \u003cstrong\u003ebig beautiful birthday gift wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e. Click the button below to order your roll today, and get ready to wow your loved ones with beautifully wrapped gifts that truly stand out!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"28\" x 39\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52114347393299,"sku":"31087333232800274785","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"28\" x 79\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52114347426067,"sku":"30347811222769685025","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/big-beautiful-birthday-gift-wrapping-paper-roll-by-epials-shop-6546262.jpg?v=1757997946"},{"product_id":"big-beautiful-birthday-gift-bag","title":"Big Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag for Memorable Celebrations","description":"\u003ch2\u003eDiscover the Big Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag for Memorable Celebrations\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen planning a celebration, the details matter, and the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e is an essential element that sets the tone for the festivities. This stunning gift bag not only enhances the visual appeal of your presents but also ensures that the special moments are remembered fondly for years to come. Perfect for all ages, this gift bag embodies the spirit of joy and excitement that come with birthdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eVibrant Design Meets Functionality\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery birthday party deserves a little flair, and our \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers exactly that. Crafted from high-quality paper, it features a lively design that will captivate anyone who lays eyes on it. The colors are vibrant, ensuring that your gift stands out amidst the celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGenerous Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e With ample space to hold all your gifts, this bag can accommodate everything from small trinkets to larger presents.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurable Material:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made from sturdy paper stock, this bag withstands the weight of your gifts without tearing or bending.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEye-Catching Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e The colorful artwork is designed to celebrate the joy of birthdays, making it the perfect complement to your thoughtful gifts.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEco-Friendly Options:\u003c\/strong\u003e We also offer recyclable versions, ensuring that your celebration is as gentle on the planet as it is delightful.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003ePerfect for Any Age Group\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo matter who you are celebrating, our \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e is suitable for recipients of any age. Whether you’re surprising a child with the latest toys or honoring a friend's milestone birthday, the eye-catching design will make every gift feel extra special. Celebrate every moment, from sweet sixteen parties to golden anniversaries, with a gift bag that appeals to all generations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Our Birthday Gift Bag?\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat sets our \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e apart from other gift packaging options is its unique blend of beauty and practicality. You won’t have to worry about complicated wrapping techniques or running out of tape. Instead, you can focus on what really matters - celebrating your loved ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere are some reasons to choose our product:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSaves Time:\u003c\/strong\u003e Forget about spending hours trying to wrap your gifts perfectly. Just place your items inside, and you are ready to go!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMore Enjoyment:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spend more time celebrating and less time worrying about presentation. Your gift will look stunning, leaving a lasting impression on the birthday person.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGreat for Multiple Occasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s not just for birthdays. Use it for any festive occasion, such as holidays, graduations, or anniversaries - versatility at its best!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBudget-Friendly:\u003c\/strong\u003e Affordable pricing means you can purchase multiple bags without breaking the bank, ensuring that you have one ready for any surprise celebration!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Pairing for Gift Items\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eOur \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e is incredibly versatile and pairs well with a wide range of gift items. From bright toys to elegant jewelry, ensure your gifts are beautifully presented. It’s spacious enough to hold wrapped gifts, gift boxes, and even smaller gift bags. Don’t settle for ordinary wrapping when you can create an extraordinary presentation that impresses all.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eEasy to Handle\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe've designed our gift bag with your convenience in mind. The sturdy handles provide a comfortable grip, making transporting your gifts from your home to the celebration a breeze. No more worrying about your bag tearing or handles breaking at the last minute; the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e makes every step of your gift-giving experience enjoyable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCustomer Satisfaction Always Comes First\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour satisfaction is our priority. With thorough quality checks and a commitment to providing an exceptional product, we guarantee you'll love our \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e. We stand behind our products and are dedicated to ensuring you have the best experience possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn conclusion, if you're looking to make birthdays and celebrations unforgettable, the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e is just what you need. Start your celebrations right and make everyone feel special. Don’t miss the opportunity to transform your gift-giving experience into something extraordinary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReady to make your next celebration memorable?\u003c\/strong\u003e Get the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Beautiful Birthday Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"19.7\" x 26\"","offer_id":52114477613331,"sku":"47565839621592857286","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/big-beautiful-birthday-celebration-gift-bag-by-epials-shop-7008710.jpg?v=1757998547"},{"product_id":"black-white-freedom-themed-gift-wrap","title":"Black \u0026 White Freedom Gift Wrap – Patriotic Black Lettering","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"373\" data-end=\"681\"\u003eCelebrate liberty and style with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"397\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eBlack \u0026amp; White \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"410\" data-end=\"437\"\u003eFreedom Gift Wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e — a bold yet classic design that turns every present into a statement of pride and purpose. Featuring \u003cstrong data-start=\"540\" data-end=\"569\"\u003eblack “FREEDOM” lettering\u003c\/strong\u003e and a subtle \u003cstrong data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"603\"\u003eU.S. flag accent\u003c\/strong\u003e, this premium wrapping paper captures the spirit of independence and unity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"911\"\u003ePrinted on \u003cstrong data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"735\"\u003ehigh-quality 95gsm satin-finish paper\u003c\/strong\u003e, it offers a smooth texture and crisp, vivid detail that enhances any celebration — from Independence Day and Veterans Day to birthdays, graduations, and patriotic holidays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"913\" data-end=\"1192\"\u003eWhether you’re wrapping a thoughtful gift for a loved one or adding a meaningful touch to a corporate or community event, this wrap delivers timeless appeal with a modern edge. And because it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"1107\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003esustainably sourced and fully recyclable\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s as responsible as it is refined.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1197\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1199\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003e95gsm premium satin finish paper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1266\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1268\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003eClean white background with bold black “FREEDOM” lettering and U.S. flag accent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1350\" data-end=\"1408\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1408\"\u003eSmooth texture with fine-art detail and luxurious feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1409\" data-end=\"1452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1411\" data-end=\"1452\"\u003eAvailable in two sizes for flexible use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1453\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003eSustainably sourced and recyclable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1494\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003ePerfect for patriotic celebrations, holidays, and meaningful gifts\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e28\" x 39\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e28\" x 79\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39.37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e78.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"28\" x 39\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52401609474323,"sku":"17187781659713281089","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"28\" x 79\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52401609507091,"sku":"23239506184971411717","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/15517421234170150557_2048.jpg?v=1762490390"},{"product_id":"freedom-gaming-mousepad","title":"Black \u0026 White Freedom Gaming Mouse Pad – Patriotic Desk Accessory","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"692\"\u003eUpgrade your workspace or gaming setup with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"412\" data-end=\"446\"\u003eBlack \u0026amp; White Freedom Gaming Mouse Pad\u003c\/strong\u003e, where precision meets personality. Designed for both performance and style, it features a \u003cstrong data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"598\"\u003eclean white backdrop with bold black “FREEDOM” lettering\u003c\/strong\u003e and a subtle \u003cstrong data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"632\"\u003eU.S. flag accent\u003c\/strong\u003e — a timeless statement of focus, independence, and drive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"698\" data-end=\"725\"\u003esmooth neoprene surface\u003c\/strong\u003e ensures flawless mouse gliding and pixel-perfect accuracy, while the \u003cstrong data-start=\"795\" data-end=\"820\"\u003eanti-slip rubber base\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps everything secure, even during intense gaming sessions or busy workdays. Whether you’re a gamer, creator, or professional, this mouse pad adds confidence and character to every click.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1158\"\u003ePerfect for home offices, gaming setups, and patriotic gift-giving, it’s a sleek and durable desk upgrade that looks as strong as it performs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1160\" data-end=\"1163\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1193\"\u003e⚡ \u003cstrong data-start=\"1171\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1262\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1262\"\u003eSmooth surface for effortless mouse control and precise movement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1346\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1265\" data-end=\"1346\"\u003eFull-color print with “FREEDOM” text and flag accent for a bold, patriotic look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1402\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1349\" data-end=\"1402\"\u003eAnti-slip rubber base keeps the pad firmly in place\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1403\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1405\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003e0.11\" (3mm) thick durable neoprene construction\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003eStitched edges prevent fraying and extend product life\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1518\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1520\" data-end=\"1550\"\u003e🧼 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1548\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1600\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1553\" data-end=\"1600\"\u003eSpot clean with warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1649\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1603\" data-end=\"1649\"\u003eUse a soft-bristled brush for stubborn spots\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1650\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003eDo not soak or machine wash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e9\" × 7\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDepth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52431947235603,"sku":"17617681841571938485","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/12168975511518232704_2048.jpg?v=1762401133"},{"product_id":"the-most-beautiful-wrap-for-christmas","title":"The Most Beautiful Wrap for Christmas","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"384\" data-end=\"685\"\u003eMake this Christmas \u003cem data-start=\"404\" data-end=\"427\"\u003eabsolutely tremendous\u003c\/em\u003e with \u003cstrong data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"478\"\u003eThe Most Beautiful Wrap. Everyone Agrees.\u003c\/strong\u003e — the most confident paper ever printed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"384\" data-end=\"685\"\u003eCrafted for those who believe presentation matters (and that modesty is overrated), this premium wrapping paper combines humor, luxury, and show-stopping design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003eEach roll features \u003cstrong data-start=\"706\" data-end=\"738\"\u003evibrant, full-color printing\u003c\/strong\u003e on high-quality paper that handles folds, corners, and tape with ease. Whether you’re wrapping gifts for friends, family, or anyone lucky enough to make your list, this wrap guarantees smiles and compliments — because, frankly, people can’t stop talking about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1018\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1041\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003ePremium semi-gloss wrapping paper for bright, durable color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1103\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003eAvailable in three sizes to fit any gift (30\", 60\", or 90\" lengths)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1175\" data-end=\"1227\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1227\"\u003ePrinted with bold, high-resolution parody design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1276\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1276\"\u003eSmooth, easy-fold paper that resists tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1277\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1279\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003ePerfect for Christmas!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1393\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1375\" data-end=\"1393\"\u003eDesign details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1394\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003eThe repeating slogan \u003cstrong data-start=\"1415\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e“The Most Beautiful Wrap. Everyone Agrees.”\u003c\/strong\u003e is paired with festive red, white, and gold accents. The pattern has a polished, mock-presidential confidence — perfect for gift-givers with humor and style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1629\" data-end=\"1651\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1636\" data-end=\"1651\"\u003ePerfect for\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1707\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1654\" data-end=\"1707\"\u003eHoliday gifts that deserve a little extra attention\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1708\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1710\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003ePolitical parody fans and humor lovers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1751\" data-end=\"1827\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1753\" data-end=\"1827\"\u003eHosts, friends, and coworkers who appreciate a clever twist on tradition\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1828\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1830\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003eThose who know wrapping paper should be as entertaining as the gift inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608782074131,"sku":"19730028580621005179","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608782106899,"sku":"15939396287198401775","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608782139667,"sku":"34836784327220886931","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608782172435,"sku":"25295632716951715975","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608782205203,"sku":"32897309676786286761","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608782237971,"sku":"31672502700282894259","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/17793697857187188885_4096_c281fcd0-f7b6-48fb-9375-fc66765a014f.jpg?v=1763092082"},{"product_id":"copy-of-the-most-beautiful-wrap-for-christmas","title":"Official Paper of Christmas | Parody Wrapping Paper","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"414\" data-end=\"737\"\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"488\"\u003eOfficial Paper of Christmas. Maybe Even Santa Uses It.