{"product_id":"united-states-of-apparently-crewneck-sweatshirt-funny-government-satire-eagle-seal","title":"United States of Apparently Crewneck Sweatshirt | Funny Government Satire Eagle Seal","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the United States of Apparently, where common sense is optional, confusion is bipartisan, and apparently, this is where we live now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis lightweight crewneck sweatshirt features a vintage-inspired parody government seal complete with a majestic eagle, patriotic details, and the words \"United States of Apparently.\" It looks official enough to belong in a government office, but the message tells a slightly different story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for anyone who follows the news, questions the decisions coming out of Washington, or has simply accepted that \"apparently\" is the only reasonable response to modern life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from 100% ring-spun cotton, this relaxed-fit sweatshirt offers lightweight comfort without the bulk of a traditional heavy fleece. Its classic crewneck styling makes it an easy choice for casual outings, political discussions, election season, or surviving another day in the United States of Apparently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA great gift for political humor enthusiasts, government employees, sarcastic friends, independent thinkers, and anyone whose response to the latest headlines is a long sigh followed by \"Well, apparently.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is an original satirical design and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or representative of any U.S. government agency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% ring-spun cotton: Smooth, comfortable fabric with a soft feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLightweight construction: 6.4 oz\/yd² fabric provides comfortable coverage without excessive bulk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRelaxed adult fit: Easygoing silhouette for everyday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOriginal satirical emblem: Vintage-inspired eagle seal featuring the words \"United States of Apparently.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem: Stretch-friendly 1x1 ribbing helps maintain shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReinforced construction: Shoulder and neck twill tape helps stabilize seams and reduce stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeamless body: Tubular construction eliminates side seams for a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSewn-in twill label: Classic finishing detail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold (maximum 30°C or 90°F).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not bleach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTumble dry on low heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat. Avoid ironing directly over the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length from center back, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e35.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67965750444307,"sku":"12802590977735271281","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":67965750477075,"sku":"32461390655747598276","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":67965750509843,"sku":"24316941129172268553","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ S","offer_id":67965750542611,"sku":"28643707583624633204","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":67965750575379,"sku":"16966986273103938923","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67965750608147,"sku":"70332893566744072218","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":67965750640915,"sku":"17547677579472902335","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ M","offer_id":67965750673683,"sku":"17446581008690014907","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ M","offer_id":67965750706451,"sku":"32215321677505010932","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":67965750739219,"sku":"14854503626300993982","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67965750771987,"sku":"11782872567162721884","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":67965750804755,"sku":"18968255249781602420","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ L","offer_id":67965750837523,"sku":"24804715178735755111","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ L","offer_id":67965750870291,"sku":"19502831147757028121","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":67965750903059,"sku":"61720959221249122679","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67965750935827,"sku":"13986580354584955373","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":67965750968595,"sku":"74642864905209762055","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ XL","offer_id":67965751001363,"sku":"32565802018844875723","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ XL","offer_id":67965751034131,"sku":"26834321059123549748","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":67965751066899,"sku":"32026097766682136533","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67965751099667,"sku":"21836400469215171764","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":67965751132435,"sku":"23480404944000566752","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 2XL","offer_id":67965751165203,"sku":"31221058080630090453","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 2XL","offer_id":67965751197971,"sku":"68734058364427630941","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67965751230739,"sku":"26425191121508377151","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67965751263507,"sku":"22443420000606223918","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 3XL","offer_id":67965751296275,"sku":"17102416624572943332","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 3XL","offer_id":67965751329043,"sku":"16267858262309651393","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 3XL","offer_id":67965751361811,"sku":"32243336409140075441","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67965751394579,"sku":"27287844408402063694","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/Sunlit_Garden_Portrait_with_Eagle_Emblem.png?v=1794082360","url":"https:\/\/www.epileptical.com\/products\/united-states-of-apparently-crewneck-sweatshirt-funny-government-satire-eagle-seal","provider":"EpiAl's Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}