{"product_id":"my-expectations-were-low-sweatshirt-sarcastic-unisex-crewneck","title":"My Expectations Were Low Sweatshirt | Sarcastic Unisex Crewneck","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 3 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMy expectations were low. Somehow, not low enough.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor anyone who's ever thought things couldn't possibly get worse, only to be proven spectacularly wrong. This sarcastic crewneck sweatshirt delivers a healthy dose of dry humor with a small, understated chest design that says exactly what you're thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from a soft, medium-heavy cotton blend, this relaxed-fit sweatshirt is perfect for casual weekends, coffee runs, questionable decisions, and surviving another day of lowered expectations. The clean design and comfortable fit make it an easy everyday favorite for anyone who appreciates sarcasm, witty sayings, and a little well-earned pessimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're buying it for yourself or gifting it to someone who's perpetually disappointed in humanity, this sweatshirt gets the message across without saying another word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e80% ring-spun cotton and 20% polyester for softness and comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMedium-heavy 9.5 oz fabric for a cozy, substantial feel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRelaxed unisex fit for everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStretchable 1x1 ribbed collar, cuffs, and hem\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNecktape and half-moon back neck patch for added comfort and structure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmall chest graphic with bold lettering, script accents, and a red underline\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified low-impact dyes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C or 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUse non-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length from center back, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e35.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e36.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e38.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e39.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":67945591570707,"sku":"25256295470382466167","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":67945591603475,"sku":"25643783136727102951","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ S","offer_id":67945591636243,"sku":"21220083565455757144","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ S","offer_id":67945591669011,"sku":"38166535601256490552","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":67945591701779,"sku":"28249745505304937620","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":67945591734547,"sku":"30758548707109857119","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":67945591767315,"sku":"22464465714853038884","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ M","offer_id":67945591800083,"sku":"22305457738058289454","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ M","offer_id":67945591832851,"sku":"17192420369733162731","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":67945591865619,"sku":"30336796281794070034","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ L","offer_id":67945591898387,"sku":"25362802320095112506","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":67945591931155,"sku":"72033162587218571372","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ L","offer_id":67945591963923,"sku":"33739427126369221452","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ L","offer_id":67945591996691,"sku":"31599381399864814675","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":67945592029459,"sku":"30421662155352003304","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":67945592062227,"sku":"19467959319862551550","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":67945592094995,"sku":"19049970362672096914","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ XL","offer_id":67945592127763,"sku":"10984266388928639090","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ XL","offer_id":67945592160531,"sku":"12301837068133761062","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":67945592193299,"sku":"23271730969650211599","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67945592226067,"sku":"82473037930966873444","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":67945592258835,"sku":"22291863746878913953","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":67945592291603,"sku":"14093188661488244695","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 2XL","offer_id":67945592324371,"sku":"27578919236215578617","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67945592357139,"sku":"24739498931722667532","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67945592389907,"sku":"22881465760153893226","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":67945592422675,"sku":"33169540624141169180","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":67945592455443,"sku":"45028805475202651353","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 3XL","offer_id":67945592488211,"sku":"31264356841519359703","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67945592520979,"sku":"31167199042523747244","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/Smiling_Bearded_Man_in_Autumn_Park.png?v=1793839489","url":"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/products\/my-expectations-were-low-sweatshirt-sarcastic-unisex-crewneck","provider":"EpiAl's Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}