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Absolute Comfort Political Parody Throw Blanket – Cozy Satire Statement Blanket

Absolute Comfort Political Parody Throw Blanket – Cozy Satire Statement Blanket

Sale price  $24.59 Regular price  $38.50
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📝 Product Description

Wrap yourself in peak comfort and unapologetic parody. This ultra-soft throw blanket features a bold faux-official seal design declaring “Absolute Comfort. They’re Talking About This.”—a tongue-in-cheek nod to overconfidence, spectacle, and cultural noise.

The velveteen front delivers rich color and crisp detail, while the brushed reverse adds an extra layer of cozy softness. It’s warm without being heavy, making it perfect for couch commentary, late-night scrolling, or dramatically existing through the news cycle.

Available in three versatile sizes, this blanket works just as well as a statement piece as it does a comfort essential. Political satire never felt this soft.

Perfect for: satire lovers, cozy critics, couch philosophers, and anyone who enjoys warmth with a wink.


✨ Product Features

  • Velveteen face with brushed reverse for extra softness

  • High-detail print with vibrant color retention

  • Medium heavy-weight fabric (~300 g/m²) for warmth without bulk

  • Durable double-needle topstitching on all seams

  • 100% polyester (or optional 83/17 polyester-spandex blend)

  • Meets safety and chemical compliance standards

  • Available in three sizes


📏 Available Sizes

  • Small – Great for lap use, office chairs, or travel

  • Medium – Ideal couch throw or accent blanket

  • Large – Generous coverage for beds or full-body lounging


🧼 Care Instructions

  • Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)

  • Hand washing recommended to extend quality

  • Tumble dry low

  • Do not bleach

  • Do not iron

  • Do not dry clean


📦 Production & Shipping Notice

This blanket is made to order and produced by one of our manufacturing partners. Creating items on demand helps reduce overproduction and waste. Production and shipping times may vary slightly, but each blanket is crafted specifically for your order.


⚠️ Disclaimer

This product is intended as political satire and parody. All imagery and text are expressive commentary and are not affiliated with or endorsed by any political candidate, party, or organization.

  30" × 40" 50" × 60" 60" × 80"
Width, in 30.00 50.00 60.00
Height, in 40.00 60.00 80.00

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