\u003c\/strong\u003e — the most festive, most talked-about wrapping paper of the season. Crafted for confident gift-givers who know presentation matters, this premium parody wrap combines bold design, bright color, and the kind of humor that makes even Santa jealous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"999\"\u003ePrinted on smooth, semi-gloss paper with crisp, durable color, it’s easy to fold, fun to use, and impossible to ignore. Whether you’re wrapping gifts for friends, family, or someone who “made the nice list, probably,” this paper guarantees legendary results.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1001\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1006\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1013\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1036\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003ePremium semi-gloss wrapping paper for bright, durable color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1169\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1100\" data-end=\"1169\"\u003eAvailable in three sizes to fit any gift (30\", 60\", or 90\" lengths)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1170\" data-end=\"1222\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1172\" data-end=\"1222\"\u003ePrinted with bold, high-resolution parody design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1223\" data-end=\"1271\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1271\"\u003eSmooth, easy-fold paper that resists tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1274\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003ePerfect for Christmas, holidays, or anytime you’re feeling tremendous\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1350\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1377\"\u003eDesign details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1378\" data-end=\"1684\"\u003eThe repeating phrase \u003cstrong data-start=\"1399\" data-end=\"1459\"\u003e“Official Paper of Christmas. Maybe Even Santa Uses It.”\u003c\/strong\u003e features confident, mock-presidential typography in classic holiday red, gold, and white. Its polished layout and humor-with-a-wink tone make it the perfect statement for anyone who takes wrapping (and laughter) seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1686\" data-end=\"1689\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1691\" data-end=\"1713\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1698\" data-end=\"1713\"\u003ePerfect for\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1953\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1716\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003ePolitical parody fans and holiday humor lovers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1765\" data-end=\"1821\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1767\" data-end=\"1821\"\u003eHosts and gift-givers who like to make an impression\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1822\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1824\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eFriends, family, and coworkers who appreciate witty décor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1884\" data-end=\"1953\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1953\"\u003eChristmas wrapping that’s as entertaining as the gifts themselves\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608974487827,"sku":"13456167823150081381","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608974520595,"sku":"21347950602510517856","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608974553363,"sku":"12234643357276404086","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608974586131,"sku":"27594315547244606947","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52608974618899,"sku":"18628926788349116006","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52608974651667,"sku":"18721312891392843597","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/1792395477463039220_4096.jpg?v=1763099512"},{"product_id":"i-wrapped-this-myself-wrapping-paper-political-parody","title":"I Wrapped This Myself Wrapping Paper – Political Parody","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"392\" data-end=\"591\"\u003eGive your gifts the flawless, photo-op-worthy finish they deserve with \u003cstrong data-start=\"463\" data-end=\"514\"\u003eI Wrapped This Myself. Perfectly. Everyone Saw.\u003c\/strong\u003e — the wrapping paper that speaks for itself (loudly, and with confidence).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"593\" data-end=\"939\"\u003eThis premium parody gift wrap combines humor, holiday cheer, and world-class presentation. Printed on smooth, semi-gloss paper with bright, crisp color, it’s as durable as it is delightful. Whether you actually wrapped it yourself or just want people to think you did, this paper makes every gift look tremendous — no press conference required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"944\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"973\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"953\" data-end=\"973\"\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"1037\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"976\" data-end=\"1037\"\u003ePremium semi-gloss wrapping paper for bright, durable color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003eAvailable in three sizes to fit any gift (30\", 60\", or 90\" lengths)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1110\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003ePrinted with bold, high-resolution parody design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1165\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003eSmooth, easy-fold paper that resists tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1212\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003ePerfect for Christmas, birthdays, or any moment worth bragging about\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1298\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003eDesign details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1611\"\u003eThe repeating phrase \u003cstrong data-start=\"1338\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003e“I Wrapped This Myself. Perfectly. Everyone Saw.”\u003c\/strong\u003e appears in bold festive typography across a background of confident red, gold, and white. It’s equal parts boast and holiday masterpiece — proof that your wrapping game is strong and your sense of humor even stronger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1613\" data-end=\"1616\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1618\" data-end=\"1640\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1625\" data-end=\"1640\"\u003ePerfect for\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1641\" data-end=\"1871\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1641\" data-end=\"1692\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1643\" data-end=\"1692\"\u003ePolitical parody fans and confident gift-givers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1693\" data-end=\"1749\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1695\" data-end=\"1749\"\u003eFriends, coworkers, and family with a sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1750\" data-end=\"1815\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1815\"\u003eHosts, entertainers, and anyone who loves attention to detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1816\" data-end=\"1871\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1818\" data-end=\"1871\"\u003eWrapping gifts that are as impressive as the gifter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52609337590035,"sku":"11589877245358729562","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52609337622803,"sku":"17795280658869271297","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52609337655571,"sku":"33441510680179418998","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52609337688339,"sku":"18920253026832431691","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52609337721107,"sku":"51880489801732596487","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52609337753875,"sku":"13144513732216140529","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/13497824395430257082_4096.jpg?v=1763115628"},{"product_id":"american-loving-eagle-christmas-card","title":"America Loving Eagle Christmas Card – 1, 10, 30, 50 pc. sets","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrisp white cards carry a bold, playful holiday illustration — an eagle in a Santa hat clutching candy canes above a hand-lettered “Merry Christmas.” Bright, saturated inks give the artwork a lively, cheerful pop that reads warm and confident in any light.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach card leaves room for a personal note, while a matching envelope keeps the presentation tidy. These cards sit well on a mantel, in a mailbox, or tucked into a stocking, bringing a touch of spirited humor to seasonal greetings. The \u003cstrong\u003eAmerica Loving Eagle Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e blends patriotic flair with tongue-in-cheek holiday fun — featuring a golden combover eagle in a Santa hat holding candy canes like drumsticks of freedom. Printed on premium cardstock with a smooth double-sided coated finish, it’s the perfect mix of festive, funny, and just a little bit bold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-precision color printing for crisp artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Printed on sturdy 270gsm white paper\u003cbr\u003e- Double-sided coated (satin-like) finish for rich, vivid color\u003cbr\u003e- Folded 5\" × 7\" vertical design with 1\/16\" front overlap\u003cbr\u003e- Blank interior for handwritten messages\u003cbr\u003e- Includes matching white envelope\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUse a soft, clean, and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the card outward.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHoliday humor fans, political parody collectors, and anyone who enjoys a little extra freedom with their fruitcake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e5\" x 7\" (Vertical)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 1 pc","offer_id":52654341456147,"sku":"18316171382561100974","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 10 pcs","offer_id":52653533233427,"sku":"15507709853076721818","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 30 pcs","offer_id":52653533266195,"sku":"18649038826670656141","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 50 pcs","offer_id":52653533298963,"sku":"33638117033776073530","price":48.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/10962861093741176709_2048.jpg?v=1763383849"},{"product_id":"the-spirit-of-bipartisanship-christmas-card-10-30-50-pc-sets","title":"The Spirit of Bipartisanship Christmas Card – 1, 10, 30, 50 pc sets","description":"\u003cp\u003eCelebrate the rarest miracle of the season — agreement! The \u003cstrong\u003eSpirit of Bipartisanship Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e features two snowmen, one in a blue scarf and one in a red, shaking hands under mistletoe. Bright, colorful, and full of holiday humor, it’s a cheerful nod to togetherness and the hope that peace on earth might just extend to politics — at least in December. Crisp white cardstock carries a lively winter illustration printed with rich, saturated inks that pop with warmth and cheer. Folded and blank inside, each card leaves room for a personal note, while a matching envelope completes the look. This lighthearted design sits perfectly on any mantel, mailbox, or office desk — a festive reminder that sometimes, miracles really do happen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e “’Tis the season for peace, goodwill… and maybe even compromise.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInside:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for your message.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-precision color printing for crisp artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Printed on sturdy 270gsm white paper\u003cbr\u003e- Double-sided coated (satin-like) finish for vivid color\u003cbr\u003e- Folded 5\" × 7\" vertical design with 1\/16\" front overlap\u003cbr\u003e- Blank interior for handwritten messages\u003cbr\u003e- Includes matching white envelope\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUse a soft, clean, and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the card outward.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePolitical humor fans, office gift exchanges, bipartisan families, and anyone who believes in Christmas miracles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e5\" x 7\" (Vertical)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 1 pc","offer_id":52654222115091,"sku":"12083224728485865592","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 10 pcs","offer_id":52654222147859,"sku":"26325704195585748782","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 30 pcs","offer_id":52654222180627,"sku":"24871831464167005636","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 50 pcs","offer_id":52654222213395,"sku":"25129260440393340191","price":48.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/15887569353645449435_2048.jpg?v=1763386571"},{"product_id":"santa-s-approval-ratings-christmas-card-10-30-50-pc-sets","title":"Santa’s Approval Ratings Christmas Card – 1, 10, 30, 50 pc sets","description":"\u003cp\u003eThrough the roof, folks! The \u003cstrong\u003eSanta’s Approval Ratings Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates the season’s biggest comeback — Santa himself, earning record holiday numbers with bipartisan support. Featuring a cheerful press-conference scene with Santa at the podium and a very familiar blonde combover politician offering a congratulatory pat, this card delivers festive satire with style. Crisp white 270gsm cardstock and a double-sided coated finish make the art pop with rich, saturated color. Folded 5x7 design with pre-printed inside text and matching envelope included. Perfect for gift exchanges, office humor, and anyone who enjoys a little political sparkle with their cocoa.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e “HIGHEST CHRISTMAS APPROVAL IN HISTORY”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInside:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Through the roof, folks! Everybody loves Santa — everybody! He’s delivering wins. Big, beautiful wins! And nobody’s tired of it. Have a TREMENDOUS CHRISTMAS! Make it the best one yet!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-precision color printing for crisp artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Printed on sturdy 270gsm white paper\u003cbr\u003e- Double-sided coated (satin-like) finish for vivid color\u003cbr\u003e- Folded 5\" × 7\" vertical design with 1\/16\" front overlap\u003cbr\u003e- Pre-printed interior message\u003cbr\u003e- Includes matching white envelope\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e5\" x 7\" (Vertical)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUse a soft, clean, and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the card outward.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePolitical humor fans, holiday card collectors, coworkers, and anyone who believes in Santa, satire, and strong approval ratings.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 1 pc","offer_id":52654276116755,"sku":"77272253570061414800","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 10 pcs","offer_id":52654276149523,"sku":"11347566540194259161","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 30 pcs","offer_id":52654276182291,"sku":"10234345602856380636","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 50 pcs","offer_id":52654276215059,"sku":"27392943849130097900","price":48.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/14016886366593504884_2048.jpg?v=1763387126"},{"product_id":"frosty-s-press-conference-christmas-card-10-30-50-pc-sets","title":"Frosty’s Press Conference Christmas Card – 1, 10, 30, 50 pc sets","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe snow has spoken — and it’s making headlines! The \u003cstrong\u003eFrosty’s Press Conference Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e features a snowman with a signature blonde combover and red tie addressing a crowd of snowmen from the podium. Bright lights, falling snow, and a flurry of festive confidence capture this hilarious holiday moment. Printed on crisp 270gsm white cardstock with a smooth double-coated finish, this 5x7 folded card combines cheerful design and clever satire in one cool collectible. Inside text keeps the humor rolling — perfect for holiday gift exchanges, political parody lovers, and anyone who enjoys a snowstorm of self-assurance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Tremendous turnout — biggest snowman crowd you’ve ever seen.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInside:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Cool under pressure. Very solid performance. Didn’t melt once. MERRY CHRISTMAS from the frostiest administration ever!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-precision color printing for crisp artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Printed on sturdy 270gsm white paper\u003cbr\u003e- Double-sided coated (satin-like) finish for vivid color\u003cbr\u003e- Folded 5\" × 7\" vertical design with 1\/16\" front overlap\u003cbr\u003e- Pre-printed interior message\u003cbr\u003e- Includes matching white envelope\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUse a soft, clean, and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the card outward.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFans of political humor, snowman enthusiasts, and anyone who appreciates a cool-headed leader spreading cheer from the podium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e5\" x 7\" (Vertical)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 1 pc","offer_id":52654339948819,"sku":"26833731435352516044","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 10 pcs","offer_id":52654339981587,"sku":"25418190087855037969","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 30 pcs","offer_id":52654340014355,"sku":"28623276691837724218","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 50 pcs","offer_id":52654340047123,"sku":"10196946451550338496","price":48.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/5149723676868138228_2048.jpg?v=1763387794"},{"product_id":"frosty-s-press-conference-wrapping-paper","title":"Frosty’s Press Conference Wrapping Paper","description":"\u003cp\u003eCool under pressure, stylish under the tree. The \u003cstrong\u003eFrosty’s Press Conference Wrapping Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e turns every gift into a headline event! Featuring the snowman with the famous blonde combover delivering his record-setting holiday remarks, this bold and hilarious design captures the spirit of the “frostiest administration ever.” Perfect for humor-loving friends, office gift exchanges, and anyone who believes in free speech — especially from snowmen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDesign Text: \u003c\/strong\u003e“Tremendous turnout — biggest snowman crowd you’ve ever seen. Cool under pressure. Very solid performance. Didn’t melt once. MERRY CHRISTMAS from the frostiest administration ever!