{"product_id":"household-compliance-handbook-board-book-cat-authority-faux-government-humor","title":"Household Compliance Handbook Board Book | Cat Authority Faux Government Humor","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"135\" data-end=\"189\"\u003eStandards will be enforced.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"498\"\u003eThe \u003cem data-start=\"195\" data-end=\"237\"\u003eHousehold Compliance Handbook Board Book\u003c\/em\u003e is the official (unofficial) guide to daily life under feline supervision. Issued by the Bureau of Domestic Compliance and sealed for authority, this short-form board book outlines the expectations, procedures, and non-negotiable standards governing your home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"711\"\u003eFrom feeding schedules that adjust without notice to furniture ownership that was never yours to begin with, each page delivers clear, concise directives in a tone that suggests this was never up for discussion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"750\"\u003eMinimalist. Deadpan. Fully compliant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"990\"\u003eDesigned as a novelty adult board book, it blends clean, structured language with quiet, escalating absurdity. Built for quick reads, repeat reads, and passive-aggressive display on coffee tables, desks, or anywhere oversight is required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"992\" data-end=\"1107\"\u003ePerfect for cat owners, rule-followers, rule-breakers, and anyone currently operating under unofficial supervision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1109\" data-end=\"1148\"\u003eBoard book format. Durable. Unyielding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e6'' x 6''\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth (closed), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e6.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54098410832147,"sku":"13336918831298770440","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/4758799488518841196_2048.jpg?v=1777515943","url":"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/products\/household-compliance-handbook-board-book-cat-authority-faux-government-humor","provider":"EpiAl's Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}