🧀 I Know Cheese. I Have the Best Cheese. Everyone Says It.
Engraved Acacia & Slate Charcuterie Board
by EpilepticAL.com
Bring a touch of presidential confidence to your next party with this tremendously classy engraved charcuterie board from EpilepticAL.com.
Laser-engraved with the iconic brag, “I Know Cheese. I Have the Best Cheese. Everyone Says It.”, this board adds humor and swagger to any spread — because nothing says luxury like cheddar and confidence served together.
Crafted from richly grained acacia wood with a removable slate center, it’s as functional as it is funny. Two matching acacia-handled cheese knives fit neatly into carved slots, keeping everything tidy and impressive. Whether you’re gifting it, displaying it, or serving your “best cheese,” this board always gets people talking — and laughing.
🪵 Product features
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Removable slate serving surface with light-grey engraved design
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Durable acacia wood frame that resists wear and develops a warm patina
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Includes two acacia-handled cheese knives stored in carved slots
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Crisp laser engraving for lasting contrast and humor
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Hand wash only; not dishwasher safe
🧼 Care instructions
💬 Design details
The phrase “I Know Cheese. I Have the Best Cheese. Everyone Says It.” is engraved into the slate in bold, legible serif font for a clean, timeless look.
💡 Perfect for
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Hosts who love to entertain with humor
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Political parody fans and foodies
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Housewarming, wedding, or gag gifts
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Wine nights, dinner parties, and snack diplomacy