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Bright, full-color print with vivid holiday detail\u003cbr\u003e- Smooth, high-quality wrapping paper for crisp folds and flawless presentation\u003cbr\u003e- Unique EpilepticAL parody design exclusive to this collection\u003cbr\u003e- Perfect for gag gifts, holiday parties, and political humor fans alike\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHandle gently to prevent creasing before wrapping. Store flat or rolled to maintain print quality.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnyone who loves a good laugh under the tree — snowmen, satire, and supporters of “tremendous” wrapping jobs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52654350926099,"sku":"20625280686886892358","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52654350958867,"sku":"99269297178918458164","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52654350991635,"sku":"12139671726149639409","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52654351024403,"sku":"38953581727485992142","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52654351057171,"sku":"80045582838974781949","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52654351089939,"sku":"30898764889200107352","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/6246655305263351695_4096.jpg?v=1763388374"},{"product_id":"frosty-s-press-conference-gift-bag-political-parody-holiday-drawstring-bag","title":"Frosty’s Press Conference Gift Bag – Political Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eCool under pressure — and even cooler under the tree! The \u003cstrong\u003eFrosty’s Press Conference Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e brings humor, holiday spirit, and a touch of parody to your present wrapping. Featuring Frosty with his iconic blonde combover and red tie addressing the “biggest snowman crowd you’ve ever seen,” this drawstring gift bag adds tremendous flair to every celebration. Introduce a touch of whimsy to your holidays with this vibrant, vintage-style bag. Crafted from a soft polyester-cotton blend with a sturdy sewn-in drawstring, it’s spacious enough to hold multiple gifts and stylish enough to make headlines at any gathering. Perfect for Christmas, birthdays, or any occasion that calls for a cool delivery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted Design Text: \u003c\/strong\u003e“Tremendous turnout — biggest snowman crowd you’ve ever seen. Cool under pressure. Very solid performance. Didn’t melt once. MERRY CHRISTMAS from the frostiest administration ever!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Sewed-in drawstring for easy closure\u003cbr\u003e- Spacious design accommodates multiple gifts\u003cbr\u003e- Made of 95% polyester and 5% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- Charming vintage look to elevate your gifting experience\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- Spot clean only\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHoliday humor fans, parody lovers, and anyone who likes their gift wrap as confident as their Christmas spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e19.7\" x 26\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eThickness, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"19.7\" x 26\"","offer_id":52654368063763,"sku":"61552246395313464491","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/5464891287986858225_2048.jpg?v=1763389696"},{"product_id":"red-tape-gift-wrap-political-parody-all-purpose-wrapping-paper","title":"Red Tape Gift Wrap – Political Parody All-Purpose Wrapping Paper","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"907\"\u003eWrap your gifts in pure bureaucratic chaos with \u003cstrong data-start=\"582\" data-end=\"604\"\u003eRed Tape Gift Wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e, the perfect political parody paper for holidays, birthdays, office parties, or anyone who’s ever survived a trip through government paperwork. Featuring a repeating red-tape–inspired design, this all-purpose wrap gives every package the look of \u003cem data-start=\"851\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eofficial\u003c\/em\u003e complication… with none of the actual hassle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"1200\"\u003eUse it for gag gifts, white-elephant parties, political humor lovers, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates a little satire with their surprises. Printed on high-quality, vibrant wrapping stock, it folds cleanly, tapes smoothly, and delivers big laughs from the moment you hand over the gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1202\" data-end=\"1224\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1202\" data-end=\"1222\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1227\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003ePremium, high-opacity wrapping paper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1266\" data-end=\"1306\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1268\" data-end=\"1306\"\u003eSmooth finish for crisp, vivid color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1307\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1309\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003eDurable, easy-folding material\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003ePerfect for birthdays, holidays, office parties \u0026amp; gag gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003eExclusive political parody design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1445\" data-end=\"1448\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1595\"\u003eStore flat or rolled in a dry area. Avoid prolonged moisture exposure. Wipe gently with a clean, dry cloth if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52675462070547,"sku":"20272743294985665472","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52675462103315,"sku":"24451239265676015239","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52675462136083,"sku":"21788915828089738444","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52675462168851,"sku":"60449681567866090093","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52675462201619,"sku":"15878238598086387330","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52675462234387,"sku":"49252539424207727594","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/7318940667266694920_4096.jpg?v=1763593443"},{"product_id":"greatest-present-believe-me-political-parody-wrapping-paper","title":"“Greatest Present, Believe Me” Political Parody Wrapping Paper","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"389\" data-end=\"436\"\u003eWrap your gifts in pure political theater. 😏\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"438\" data-end=\"730\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"442\" data-end=\"508\"\u003e“Greatest Present, Believe Me” Political Parody Wrapping Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e turns every package into a punchline, featuring a silhouetted politician at a podium with an exaggerated blonde swoosh and a mouthful of over-the-top bragging. It’s festive, funny, and just the right amount of ridiculous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"732\" data-end=\"794\"\u003eEach repeating pattern includes tongue-in-cheek quotes like:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"796\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"796\" data-end=\"843\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"843\"\u003e“This is the greatest present… believe me.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"873\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"846\" data-end=\"873\"\u003e“Nobody wraps like this.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"874\" data-end=\"919\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"876\" data-end=\"919\"\u003e“Better than all the other gifts, folks.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"922\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e“World class gift. Totally tremendous.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003eUse it for Christmas, birthdays, office parties, white elephant exchanges, Secret Santa, or any time your gift needs a side of satire. It’s the perfect wrap for people who love politics, memes, or just a good laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003eFeatures \/ Bullet Points\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1902\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1352\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1352\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1223\" data-end=\"1250\"\u003ePolitical parody design\u003c\/strong\u003e – Silhouette of a larger-than-life podium speaker with an exaggerated combover and boastful quotes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e😂 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1358\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003eInstant conversation starter\u003c\/strong\u003e – Great for parties, gag gifts, white elephant, and office exchanges.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1465\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003e🎄 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1468\" data-end=\"1497\"\u003eAll-purpose holiday ready\u003c\/strong\u003e – Works for Christmas, birthdays, retirements, and any gift-giving occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1577\" data-end=\"1679\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1579\" data-end=\"1679\"\u003e🧻 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1582\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003eQuality wrapping paper\u003c\/strong\u003e – Smooth, durable print that folds cleanly and resists easy tearing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1680\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1682\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003e🧩 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1685\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003eRepeating pattern\u003c\/strong\u003e – Designed as a tiled pattern so every side of the box gets a funny quote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1784\" data-end=\"1902\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1786\" data-end=\"1902\"\u003e🎨 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1789\" data-end=\"1809\"\u003eOriginal artwork\u003c\/strong\u003e – Parody of boastful political speech, not affiliated with or endorsed by any public figure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1974\" data-end=\"1977\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1979\" data-end=\"2026\"\u003eSpecs (Edit to match your actual product)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2236\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2070\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2070\"\u003eMaterial: Premium gift wrap paper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2070\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2070\"\u003ePrint: Full-color, edge-to-edge pattern\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677237113107,"sku":"20713264668944052841","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677237145875,"sku":"26961832138972799475","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677237178643,"sku":"23491627965666471359","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677237211411,"sku":"30069630483354813263","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677237244179,"sku":"30818784512178326589","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677237276947,"sku":"15302710605147991057","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/8318434854480616322_4096.jpg?v=1763645873"},{"product_id":"world-class-snowflakes-political-parody-gift-wrap","title":"“World-Class Snowflakes” Political Parody Gift Wrap","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"370\" data-end=\"585\"\u003eTurn your presents into pure political theater with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"426\" data-end=\"481\"\u003e“World-Class Snowflakes” Political Parody Gift Wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e—a bold, funny, and totally over-the-top design featuring confident winter swagger and blustery bravado.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"587\" data-end=\"892\"\u003eThis wrapping paper showcases an original pattern of stylized snowflakes paired with tongue-in-cheek quotes that hype up the weather like it’s running for office. Perfect for Christmas, winter birthdays, office parties, white elephant exchanges, and anyone who appreciates a little satire with their snow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"894\" data-end=\"920\"\u003eFeatured quotes include:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"921\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"921\" data-end=\"968\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"923\" data-end=\"968\"\u003e“These snowflakes? Absolutely spectacular.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"971\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003e“World-class flakes. Truly the best.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1011\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1013\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e“You’ve never seen snow like this—everyone’s talking!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1070\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003e“Other snowflakes? Sad.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1099\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1101\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e“Unbelievable snowfall. Tremendous.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1141\" data-end=\"1263\"\u003eWhether you’re wrapping a serious gift or a silly one, this parody paper adds a hilarious punch that steals the spotlight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677335417107,"sku":"25884165786719101246","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677335449875,"sku":"76610553699526921033","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677335482643,"sku":"12707959936378429822","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677335515411,"sku":"69171412198993370422","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677335548179,"sku":"18151855893499574221","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677335580947,"sku":"22538443002228691766","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/9357268438330621163_4096.jpg?v=1771167076"},{"product_id":"executive-orders-gift-wrap-political-parody-edition","title":"Executive Orders Gift Wrap – Political Parody Edition","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"450\"\u003eTurn your presents into a matter of \u003cem data-end=\"512\" data-start=\"486\"\u003eurgent official business\u003c\/em\u003e with the \u003cstrong data-end=\"579\" data-start=\"522\"\u003eExecutive Orders Gift Wrap – Political Parody Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e. This all-occasion wrapping paper features faux “executive orders” written with dramatic flair—perfect for anyone who loves satire, office humor, or just a good laugh before tearing into a gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"838\" data-start=\"776\"\u003eThe repeating pattern showcases mock-official decrees such as:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"999\" data-start=\"840\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"873\" data-start=\"840\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"873\" data-start=\"842\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"871\" data-start=\"842\"\u003e“Unwrap With Enthusiasm.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"923\" data-start=\"874\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"923\" data-start=\"876\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"921\" data-start=\"876\"\u003e“Display Gratitude, Even If You Hate It.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"955\" data-start=\"924\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"955\" data-start=\"926\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"953\" data-start=\"926\"\u003e“Smile Before Opening.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"999\" data-start=\"956\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"999\" data-start=\"958\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"999\" data-start=\"958\"\u003e“React Dramatically to All Presents.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1134\" data-start=\"1001\"\u003eEach line delivers tongue-in-cheek seriousness, making your gifts feel \u003cem data-end=\"1100\" data-start=\"1072\"\u003egovernment-level important\u003c\/em\u003e—but in the silliest way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1291\" data-start=\"1136\"\u003ePerfect for Christmas, birthdays, office parties, gag gifts, white elephant exchanges, retirements, or any moment that could benefit from parody authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677385650451,"sku":"22549354857676128272","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677385683219,"sku":"21881268588937357490","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677385715987,"sku":"20978618859900181367","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677385748755,"sku":"15725470322567237831","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52677385781523,"sku":"14908003299597123669","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52677385814291,"sku":"84612825198624239265","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/13939631966678652810_4096.jpg?v=1763648824"},{"product_id":"styled-for-success-parody-gift-wrap-blonde-whoosh-gold-stars","title":"“Styled for Success” Parody Gift Wrap – Blonde Whoosh \u0026 Gold Stars","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"463\" data-end=\"699\"\u003eMake your presents unforgettable with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"505\" data-end=\"546\"\u003e“Styled for Success” Parody Gift Wrap\u003c\/strong\u003e, a bright orange, star-spangled design featuring a cartoonish blonde swoosh of hair delivering confident, over-the-top messages in classic parody style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"701\" data-end=\"888\"\u003eThis vibrant wrapping paper showcases gold stars, playful speech bubbles, and a satirical hair swoosh that brings the bravado. Each repeating pattern includes the tongue-in-cheek phrases:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"890\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"890\" data-end=\"919\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"919\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"917\"\u003e“Styled For Success.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"954\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"922\" data-end=\"954\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"922\" data-end=\"952\"\u003e“Over The Top Generosity.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"955\" data-end=\"999\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"999\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"997\"\u003e“Better Than Whatever They Got You.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003e“Perfect. Believe It.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1030\" data-end=\"1248\"\u003eIt’s fun, loud, and perfect for anyone who loves humor, parody, or gifting with attitude. Use it for Christmas, birthdays, office parties, white elephant gifts, or anytime you want your wrap to be the real showstopper.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52685055492371,"sku":"16075639481880111152","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52685055525139,"sku":"18257646466436330888","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52685055557907,"sku":"49900797686716740320","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52685055590675,"sku":"22145356110031181862","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52685055623443,"sku":"36193841271152902900","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52685055656211,"sku":"11355298566760242970","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/16057342765315646720_4096.jpg?v=1763698351"},{"product_id":"civic-nonsense-jar-candle-may-your-house-smell-better-than-the-news","title":"Civic Nonsense Jar Candle — “May Your Home Smell Better Than the News”","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"475\" data-end=\"798\"\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong data-start=\"484\" data-end=\"514\"\u003eCivic Nonsense Neutralizer\u003c\/strong\u003e, a hand-poured soy candle created for the days when the headlines are too loud and reality feels like satire. Featuring a bold caricature of a blonde, bombastic politician sniffing the air, this candle delivers exactly what it promises: a home that smells better than the news cycle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"800\" data-end=\"1052\"\u003eLight it when you need a break from the circus. Dual cotton wicks create a smooth, even glow while your choice of \u003cstrong data-start=\"914\" data-end=\"933\"\u003eWhite Tea \u0026amp; Fig\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"954\"\u003eLavender \u0026amp; Sage\u003c\/strong\u003e, or \u003cstrong data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"980\"\u003eOcean Mist \u0026amp; Moss\u003c\/strong\u003e fills the room with something far more calming than cable commentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1054\" data-end=\"1321\"\u003ePrinted in full vibrant color, the glass jar doubles as a display piece—and once the wax is gone, it can be washed and reused as a pen cup, vase, or desk accessory. Perfect for offices, kitchen counters, gift-giving, and anyone who needs a laugh with their self-care.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1343\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1343\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1410\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1346\" data-end=\"1410\"\u003e100% American-grown soy wax — clean-burning, vegan, food-grade\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1411\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003eThree scent options: White Tea \u0026amp; Fig; Lavender \u0026amp; Sage; Ocean Mist \u0026amp; Moss\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003eDual cotton-cored wicks for even melt and ~65 hours burn time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1556\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003eFull-color 360° printed glass featuring political parody artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1623\" data-end=\"1666\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1625\" data-end=\"1666\"\u003eIncludes cardboard lid to keep dust out\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1667\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1669\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003eReusable glass vessel after burning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1707\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1709\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003eAssembled in the USA with globally sourced components\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1766\" data-end=\"1787\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1766\" data-end=\"1787\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1788\" data-end=\"1920\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1788\" data-end=\"1809\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"1809\"\u003eBurn within sight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1810\" data-end=\"1846\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1812\" data-end=\"1846\"\u003eKeep away from children and pets\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1847\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1849\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eDo not burn near flammable items\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1884\" data-end=\"1920\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1920\"\u003eTrim wick to ¼\" before each burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White Tea and Fig","offer_id":52690024562963,"sku":"13872104043600785351","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52690024595731,"sku":"13268485920517307976","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Minted Lavender and Sage","offer_id":52690024628499,"sku":"62961219267497721769","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/civic-nonsense-jar-candle-may-your-home-smell-better-than-the-news-by-epials-shop-9653663.jpg?v=1789596613"},{"product_id":"not-socks-i-can-assure-you-gift-bag-political-parody","title":"“Not Socks. I Can Assure You.” Gift Bag — Political Parody","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"810\" data-start=\"526\"\u003eAdd a playful dose of political parody to any celebration with the \u003cstrong data-end=\"636\" data-start=\"593\"\u003e“Not Socks. I Can Assure You.” Gift Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e, featuring the politician caricature confidently holding a clipboard—because he’s checked, personally, and wants you to know this gift is absolutely \u003cem data-end=\"791\" data-start=\"786\"\u003enot\u003c\/em\u003e socks. (Probably.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1214\" data-start=\"812\"\u003eDesigned in a charming vintage style, this all-occasion gift bag brings fun and personality to birthdays, holidays, family gatherings, office parties, and any moment worth celebrating. The spacious interior easily holds multiple gifts, while the soft polyester-cotton blend gives it a smooth feel and sturdy structure. The sewn-in drawstring closure makes it simple to secure your surprises with style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1359\" data-start=\"1216\"\u003eWhether you’re gifting something heartfelt or hilariously unexpected, this bag adds the perfect touch of humor, charm, and “official” approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1385\" data-start=\"1361\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1385\" data-start=\"1365\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1763\" data-start=\"1386\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1433\" data-start=\"1386\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1433\" data-start=\"1388\"\u003eSewn-in drawstring for easy, secure closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1481\" data-start=\"1434\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1481\" data-start=\"1436\"\u003eSpacious design accommodates multiple gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1523\" data-start=\"1482\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1523\" data-start=\"1484\"\u003eMade of \u003cstrong data-end=\"1521\" data-start=\"1492\"\u003e95% polyester \/ 5% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1580\" data-start=\"1524\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1580\" data-start=\"1526\"\u003eGenerous size: \u003cstrong data-end=\"1578\" data-start=\"1541\"\u003e19.7\" × 26\" (50.03 cm × 66.04 cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1627\" data-start=\"1581\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1627\" data-start=\"1583\"\u003eVintage-inspired look for elevated gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1686\" data-start=\"1628\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1686\" data-start=\"1630\"\u003eFeatures the politician caricature holding a clipboard\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1763\" data-start=\"1687\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1763\" data-start=\"1689\"\u003eStatement text: \u003cstrong data-end=\"1761\" data-start=\"1705\"\u003e“Not Socks. I Can Assure You. I Checked Personally.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1790\" data-start=\"1765\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1790\" data-start=\"1769\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1828\" data-start=\"1791\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1810\" data-start=\"1791\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1810\" data-start=\"1793\"\u003eSpot clean only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1828\" data-start=\"1811\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1828\" data-start=\"1813\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e19.7\" x 26\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eThickness, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"19.7\" x 26\"","offer_id":52700110979347,"sku":"32092410117632735127","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/8199832627550177942_2048.jpg?v=1763969118"},{"product_id":"working-hard-believe-me-mouse-pad-political-parody","title":"“Working Hard. Believe Me.” Mouse Pad — Political Parody","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"733\" data-start=\"456\"\u003eAdd a dose of bold humor to your workspace with the \u003cstrong data-end=\"549\" data-start=\"508\"\u003e“Working Hard. Believe Me.” Mouse Pad\u003c\/strong\u003e, featuring the politician caricature in the corner and minimalist gold lettering. It’s the perfect balance of cheeky and classy — a small desk accessory that delivers big personality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1038\" data-start=\"735\"\u003eMade from smooth neoprene with a non-slip rubber backing, this mouse pad keeps your workflow steady while letting your mouse glide across crisp, high-resolution printing. The slim 1\/4\" profile stays unobtrusive on any desk setup. Choose between \u003cstrong data-end=\"989\" data-start=\"980\"\u003eround\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-end=\"1008\" data-start=\"993\"\u003erectangular\u003c\/strong\u003e to match your workspace vibe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1164\" data-start=\"1040\"\u003ePerfect for home offices, work desks, or as a fun gift for anyone who appreciates political parody and smart, subtle satire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1190\" data-start=\"1166\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1190\" data-start=\"1170\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1538\" data-start=\"1191\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1254\" data-start=\"1191\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1254\" data-start=\"1193\"\u003eDurable \u003cstrong data-end=\"1226\" data-start=\"1201\"\u003eneoprene construction\u003c\/strong\u003e for comfort and longevity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1314\" data-start=\"1255\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1314\" data-start=\"1257\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1284\" data-start=\"1257\"\u003eNon-slip rubber backing\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps pad securely in place\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1363\" data-start=\"1315\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1363\" data-start=\"1317\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1361\" data-start=\"1317\"\u003eVibrant, high-resolution one-sided print\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1400\" data-start=\"1364\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1400\" data-start=\"1366\"\u003eSlim \u003cstrong data-end=\"1390\" data-start=\"1371\"\u003e0.25\" (0.63 cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e profile\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1451\" data-start=\"1401\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1451\" data-start=\"1403\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-end=\"1425\" data-start=\"1416\"\u003eround\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-end=\"1442\" data-start=\"1429\"\u003erectangle\u003c\/strong\u003e shapes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1538\" data-start=\"1452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1538\" data-start=\"1454\"\u003eFeatures the politician caricature and bold gold text: \u003cem data-end=\"1538\" data-start=\"1509\"\u003e“Working Hard. Believe Me.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1565\" data-start=\"1540\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1565\" data-start=\"1544\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1687\" data-start=\"1566\"\u003eUse warm water and dish soap to spot-clean.\u003cbr data-end=\"1612\" data-start=\"1609\"\u003eNo need to soak entire pad.\u003cbr data-end=\"1642\" data-start=\"1639\"\u003eFor tougher areas, use a soft-bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eRound\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eRectangle\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e7.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eThickness, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Rectangle","offer_id":52700124119315,"sku":"70429365970172032095","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Round","offer_id":52700124152083,"sku":"18053933827085275668","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/9075998021134500933_2048.jpg?v=1763969493"},{"product_id":"not-socks-wrapping-paper-political-parody-gift-wrap","title":"“Not Socks” Wrapping Paper — Political Parody Gift Wrap","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"356\" data-end=\"632\"\u003eWrap your gifts with confidence (and just a hint of suspicion) using the \u003cstrong data-start=\"429\" data-end=\"459\"\u003e“Not Socks” Wrapping Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e — a playful, political-parody design perfect for birthdays, holidays, office parties, or any moment when you want your wrapping to get a reaction before the gift even does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"909\"\u003eFeaturing bold, tongue-in-cheek text and a clean, modern layout, this high-quality wrapping paper adds humor without sacrificing style. The smooth, premium paper stock makes folding crisp edges easy and keeps colors vibrant, giving your presents a polished, intentional look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1010\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003e(Same specs as your other wrapping paper)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1122\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1122\"\u003ePremium, smooth-finish wrapping paper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1123\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1125\" data-end=\"1160\"\u003eVibrant, high-resolution printing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1161\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003eClean folds and easy handling for professional-looking wrapping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1267\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1267\"\u003eAvailable in multiple size options\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1268\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003eIdeal for birthdays, holidays, office events, and gag gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1332\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1334\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e“Not Socks” political parody theme for clever, memorable gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003eStore flat or rolled to prevent creasing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1500\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1475\" data-end=\"1500\"\u003eKeep away from moisture\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1501\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003eRecycle where paper products are accepted\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52703769264403,"sku":"16107614922304021734","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52703769297171,"sku":"27485834174181905707","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52703769329939,"sku":"22667808665132013944","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52703769362707,"sku":"14919069739913183668","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52703769395475,"sku":"21457796691161656455","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52703769428243,"sku":"28748336370178735516","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/17796568679401312819_4096.jpg?v=1763986231"},{"product_id":"political-parody-official-gift-wrapping-paper-of-winners-tremendous-seal-pattern","title":"Political Parody “Official Gift Wrapping Paper of Winners” – Tremendous Seal Pattern","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"409\" data-end=\"755\"\u003eMake every gift look \u003cem data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"442\"\u003etremendous\u003c\/em\u003e with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"452\" data-end=\"497\"\u003e“Official Gift Wrapping Paper of Winners”\u003c\/strong\u003e — a boldly confident parody design featuring your signature politician caricature inside an official-looking mock seal. Printed in a repeating pattern on rich, deep-toned paper, this wrap turns any present into a hilarious showpiece before it’s even opened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003ePerfect for Christmas, birthdays, gag gifts, office exchanges, political junkies, or anyone who loves humor with a touch of “executive energy.” The crisp, high-resolution print and smooth finish make your gifts look polished and intentionally over-the-top in the best possible way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003eBecause if you're going to wrap gifts, you might as well look like a winner doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003eHigh-quality \u003cstrong data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1192\"\u003ewrapping paper sheets\u003c\/strong\u003e in your chosen finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1267\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1267\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1246\"\u003eDurable, smooth texture\u003c\/strong\u003e for a premium feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1268\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003eDeep, bold colors with crisp repeating parody seal pattern\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1331\" data-end=\"1415\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1333\" data-end=\"1415\"\u003eGreat for holidays, birthdays, gag gifts, and collectible political parody items\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1455\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1418\" data-end=\"1455\"\u003eEasy to fold, tape, curl, and craft\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1502\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1502\"\u003ePrinted with environmentally-friendly inks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1505\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003eLightweight enough for precise wrapping but strong enough to resist tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 36\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 180\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e180.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52707877159187,"sku":"75925650902152998458","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 36\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52707877191955,"sku":"59288273661852512652","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52707877224723,"sku":"31422541076730765751","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52707877257491,"sku":"23526053848557768655","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":52707877290259,"sku":"25012026377468318960","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"30\" x 180\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52707877323027,"sku":"58298468571318226863","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/17947603575643037393_4096.jpg?v=1771166905"},{"product_id":"best-coast-energy-ocean-mist-candle-parody-coastal-collection","title":"“Best Coast Energy” Ocean Mist Candle – Parody Coastal Collection","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"654\" data-start=\"348\"\u003eBring big coastal attitude to your space with the “Best Coast Energy” Candle — a playful, tongue-in-cheek tribute to bold beach vibes. Featuring a bright sunrise, rolling waves, and a caricature politician enjoying the ocean breeze, this candle delivers fresh coastal humor wrapped in clean, modern design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"944\" data-start=\"656\"\u003ePoured with 100% American-grown soy wax and fragranced with \u003cstrong data-end=\"737\" data-start=\"716\"\u003eOcean Mist \u0026amp; Moss\u003c\/strong\u003e, it smells like a crisp shoreline morning — airy, cool, and undeniably refreshing. The dual cotton wicks give an even, slow burn, while the 360° wraparound label brings a fun illustrated moment to any room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1080\" data-start=\"946\"\u003ePerfect as a conversation starter, a beach-house gift, or a laugh-worthy stocking stuffer. Fresh, bold, and full of best-coast energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1085\" data-start=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-end=\"1111\" data-start=\"1087\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1109\" data-start=\"1089\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1553\" data-start=\"1112\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1182\" data-start=\"1112\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1182\" data-start=\"1114\"\u003e100% American-grown soy wax — clean-burning, vegan, and food-grade\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1238\" data-start=\"1183\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1238\" data-start=\"1185\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1195\" data-start=\"1185\"\u003eScent:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ocean Mist \u0026amp; Moss (fresh, airy, coastal)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1310\" data-start=\"1239\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1310\" data-start=\"1241\"\u003eDual cotton-cored wicks for an even melt and ~65 hours of burn time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1394\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1394\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003e360° wraparound printed glass label with bright beach art + parody illustration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1448\" data-start=\"1395\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1448\" data-start=\"1397\"\u003eIncludes a cardboard dust lid to keep scent fresh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1494\" data-start=\"1449\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1494\" data-start=\"1451\"\u003eReusable clear-glass vessel after burning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1553\" data-start=\"1495\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1553\" data-start=\"1497\"\u003eAssembled in the USA using globally sourced components\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1558\" data-start=\"1555\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-end=\"1588\" data-start=\"1560\"\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong data-end=\"1586\" data-start=\"1565\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1728\" data-start=\"1589\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1610\" data-start=\"1589\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1610\" data-start=\"1591\"\u003eBurn within sight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1647\" data-start=\"1611\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1647\" data-start=\"1613\"\u003eKeep away from children and pets\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1686\" data-start=\"1648\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1686\" data-start=\"1650\"\u003eDo not burn near flammable objects\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1728\" data-start=\"1687\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1728\" data-start=\"1689\"\u003eTrim wicks to ¼ inch before each burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52741357633811,"sku":"18913518121231944599","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/best-coast-energy-ocean-mist-candle-parody-coastal-collection-by-epials-shop-9266222.jpg?v=1789596550"},{"product_id":"polls-are-in-im-100-tired-of-everybody-40oz-parody-travel-mug","title":"“Polls Are In—I'm 100% Tired of Everybody” 40oz Parody Travel Mug","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"526\"\u003eStay refreshed while expressing exactly how you feel with this hilarious political-parody 40oz travel mug. Featuring a bold bar-graph graphic that “reports” the latest poll results—100% tired of everybody—this mug delivers humor with every sip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"528\" data-end=\"859\"\u003eBuilt from durable stainless steel and designed with double-wall insulation, it keeps drinks hot or cold for hours. The ergonomic handle provides an easy, comfortable grip, while the leak-proof push-on lid helps prevent spills on the go. Perfect for long days, commutes, work, or gifting to someone equally exhausted with humanity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"983\"\u003eWhether you're into political humor or just a little over it all, this mug says what you're thinking so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"985\" data-end=\"988\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"992\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003e🔧 PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1018\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003eMade from durable stainless steel to resist rust and corrosion\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003eDouble-wall insulation keeps drinks hot or cold for hours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1147\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003eLarge 40oz capacity ideal for long trips and outdoor activities\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1264\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1264\"\u003eErgonomic handle for a comfortable, secure grip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1265\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1267\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003eLeak-proof push-on lid helps prevent spills\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1314\" data-end=\"1317\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1319\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1321\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1346\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1346\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1348\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003eDishwasher safe (top rack recommended)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1391\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003eOr wash by hand with warm water and mild dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e40oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.84\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth with handle, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.79\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"40oz \/ Teal","offer_id":52761520341267,"sku":"29948403986253650850","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"40oz \/ White","offer_id":52761520374035,"sku":"14883283238950675607","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/polls-are-in-im-100-tired-of-everybody-40oz-parody-travel-mug-by-epials-shop-7595864.png?v=1789596494"},{"product_id":"polls-are-in-i-m-100-tired-of-everybody-political-parody-mug","title":"“Polls Are In — I’m 100% Tired of Everybody” Political Parody Mug","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"251\" data-end=\"537\"\u003eStart your morning with a strong dose of honesty. This political parody mug features a bold, humorous bar-graph design announcing the cold, hard data: you’re 100% tired of everybody. Perfect for the office, home, or anyone who appreciates a little sarcastic truth with their caffeine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"829\"\u003eMade from durable ceramic with vibrant colors, this mug is built for real-life use — microwave-safe for quick reheats and dishwasher-safe for effortless cleaning. Available in both 11oz and 15oz sizes with a comfortable C-shaped handle, it’s the ideal blend of practicality and personality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"977\"\u003eWhether you’re sipping coffee, tea, or simply making a statement, this mug brings laughter, attitude, and a perfectly relatable mood to every sip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"982\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"984\" data-end=\"1009\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"986\" data-end=\"1009\"\u003e🔧 PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1010\" data-end=\"1229\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1010\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003eMicrowave-safe for convenient heating\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1054\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003eDishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1090\" data-end=\"1128\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1128\"\u003eCrisp, vibrant full-color printing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1129\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003eAvailable in two sizes: \u003cstrong data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1163\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1176\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1179\" data-end=\"1229\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1229\"\u003eC-shaped handle for a comfortable, secure grip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1234\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1236\" data-end=\"1262\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1238\" data-end=\"1262\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1337\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1337\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1265\" data-end=\"1337\"\u003eClean in the dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":52762742522131,"sku":"65343327900195762238","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":52762742554899,"sku":"33642157637438298449","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/polls-are-in-im-100-tired-of-everybody-political-parody-mug-by-epials-shop-6300550.jpg?v=1789596440"},{"product_id":"make-politics-boring-again-parody-mug-two-tone-ceramic-coffee-cup","title":"“Make Politics Boring Again” Parody Mug – Two-Tone Ceramic Coffee Cup","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"303\" data-end=\"601\"\u003eBring back the bliss of boring politics with this bold parody mug — perfect for anyone who’s had enough of the chaos. Featuring a tongue-in-cheek “Make Politics Boring Again” design with a crossed-out silhouette, this two-tone ceramic mug blends humor, style, and just the right amount of attitude.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"603\" data-end=\"887\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"616\" data-end=\"629\"\u003ewhite\/red\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"649\"\u003ewhite\/black\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s ideal for morning coffee, office laughs, or gifting to the politically exhausted. The vibrant interior and handle add a pop of color, while the smooth, high-quality ceramic ensures your drink stays warm and your message stays loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"926\"\u003eSip, relax, and toast to calmer days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"928\" data-end=\"931\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"933\" data-end=\"958\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"958\"\u003e📦 PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"1002\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1002\"\u003eCeramic mug with glossy two-tone finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1003\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1041\"\u003eAvailable in 11oz and 15oz sizes\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1044\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003eMicrowave-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e for quick reheating\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1087\" data-end=\"1133\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1133\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1108\"\u003eDishwasher-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e for effortless cleanup\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1134\" data-end=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1136\" data-end=\"1176\"\u003eC-shaped handle for a comfortable grip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1241\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1179\" data-end=\"1241\"\u003eVibrant color interior and handle (white\/red or white\/black)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003eCrisp, high-resolution printed design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1285\" data-end=\"1288\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1292\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1336\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1319\" data-end=\"1336\"\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1386\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1339\" data-end=\"1386\"\u003eOr wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1387\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":52765748232467,"sku":"11040695142344820238","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"11oz \/ Red","offer_id":52765748265235,"sku":"30098484502370847329","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":52765748298003,"sku":"32337930767220709885","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Red","offer_id":52765748330771,"sku":"14739967633451516088","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/4585315121546575285_2048.jpg?v=1765010367"},{"product_id":"this-mug-tremendous-ceramic-coffee-mug-1","title":"“This Mug? Tremendous.” Ceramic Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"478\" data-end=\"722\"\u003eStart your day with a boost of bravado. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"524\" data-end=\"570\"\u003e“This Mug? Tremendous.” Ceramic Coffee Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers political parody with a perfectly over-the-top punch, featuring bold typography and a clean white exterior paired with a sleek black interior.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"922\"\u003eWhether you’re sipping morning coffee, afternoon tea, or your daily dose of sarcasm, this mug proudly declares what everyone is already thinking:\u003cbr data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"872\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"872\" data-end=\"922\"\u003eThis mug is tremendous. Absolutely tremendous.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"924\" data-end=\"1085\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"937\" data-end=\"946\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"951\" data-end=\"960\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e sizes, it’s perfect for home, office desks, gag gifts, white elephant parties, or anyone who enjoys humor served piping hot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1087\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c!-- x-tinymce\/html --\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1114\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003e✔️ White glossy exterior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1141\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1143\" data-end=\"1182\"\u003e✔️ Black interior for a bold contrast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1218\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1185\" data-end=\"1218\"\u003e✔️ Available in 11 oz and 15 oz\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e✔️ Durable ceramic construction\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1257\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e✔️ Dishwasher \u0026amp; microwave safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1292\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003e✔️ Perfect political parody gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1329\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e✔️ Great for office humor, birthdays, and stocking stuffers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz \/ Black","offer_id":52799618973971,"sku":"32105129427360302321","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz \/ Black","offer_id":52799619006739,"sku":"11002061246916273339","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/this-mug-tremendous-ceramic-coffee-mug-by-epials-shop-9692091.jpg?v=1789596501"},{"product_id":"i-know-words-aluminum-bookmark-political-parody-edition","title":"“I Know Words” Aluminum Bookmark – Political Parody Edition","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"530\" data-start=\"262\"\u003eFor readers who appreciate confidence, irony, and a well-kept page, this slim aluminum bookmark delivers all three. Featuring a bold, single-sided design with the phrase \u003cstrong data-end=\"450\" data-start=\"432\"\u003e“I KNOW WORDS”\u003c\/strong\u003e, it slips neatly over the page and stays put without creasing or tearing paper.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"833\" data-start=\"532\"\u003eLightweight yet durable, the smooth rounded edges and top U-shaped slot make it easy to handle while reading at home, on the go, or between meetings. The crisp white printable front showcases vibrant color and sharp detail, while the brushed aluminum back adds subtle shine and structure without bulk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1011\" data-start=\"835\"\u003eEqual parts practical and tongue-in-cheek, this bookmark is a small but unmistakable nod to political parody for people who enjoy their humor dry and their place firmly marked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1016\" data-start=\"1013\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1041\" data-start=\"1018\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1380\" data-start=\"1042\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1090\" data-start=\"1042\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1090\" data-start=\"1044\"\u003eRounded edges for a smooth, comfortable grip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1155\" data-start=\"1091\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1155\" data-start=\"1093\"\u003eSingle-sided printable front with vibrant color reproduction\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1214\" data-start=\"1156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1214\" data-start=\"1158\"\u003eFeatherlight aluminum construction (approximately 9 g)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1274\" data-start=\"1215\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1274\" data-start=\"1217\"\u003eTop U-shaped slot to securely hold pages without damage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1327\" data-start=\"1275\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1327\" data-start=\"1277\"\u003eWhite printable front with brushed aluminum back\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1380\" data-start=\"1328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1380\" data-start=\"1330\"\u003eAssembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1385\" data-start=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1412\" data-start=\"1387\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1475\" data-start=\"1413\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1475\" data-start=\"1413\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1475\" data-start=\"1415\"\u003eWipe gently with a clean, dry cloth to remove dust or dirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDepth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.03\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52803231449363,"sku":"26189975820316069344","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/i-know-words-aluminum-bookmark-political-parody-edition-by-epials-shop-8645338.jpg?v=1789596497"},{"product_id":"concept-of-a-plan-spiral-notebook","title":"Concept of a Plan – Spiral Notebook","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"232\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eThis compact spiral notebook is made for ideas that aren’t finished yet — and don’t need to be. With a bold \u003cstrong data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"363\"\u003e“concept of a plan”\u003c\/strong\u003e headline and graph-paper-inspired cover art filled with arrows, charts, and half-formed doodles, it sets the tone for thinking things through without pretending you already have the answers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"556\" data-end=\"917\"\u003eInside, 118 ruled pages of smooth 90gsm paper handle pens and pencils cleanly, making it easy to jot notes, sketch frameworks, or map out ideas still under review. The sturdy metal spiral folds back neatly for comfortable writing or lets you remove pages without tearing, while an interior document pocket keeps loose notes, receipts, or reference scraps close.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"919\" data-end=\"1095\"\u003eSized at 6\" x 8\", it’s lightweight, portable, and ready for desks, meetings, backpacks, or coffee-shop brainstorming sessions — because sometimes writing it down \u003cem data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1085\"\u003eis\u003c\/em\u003e the plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1102\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e✏️ PRODUCT FEATURES\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1129\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003e118 ruled pages on smooth 90gsm paper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1227\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1171\" data-end=\"1227\"\u003e350gsm front and back covers with printed front design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003eDurable metal spiral binding for easy page turning and removal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1295\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1297\" data-end=\"1349\"\u003eInterior document pocket on back cover for storage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1350\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003eCompact 6\" x 8\" size — easy to carry anywhere\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1400\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003eDark grey back cover for a clean, finished look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1453\" data-end=\"1456\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1483\"\u003e🧼 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1486\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003eUse a soft, clean, dry cloth to gently brush dust or dirt from the center of the book outward\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne Size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eThickness, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One Size","offer_id":52824022221075,"sku":"11270303434968124953","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/4467957495596488779_2048.jpg?v=1766204489"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-20oz-stainless-steel-tumbler","title":"Adulting, Like You Wouldn’t Believe – 20oz Tumbler","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"171\" data-end=\"444\"\u003eThis stainless steel tumbler is built for long days, early mornings, and whatever adulting throws your way. With a sleek brushed-metal finish and a bold yet understated graphic that reads \u003cstrong data-start=\"359\" data-end=\"401\"\u003e“ADULTING, like you wouldn’t believe.”\u003c\/strong\u003e, it delivers dry humor with zero effort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"446\" data-end=\"811\"\u003eDouble-wall insulation keeps coffee hot through meetings and water cold through errands, while the slim profile slides easily into most cup holders. The spill-resistant lid helps prevent messes during commutes, carpool lines, or desk-side refills. Durable, practical, and quietly funny — this is the tumbler you reach for when you’re showing up and getting it done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"813\" data-end=\"816\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"818\" data-end=\"842\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"843\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"843\" data-end=\"908\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"845\" data-end=\"908\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"845\" data-end=\"882\"\u003e20oz stainless steel construction\u003c\/strong\u003e for everyday durability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"974\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"974\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"937\"\u003eDouble-wall insulation\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps drinks hot or cold for hours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"1052\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"1052\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"1011\"\u003eHigh-resolution printed design\u003c\/strong\u003e with color-true, fade-resistant finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1123\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1123\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eSpill-resistant sliding lid\u003c\/strong\u003e with rubber gasket to reduce leaks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1124\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1126\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1126\" data-end=\"1157\"\u003eSlim, travel-friendly shape\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most car cup holders\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1190\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1218\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eHand wash only to preserve finish and print quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e20oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"20oz \/ Silver","offer_id":52827405811987,"sku":"34939123300428603686","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/adulting-like-you-wouldnt-believe-20oz-tumbler-by-epials-shop-7725838.jpg?v=1789596377"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-black-ceramic-coffee-mug-11oz-15oz","title":"Adulting, Like You Wouldn’t Believe – Black Ceramic Coffee Mug (11oz \u0026 15oz)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"433\"\u003eThis glossy black ceramic mug delivers caffeine with a side of quiet humor. Featuring the understated phrase \u003cstrong data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"331\"\u003e“ADULTING, like you wouldn’t believe.”\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s made for early mornings, long meetings, and the kind of responsibility that requires refills.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"435\" data-end=\"732\"\u003eThe smooth, deep-black finish gives the design a clean, confident look, while the crisp, fade-resistant print holds up through daily use. Whether you’re starting the day, powering through the afternoon, or decompressing at night, this mug fits right into real-life routines — no pep talk required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"734\" data-end=\"826\"\u003eAvailable in both 11oz and 15oz sizes, it’s equally suited for modest sips or serious pours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"828\" data-end=\"831\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"857\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"858\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"858\" data-end=\"908\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"860\" data-end=\"908\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"860\" data-end=\"883\"\u003eGlossy 100% ceramic\u003c\/strong\u003e with rich black finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"949\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"949\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"947\"\u003eAvailable in 11oz and 15oz sizes\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"950\" data-end=\"991\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"952\" data-end=\"991\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"952\" data-end=\"970\"\u003eMicrowave-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e for easy reheating\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"992\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"1013\"\u003eDishwasher-safe\u003c\/strong\u003e for effortless cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1042\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1042\" data-end=\"1073\"\u003eComfortable C-shaped handle\u003c\/strong\u003e for everyday use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1093\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1128\"\u003eVibrant, fade-resistant print\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1154\"\u003eLead and BPA-free\u003c\/strong\u003e for peace of mind\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1176\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1207\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1208\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1208\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1210\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003eClean in the dishwasher (top rack recommended)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1259\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1261\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003eOr wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter (with handle), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":52827406106899,"sku":"11298852115123936085","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":52827406139667,"sku":"18428393393015984088","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/adulting-like-you-wouldnt-believe-black-ceramic-coffee-mug-11oz-15oz-by-epials-shop-1746029.jpg?v=1789596374"},{"product_id":"adulting-like-you-wouldn-t-believe-wireless-charging-pad","title":"Adulting Like You Wouldn’t Believe Wireless Charger | Funny Desk Charger","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"97\" data-end=\"162\"\u003eAdulting.\u003cbr data-start=\"133\" data-end=\"136\"\u003eLike you wouldn’t believe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"220\"\u003eBills paid. Phone charged. Emotional stability… pending.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"222\" data-end=\"475\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"227\" data-end=\"256\"\u003eAdulting Wireless Charger\u003c\/strong\u003e does what you’re doing: quietly holding it together and getting the job done. Featuring bold text with a certain \u003cem data-start=\"370\" data-end=\"389\"\u003every recognizable\u003c\/em\u003e hair detail, it’s equal parts humor, survival badge, and desk-level coping mechanism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"477\" data-end=\"548\"\u003eSet your phone down and let it charge while you continue… impressively.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"575\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"573\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love It:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"838\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"mlktxe\" data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"636\"\u003e5W wireless charging because you’ve got enough to manage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"zyfpom\" data-start=\"637\" data-end=\"692\"\u003eBold, funny design that feels a little too accurate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1ru8h9k\" data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"735\"\u003eMatte finish for a clean, low-key look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1m8e5gt\" data-start=\"736\" data-end=\"782\"\u003eSlim, lightweight build that fits anywhere\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1s8pv3r\" data-start=\"783\" data-end=\"838\"\u003eA daily reminder that you are, in fact, functioning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"967\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"899\"\u003eSet It Down. Power Up. Keep Pretending You’ve Got This.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"899\" data-end=\"902\"\u003ePerfect for desks, nightstands, or anywhere you need a small win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eBecause honestly? You’re doing better than you think.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1047\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1045\"\u003eProduct Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1048\" data-end=\"1321\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"qrruu7\" data-start=\"1048\" data-end=\"1101\"\u003e5W wireless charging compatible with most devices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1328vg4\" data-start=\"1102\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003eCharges through most plastic phone cases\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1k5nvaa\" data-start=\"1147\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003eDurable double-wall plastic construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"z74my7\" data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1227\"\u003eLightweight and travel-friendly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1h1r6ko\" data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1276\"\u003eNon-slip surface to keep your phone in place\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"oe254g\" data-start=\"1277\" data-end=\"1321\"\u003eIncludes USB to Micro USB charging cable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1332\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gbtzu6\" data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eDiameter: 2.72\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"zmme2m\" data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003eThickness: 0.35\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1377\" data-end=\"1401\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1377\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1501\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1cy5rfl\" data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003eUnplug before cleaning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1plmglz\" data-start=\"1429\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003eWipe gently with a clean, dry cloth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1uyzej1\" data-start=\"1469\" data-end=\"1501\"\u003eDo not use liquids or sprays\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1700\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice (POD):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1542\" data-end=\"1545\"\u003eThis item is made to order. It may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps reduce overproduction and waste. Responsible. Efficient. Barely hanging on.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"2.75\" x 2.75\" \/ Black\/Black","offer_id":52834092056851,"sku":"28943729539095197082","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/11853813963469399127_2048.jpg?v=1766488317"},{"product_id":"certified-six-seven-wireless-charging-pad","title":"Certified Six-Seven Wireless Charger | Everyone Agrees Desk Charger","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"194\"\u003eCertified. Official. Completely unquestioned.\u003cbr data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"167\"\u003eEveryone agrees. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"196\" data-end=\"481\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"201\" data-end=\"241\"\u003eCertified Six-Seven Wireless Charger\u003c\/strong\u003e looks like it came straight from a very serious department of very important approvals. Featuring a bold, seal-style design with unmistakable energy, it gives your desk that “this has been reviewed and stamped” vibe… whether it has or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"483\" data-end=\"546\"\u003eSet your phone down and let it charge under full certification.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"548\" data-end=\"569\"\u003eNo further questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"571\" data-end=\"596\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"571\" data-end=\"594\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love It:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"877\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"cem7ox\" data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"658\"\u003eQi wireless charging because certified efficiency matters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"s7k6ix\" data-start=\"659\" data-end=\"712\"\u003eFaux-official seal design with maximum confidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"z8em8g\" data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"771\"\u003eGlossy acrylic surface for sharp, high-contrast detail\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gsnqm7\" data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"819\"\u003eSlim, modern build that fits any desk setup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1bnptc\" data-start=\"820\" data-end=\"877\"\u003eA conversation piece that sounds legit enough to work\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"916\"\u003eSet It Down. Power Up. Certified.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"919\"\u003ePerfect for desks, offices, or anywhere that could use a little authority… real or otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1055\"\u003eBecause if it’s stamped, it must be true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1057\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1057\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003eProduct Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"pgpm07\" data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1134\"\u003eQi wireless charging (5W \/ 7.5W \/ 10W compatible)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1awqkoq\" data-start=\"1135\" data-end=\"1162\"\u003eDurable aluminum casing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"nckh6x\" data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eGlossy acrylic face plate with high-resolution print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1908x0w\" data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1258\"\u003eNon-slip rubber feet for stability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"131mafi\" data-start=\"1259\" data-end=\"1300\"\u003eIncludes 47\" Micro USB charging cable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"r58byd\" data-start=\"1301\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003eBlack base for a clean, modern finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1396\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1oduoo7\" data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1375\"\u003eDiameter: 3.94\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"zmjb5m\" data-start=\"1376\" data-end=\"1396\"\u003eThickness: 0.31\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1398\" data-end=\"1422\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1398\" data-end=\"1420\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1cy5rfl\" data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1449\"\u003eUnplug before cleaning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1plmglz\" data-start=\"1450\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003eWipe gently with a clean, dry cloth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1491\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1491\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice (POD):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1533\"\u003eThis item is made to order. It may take up to 2 weeks for production and delivery. Orders may be fulfilled by international partners to ensure faster shipping while maintaining quality. Officially intentional. Universally approved.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"2.75\" x 2.75\" \/ Black\/Black","offer_id":52834103820563,"sku":"71311045786381791633","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/certified-six-seven-wireless-charger-everyone-agrees-desk-charger-by-epials-shop-3134083.jpg?v=1789596308"},{"product_id":"certified-six-seven-gift-wrap-paper-political-parody","title":"Certified Six-Seven Gift Wrap Paper (Political Parody)","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"321\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"296\" data-end=\"319\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"322\" data-end=\"634\"\u003eTurn any gift into a statement with our \u003cstrong data-start=\"362\" data-end=\"401\"\u003eCertified Six-Seven Gift Wrap Paper\u003c\/strong\u003e—because presentation matters, and so does satire. This bold repeating medallion design wraps your gift in unmistakable confidence, official-looking flair, and just enough absurdity to get a reaction before the ribbon even comes off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"636\" data-end=\"951\"\u003ePrinted on durable, flexible paper with your choice of satin or matte finish, this wrap is designed to look polished without taking itself too seriously. Whether you’re wrapping holiday gifts, birthdays, office exchanges, or “I couldn’t not buy this” moments, this paper delivers maximum impact with minimal effort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"953\" data-end=\"1087\"\u003ePerfect for political parody fans, collectors of Six-Seven gear, and anyone who believes wrapping paper should do some of the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1094\" data-end=\"1119\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1439\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1193\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1193\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"1135\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003esatin\u003c\/strong\u003e (soft sheen) or \u003cstrong data-start=\"1161\" data-end=\"1170\"\u003ematte\u003c\/strong\u003e (low-gloss) finishes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003ePrinted using \u003cstrong data-start=\"1210\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003eGreenguard UL Certified, water-based inks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1327\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1327\"\u003eDurable, flexible paper resists scratching, cracking, and tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1328\" data-end=\"1374\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1374\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003e100% recyclable paper\u003c\/strong\u003e (no shrink wrap)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1375\" data-end=\"1414\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1377\" data-end=\"1414\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003ethree size options\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1415\" data-end=\"1439\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1417\" data-end=\"1439\"\u003eAssembled in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1441\" data-end=\"1444\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1446\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1449\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1512\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1475\" data-end=\"1512\"\u003eWipe clean with a smooth, dry cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1513\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003eMaterial is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1550\"\u003enot water resistant\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1557\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1559\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1562\" data-end=\"1594\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1597\" data-end=\"1786\"\u003eThis gift wrap is made to order and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each sheet is printed specifically for your order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1788\" data-end=\"1791\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1793\" data-end=\"1812\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1796\" data-end=\"1810\"\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1813\" data-end=\"2021\"\u003eThis product is intended as \u003cstrong data-start=\"1841\" data-end=\"1872\"\u003epolitical satire and parody\u003c\/strong\u003e. All imagery and messaging are expressive commentary and are \u003cstrong data-start=\"1934\" data-end=\"2020\"\u003enot affiliated with or endorsed by any political candidate, party, or organization\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30'' x 20''\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 144\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e144.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"29'' x 144\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52874979737875,"sku":"33508264802057851732","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 144\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52874979770643,"sku":"66331877213845881549","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 20\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52874979803411,"sku":"33822554662505338985","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 20\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52874979836179,"sku":"38900234889050326171","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52874979868947,"sku":"30744984869566670362","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 72\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52874979901715,"sku":"18341681809208879909","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/certified-six-seven-gift-wrap-paper-political-parody-by-epials-shop-1984746.jpg?v=1789595842"},{"product_id":"official-phone-holder-phone-grip-political-parody-kickstand","title":"Official Phone Holder Phone Grip | Political Parody Kickstand","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"256\" data-end=\"284\"\u003e🗳️ Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"285\" data-end=\"356\"\u003eThis phone holder has been reviewed.\u003cbr data-start=\"321\" data-end=\"324\"\u003eAnd yes, it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"338\" data-end=\"355\"\u003every official\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"358\" data-end=\"593\"\u003eFeaturing a bold parody seal reading \u003cstrong data-start=\"395\" data-end=\"439\"\u003e“Official Phone Holder – Very Official,”\u003c\/strong\u003e this grip delivers maximum authority with zero actual jurisdiction. Designed to look serious, sound legitimate, and exist purely for comedic reassurance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"595\" data-end=\"899\"\u003eThe oval grip extends smoothly for a secure hold, then folds flat when not in use. Use it as a kickstand for scrolling, streaming, or conducting important phone-based business. The reusable adhesive backing allows for easy repositioning without residue, because even official equipment needs flexibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"901\" data-end=\"970\"\u003eApproved for holding.\u003cbr data-start=\"922\" data-end=\"925\"\u003eCertified for scrolling.\u003cbr data-start=\"949\" data-end=\"952\"\u003eAuthority implied.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"972\" data-end=\"975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"1000\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1001\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1001\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1003\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003eBright, durable polycarbonate print with vivid, long-lasting color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1074\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003eComfort-focused oval shape that extends for grip and folds flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1140\" data-end=\"1188\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1142\" data-end=\"1188\"\u003eFunctions as both a phone grip and kickstand\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eReusable adhesive backing — repositionable and easy to apply\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003eCompact one-size design (1.4\" × 2.8\") with metal mechanism\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1319\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eAvailable in matte or glossy finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1357\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003eMade in South Korea\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1385\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1387\" data-end=\"1412\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1475\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1475\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1415\" data-end=\"1475\"\u003eWipe gently with a clean, dry cloth to remove dust or dirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e2.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDepth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e0.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Glossy \/ One size \/ White","offer_id":52886002270483,"sku":"32656007271614039898","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Matte \/ One size \/ White","offer_id":52886002303251,"sku":"93778640013899504519","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/official-phone-holder-phone-grip-political-parody-kickstand-by-epials-shop-7036910.jpg?v=1789595773"},{"product_id":"probably-the-best-valentine-candle-political-parody-soy-candle","title":"Probably the Best Valentine Candle – Political Parody Soy Candle","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"260\" data-end=\"288\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"286\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"358\"\u003eSome Valentine gifts whisper. This one confidently clears its throat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"360\" data-end=\"594\"\u003eFeaturing a tongue-in-cheek political parody design with a bold silhouette, heart motif, and the phrase \u003cstrong data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"498\"\u003e“Probably the best Valentine!”\u003c\/strong\u003e, this candle leans fully into exaggerated confidence while still delivering real, cozy comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"796\"\u003ePoured with 100% American-grown soy wax, this candle burns clean and evenly, filling the room with a warm glow and a subtle reminder that love, like opinions, can be delivered with absolute certainty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"902\"\u003ePerfect for Valentine’s Day, political humor fans, or anyone who appreciates romance served with satire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"904\" data-end=\"907\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"934\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"932\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"966\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"937\" data-end=\"966\"\u003e100% American-grown soy wax\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"967\" data-end=\"1009\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1009\"\u003eClean-burning, vegan, and cruelty-free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1010\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eThree scent options:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1037\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1037\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003eWhite Tea \u0026amp; Fig\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1059\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1061\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003eLavender \u0026amp; Sage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003eOcean Mist \u0026amp; Moss\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1103\" data-end=\"1154\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1154\"\u003eFull 360° premium print on a reusable glass jar\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1157\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003eTwo cotton-cored wicks for an even, long-lasting burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1246\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1246\"\u003eApprox. \u003cstrong data-start=\"1223\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003e65-hour burn time\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1247\" data-end=\"1275\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1249\" data-end=\"1275\"\u003eLead- and phthalate-free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003eAssembled in the USA with globally sourced parts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1338\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1398\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1398\"\u003eKeep burning candle within sight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1399\" data-end=\"1438\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1401\" data-end=\"1438\"\u003eKeep away from children and animals\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1441\" data-end=\"1474\"\u003eNever burn near flammable items\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1475\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1477\" data-end=\"1523\"\u003eTrim wicks before each burn for best results\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1525\" data-end=\"1528\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1548\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1533\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003eGift Note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1679\"\u003eAn ideal Valentine’s gift for lovers of political satire, bold humor, and candles that make a statement before they even light up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White Tea and Fig","offer_id":52911412085011,"sku":"14407466540199563720","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52911412117779,"sku":"10621393201668760785","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Minted Lavender and Sage","offer_id":52911412150547,"sku":"61682179930473659148","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/probably-the-best-valentine-candle-political-parody-soy-candle-by-epials-shop-8608568.jpg?v=1789595482"},{"product_id":"many-people-are-saying-this-candle-burns-beautifully","title":"Many People Are Saying… This Candle Burns Beautifully","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"261\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"238\" data-end=\"261\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"262\" data-end=\"337\"\u003eMany people are saying it.\u003cbr data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"291\"\u003eVery smart people.\u003cbr data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"312\"\u003ePossibly the best people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"339\" data-end=\"640\"\u003eThis candle delivers a calm, even burn paired with a cheeky, minimalist design that says exactly what it needs to say — without saying too much. Clean lines, understated humor, and a soft glow make this candle perfect for desks, shelves, gift baskets, and anyone who appreciates satire served quietly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"694\"\u003eLight it. Enjoy it. Let the candle speak for itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"699\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"701\" data-end=\"724\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"704\" data-end=\"724\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"725\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"725\" data-end=\"779\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"727\" data-end=\"779\"\u003ePremium soy wax blend for a clean, consistent burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"839\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"782\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eClear glass vessel with a minimalist, modern silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"898\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"842\" data-end=\"898\"\u003eHigh-quality printed design with crisp, lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"899\" data-end=\"956\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"901\" data-end=\"956\"\u003eLong-lasting burn ideal for daily ambiance or gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003eDesigned to complement both cozy and contemporary spaces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1048\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1027\" data-end=\"1048\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003ePlace on a heat-safe surface before lighting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1135\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1100\" data-end=\"1135\"\u003eTrim wick to ¼\" prior to each use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1136\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1138\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003eDo not burn longer than 4 hours at a time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1184\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003eKeep away from drafts, pets, and unattended areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1237\" data-end=\"1240\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1277\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1245\" data-end=\"1277\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1464\"\u003eThis candle is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White Tea and Fig","offer_id":52921332891923,"sku":"87015668489131891273","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52921332924691,"sku":"30657617478563700076","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Minted Lavender and Sage","offer_id":52921332957459,"sku":"25320930011937768567","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/many-people-are-saying-this-candle-burns-beautifully-by-epials-shop-3551431.jpg?v=1789595357"},{"product_id":"authorized-flame-candle-executive-approval-edition","title":"Authorized Flame Candle – Executive Approval Edition","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"304\" data-start=\"276\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"302\" data-start=\"279\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"400\" data-start=\"305\"\u003eThis candle has been thoroughly reviewed, confidently approved, and officially cleared to burn.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"773\" data-start=\"402\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"462\" data-start=\"406\"\u003eAuthorized Flame Candle – Executive Approval Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers dry, satirical humor wrapped in a clean, modern design. Featuring bold faux-official language and an unmistakably confident seal, this candle makes a statement without saying a word. It’s equally at home on a desk, shelf, coffee table, or gifted to someone who appreciates sharp wit and cozy ambiance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1003\" data-start=\"775\"\u003eCrafted with a premium soy wax blend and designed for a smooth, even burn, this candle balances form, function, and personality. It brings warmth, atmosphere, and just enough authority to any space. Everyone says it’s excellent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1029\" data-start=\"1005\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1029\" data-start=\"1009\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1322\" data-start=\"1030\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1084\" data-start=\"1030\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1084\" data-start=\"1032\"\u003ePremium soy wax blend for a clean, consistent burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1144\" data-start=\"1085\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1144\" data-start=\"1087\"\u003eClear glass vessel with a minimalist, modern silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1203\" data-start=\"1145\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1203\" data-start=\"1147\"\u003eHigh-quality printed design with crisp, lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1261\" data-start=\"1204\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1261\" data-start=\"1206\"\u003eLong-lasting burn ideal for daily ambiance or gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1322\" data-start=\"1262\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1322\" data-start=\"1264\"\u003eDesigned to complement both cozy and contemporary spaces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1349\" data-start=\"1324\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1349\" data-start=\"1328\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1536\" data-start=\"1350\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1398\" data-start=\"1350\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1398\" data-start=\"1352\"\u003ePlace on a heat-safe surface before lighting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1436\" data-start=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1436\" data-start=\"1401\"\u003eTrim wick to ¼\" prior to each use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1482\" data-start=\"1437\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1482\" data-start=\"1439\"\u003eDo not burn longer than 4 hours at a time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1536\" data-start=\"1483\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1536\" data-start=\"1485\"\u003eKeep away from drafts, pets, and unattended areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-end=\"1574\" data-start=\"1538\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1574\" data-start=\"1542\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1761\" data-start=\"1575\"\u003eThis candle is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White Tea and Fig","offer_id":52922184859923,"sku":"33596901934117635104","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52922184892691,"sku":"26653540222049213693","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Minted Lavender and Sage","offer_id":52922184925459,"sku":"75566568026144533486","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/authorized-flame-candle-executive-approval-edition-by-epials-shop-6537492.jpg?v=1789595233"},{"product_id":"even-horizontal-by-candlelight-political-parody-candle","title":"Even Horizontal by Candlelight – Political Parody Candle","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"274\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"249\" data-end=\"272\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"275\" data-end=\"313\"\u003eSome silhouettes speak for themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"315\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"319\" data-end=\"353\"\u003eEven Horizontal by Candlelight\u003c\/strong\u003e candle delivers understated political parody with a steady, confident burn. Featuring a familiar profile set against a distressed American flag and the line \u003cem data-start=\"511\" data-end=\"562\"\u003e“Even horizontal by candlelight, still dominant,”\u003c\/em\u003e this design leans into visual satire without spelling anything out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"818\"\u003eIt’s clever. It’s absurd. It’s intentionally vague — and that’s the point. Perfect for desks, bookshelves, gift exchanges, or anyone who appreciates humor that whispers instead of yells.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"820\" data-end=\"846\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"844\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"901\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"901\"\u003ePremium soy wax blend for a clean, consistent burn\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"902\" data-end=\"961\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"904\" data-end=\"961\"\u003eClear glass vessel with a minimalist, modern silhouette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003eHigh-quality printed design with crisp, lasting detail\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003eLong-lasting burn ideal for daily ambiance or gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1079\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1081\" data-end=\"1139\"\u003eDesigned to complement both cozy and contemporary spaces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1141\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1171\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003ePlace on a heat-safe surface before lighting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003eTrim wick to ¼\" prior to each use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1301\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1301\"\u003eDo not burn longer than 4 hours at a time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1304\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003eKeep away from drafts, pets, and unattended areas\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1357\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1393\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1396\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003eThis candle is made to order. Producing items on demand helps reduce waste and ensures each piece is created specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White Tea and Fig","offer_id":52927309447443,"sku":"31201697258150708343","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Ocean Mist and Moss","offer_id":52927309480211,"sku":"23952192589790540833","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Minted Lavender and Sage","offer_id":52927309512979,"sku":"15189049999861652761","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/even-horizontal-by-candlelight-political-parody-candle-by-epials-shop-3239058.jpg?v=1789595300"},{"product_id":"presidential-seal-pattern-gift-wrap-all-occasion-wrapping-paper","title":"Presidential Seal Pattern Gift Wrap | All-Occasion Wrapping Paper","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"321\" data-end=\"528\"\u003eA bold, classic pattern with unmistakable authority. This all-occasion gift wrap features a repeating presidential seal–style motif that brings a polished, ceremonial feel to any gift, without saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"530\" data-end=\"729\"\u003ePerfect for birthdays, holidays, retirements, office gifts, or anyone who appreciates subtle satire, symbolism, or timeless iconography. Designed to stand out on the table before it ever gets opened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"731\" data-end=\"824\"\u003ePrinted to order for crisp detail, rich contrast, and a smooth finish that folds beautifully.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"829\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"856\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"854\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"857\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"857\" data-end=\"930\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"859\" data-end=\"930\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"872\" data-end=\"894\"\u003esatin (soft sheen)\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-start=\"898\" data-end=\"919\"\u003ematte (low-gloss)\u003c\/strong\u003e finishes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"931\" data-end=\"994\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"933\" data-end=\"994\"\u003ePrinted using \u003cstrong data-start=\"947\" data-end=\"992\"\u003eGreenguard UL Certified, water-based inks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"997\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003eDurable, flexible paper resists scratching, cracking, and tearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1065\" data-end=\"1111\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1111\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e100% recyclable paper\u003c\/strong\u003e (no shrink wrap)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1114\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1149\"\u003ethree size options\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003eAssembled in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1183\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1185\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1209\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1212\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1212\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003eWipe clean with a smooth, dry cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1252\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003eMaterial is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1266\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003enot water resistant\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1299\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1813\" data-end=\"2021\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1334\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003eThis gift wrap is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures each sheet is printed specifically for your order. Production and shipping times may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30'' x 20''\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 72\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" x 144\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e72.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e144.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"29'' x 144\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52938193568019,"sku":"11013626593965659018","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 144\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52938193600787,"sku":"13271377250600245356","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 20\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52938193633555,"sku":"20660419591098134168","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 20\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52938193666323,"sku":"15556094455220795847","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 72\" \/ Matte","offer_id":52938193699091,"sku":"42446008344829889509","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"29'' x 72\" \/ Satin","offer_id":52938193731859,"sku":"15700759997386728134","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/presidential-seal-pattern-gift-wrap-all-occasion-wrapping-paper-by-epials-shop-2538334.jpg?v=1789595534"},{"product_id":"my-little-vote-big-ideas-for-tiny-hands-by-leanne-h-west","title":"My Little Vote: Big Ideas for Tiny Hands by Leanne H. West","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"486\" data-start=\"323\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"365\" data-start=\"323\"\u003eMy Little Vote: Big Ideas for Tiny Hands\u003c\/em\u003e is a warm, board-book introduction to choice, community, and participation, created especially for the youngest readers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"805\" data-start=\"488\"\u003eThrough simple words and friendly illustrations, this book helps toddlers understand everyday decision-making and how choosing together works, without political parties, slogans, or complexity. It frames civic ideas through kindness, cooperation, and shared responsibility, using concepts children already understand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"968\" data-start=\"807\"\u003eDesigned for little hands and curious minds, this sturdy board book invites caregivers to start meaningful conversations early, in a gentle, age-appropriate way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1065\" data-start=\"970\"\u003ePerfect for families, classrooms, libraries, and anyone who believes big ideas can begin small.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1079\" data-start=\"1067\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1079\" data-start=\"1067\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1224\" data-start=\"1080\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1107\" data-start=\"1080\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1107\" data-start=\"1082\"\u003eDurable board book format\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1143\" data-start=\"1108\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1143\" data-start=\"1110\"\u003eSimple, toddler-friendly language\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1175\" data-start=\"1144\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1175\" data-start=\"1146\"\u003eInclusive, nonpartisan themes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1196\" data-start=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1196\" data-start=\"1178\"\u003eIdeal for ages 0–4\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1224\" data-start=\"1197\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1224\" data-start=\"1199\"\u003eWritten by Leanne H. West\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1149\" data-start=\"1091\"\u003eAnd being here matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Material: 1\/16” thick white chipboard pages for durability;\u003cbr\u003e.: Finish: Matte lamination reduces glare and resists fingerprints;\u003cbr\u003e.: Rounded Corners: Safe and child-friendly design;\u003cbr\u003e.: Page count: 22 pages;\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"min-width: 360px;\" id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e6'' x 6''\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52939664818451,"sku":"22330279003751442510","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/my-little-vote-big-ideas-for-tiny-hands-by-leanne-h-west-by-epials-shop-6066265.jpg?v=1789594873"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/collections\/12168975511518232704_2048.jpg?v=1789607705","url":"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/collections\/bureaucracy-office-coworker-gifts.oembed?page=5","provider":"EpiAl's Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}